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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

You get to choose which path you take. I see some of you have chosen the psychopath.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

I know there are bigger problems in the world right now, but I’ve just realized I’ve never seen a baby seagull.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Santa has the right idea: only visit people once a year, eat a snack, leave early.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Just because you haven’t found the right person, doesn’t mean you will.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Spoiler alert: Monday doesn’t care about your feelings.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

My dentist plays country music, so it’s like a double torture.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

So many people to disappoint, so little time.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Slipping into something more comfortable, another dimension.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

My dream is to buy a horse and race it. The horse will probably beat me but it’ll still be fun.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Diet hack: Spend your money filling up your gas tank so you won’t have money for groceries.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,413

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

Gonna take the kids to the planetarium so they can watch YouTube on their phones.

Trending via TikTok:

I named my wifi “The Promised LAN” because it always connects, but occasionally leaves you wandering in the desert looking for a better signal.

Seen just now on X:

In hell, you wait for a ‘verify your email address’ email that never arrives.

Trending via Reddit:

I think I just hit a Labubu with my car.

Spotted on Discord:

Welcome to adulthood. Everyone’s tired here.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Sleep when the baby sleeps, eat when the baby eats, work when the baby works.

Just shared via Reddit:

I’ve accepted I’ll never retire. I’ll be working up until my funeral… probably using a vacation day for it.

Trending via TikTok:

The only lesson I remember from the pandemic is that you’re only supposed to wash your hands if it’s your birthday.

Making waves on Slack:

Just remember, you don’t need a special reason to buy a cake.

The Bible is 100% accurate when thrown at close range.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Perfectly on point—and on impact! 📚💥😄"

accuracy, accurate, bible, close, close range, humor, joke, range, sarcasm, throwing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Name a better duo than sad and depressed.

0

2 months ago

better, comedy, depressed, duo, emotions, humor, irony, name, relationship, sad
Stereotypes are like mass graves. They’re both offensive ways to lump groups of people together.

0

2 months ago

both, commentary, comparison, criticism, grave, group, humor, mass, mass grave, offensive, people, social, social commentary, stereotype, stereotypes, together
Being too stressed isn’t good for the baby. I’m not pregnant though, it’s just that I’m the baby.

0

2 months ago

baby, being, good, humor, joke, just, parenting, pregnant, self-deprecation, stress, too
I often wonder how men could discover entire continents. Mine can’t even find the butter in the fridge.

0

2 months ago

butter, continents, cooking, discovery, even, fridge, humor, i, irony, men, mine, relationship, wonder
One minute you’re young and fun and the next, you need a tow out of a beanbag chair.

0

2 months ago

aging, beanbag, chair, changes, fun, humor, life, life changes, minute, need, next, tow, young
If I turned into a “teen wolf”, my first order of business would definitely be helping my basketball team get to the local championships.

0

2 months ago

basketball, business, championships, helping, humor, i, local, order, spirit, sports, team, team spirit, teen, teen wolf, transformation, wolf

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on TikTok this month:

Dear diary, sorry for only ever talking about myself. How are you? Do you have any hobbies?

26 shares on Threads this month:

Is it still murder if they said, “Some other time,” but I thought they said smother time?

23 shares on Instagram this month:

I got called “pretty” today! Well, the full sentence was “You’re pretty annoying,” but I only focus on the positive things.

69 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m at an age where, when I’m tying my shoes, I think about what else I can do while I’m down here.

22 shares on X this month:

I see why history can repeat itself. People are really stupid.

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

There’s a cougar warning in my neighborhood, but apparently it’s just a big cat. I bought a case of wine coolers for nothing.

34 shares on Slack this month:

Peak delusion is believing that a paragraph will make someone treat you better.

56 shares on Slack this month:

Cats are probably like: Oh, I should follow you on Litterboxd.

74 shares on Threads this month:

My favorite part of my workday is when I grab my shit and leave.

72 shares on Telegram this month:

Never faked an orgasm before, but the joy of ugly presents.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

I wish my midlife crisis made me want to get a gym membership and a revenge body, but instead I’m eating Snickers for breakfast in bed.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

My Saturday was going really well, until I realized it’s Sunday!

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

A college education is one of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

I have no issue with people talking in the morning. But not with me, please!

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

The way time stretches between the moment you put your hands under the air dryer and the realization it is in fact a paper towel dispenser.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Born to be a hater, forced to understand your perspective.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

How come it’s called “thrift store shopping” instead of Goodwill hunting?

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Can we change the phrase “Can I be frank with you” to “Can I be william with you”? I don’t want to be Frank.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

My husband keeps borrowing and losing my tweezers, so I’m naming this chin hair after him.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Keep your fries close and your onion rings closer.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

Whoever came up with a 30 minute lunch break needs a 30 minute beating.

Going viral on Slack:

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in a different realm.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Men be like, “That’s my dream girl,” then ruin her perspective of love forever.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Work is the worst video game ever.

Shared recently on Twitch:

The answer is a cabin in the woods, by the way.

Going viral on Reddit:

Why does the dentist have to take an x-ray of my teeth? They right there, bro!

Just landed via X:

If I delete a tweet, I should disappear with it.

Just landed via Reddit:

Deleting dating apps to meet someone the old-fashioned way (in the HR department).

Freshly posted on Reddit:

When you’re young, weekends are for fun. When you’re older, they’re for recovery.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

There are more bots on here than in Star Wars.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The Bible is 100% accurate when thrown at close range.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Name a better duo than sad and depressed.

Stereotypes are like mass graves. They’re both offensive ways to lump groups of people together.

Being too stressed isn’t good for the baby. I’m not pregnant though, it’s just that I’m the baby.

I often wonder how men could discover entire continents. Mine can’t even find the butter in the fridge.

One minute you’re young and fun and the next, you need a tow out of a beanbag chair.

If I turned into a “teen wolf”, my first order of business would definitely be helping my basketball team get to the local championships.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨