Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

God: “I told you to love thy neighbor – not start trade wars with them.”

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

I’ve already picked out my sweatpants for New Year’s Eve.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Being in love will have you put your pride aside and go to places you never thought you would, like New Jersey.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Life is just a sequence of missed opportunities.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

I can’t keep up anymore. Happy birthday to everyone for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Actually, men should take the pill. It makes more sense to unload the gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

No camera can do justice to a landscape that melts your heart.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Everyone is either engaged, at a run club, doing their master’s, or in Japan.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Hey man, just wanted to reach out and say I loved how much you drank at my wedding last night.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Do you know how much effort goes into looking this regular?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,505

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

Apparently the term for migraine-sufferer is ‘migraneur.’ Nice getting recognition as a kind of artisan of suffering.

Making waves on Messenger:

To my beloved wife, I leave my circus and my monkeys.

Trending via TikTok:

There should be a Mad Max movie that reveals the world outside Australia has actually remained pretty normal.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

One of the most amazing things in nature is that the basketball hoop is the perfect size to fit a basketball through.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I should get paid a lot more for being the boss of me.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Nobody is meaner to me than me. So take your shot.

Going bananas on Telegram:

In the coffee shop, booing everyone who orders decaf.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Non-parents be like: I would simply instruct the toddler to do something he doesn’t want to do, and he would obey.

Freshly posted on X:

Accidentally wore a blue shirt to Walmart and now I’m in the stockroom showing Sue how to use the forklift.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

“It is what it is,” I say, not really knowing what it actually is.

The Bible is 100% accurate when thrown at close range.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Perfectly on point—and on impact! 📚💥😄"

accuracy, accurate, bible, close, close range, humor, joke, range, sarcasm, throwing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Whoever first said, “It gets to a point,” was definitely at that point, and I feel them deeply.

0

3 months ago

definitely, empathy, expression, feel, feeling, humor, i, point, said
Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

0

2 months ago

awkward, better, communication, even, fix, humor, oh, said, say, saying, something, uh, weird
The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron, which is ironic.

0

2 months ago

adjective, humor, iron, ironic, language, metal, metallic, pun, wordplay
I thought being an adult meant cake for breakfast, not budgeting for therapy.

0

6 months ago

adult, adulting, being, breakfast, budgeting, cake, health, humor, i, irony, meant, mental, mental health, therapy, thought
In case you wanna quit vaping, I’d suggest using a harmonica.

0

2 months ago

addiction, advice, alternative, case, funny advice, harmonica, humor, ID, music, quit, suggestion, vaping
Your annoying online persona has captured my heart.

0

2 months ago

affection, annoying, heart, humor, love, media, online, online persona, persona, relationship, social, social media

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on X this month:

This site could use some more people who like to argue about literally anything.

84 shares on Messenger this month:

I just start doing the Macarena when I want to end conversations now.

70 shares on Discord this month:

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

69 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Cheer up! Your biggest mistake is probably still ahead of you.

15 shares on X this month:

Got me some lemons now for the cold. I hope the tequila helps.

99 shares on Reddit this month:

Can’t sleep because I keep finding exciting opportunities to get pissed off.

25 shares on Threads this month:

“Are you busy tomorrow?” My dear, that entirely depends on the rest of the information you’re about to give me.

97 shares on Discord this month:

Hate how quietly iPhones die. At 5% it should start verbally begging for its life.

76 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You either get a kid who eats like a bottomless pit, or you get one that when asked what they want for lunch answers “No thanks, I had lunch yesterday.”

21 shares on Telegram this month:

The best essential oils are the ones that drip out of Tacos.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

The dopamine hit of getting an Outlook meeting cancellation is unrivaled.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

A Jackie Chan fight scene where he’s in an IKEA warehouse and he fights off dudes with furniture pieces, but by the end he’s accidentally assembled it all into a complete Malm bedroom set.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Chuck Norris can rub two fires together to get a piece of wood.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Television is better for you than phone. It is like vaping vs smoking.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Our house is so messy that if we ever disappeared, the police would have no idea if there were “signs of a struggle”.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Studies show that 100% of all parents think alcohol tastes much better after spending the day with children.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

I love when people say “be yourself,” like I haven’t already been doing that and scaring everyone off.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Hold on, I just need to take off my glasses and put my face in my hands about it first.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Yogurts should come in a five-pack, not a four-pack, or make the workweek four days.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Please stop calling 911 when you see me dancing. I’m fine!

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

The longer I work in corporate, the more I realize… Micromanaging is just insecurity dressed up as leadership.

Making waves on TikTok:

I bet when you invited me to Thanksgiving dinner you didn’t think I’d stay this long.

Going viral on YouTube:

Lawyers should get walk-up songs in court like how wrestlers do.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

They said, “Enjoy your money because life is short.” Now my money is finished, but I’m still alive.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Zelda was easier as a kid because if you hit a hard puzzle, you could just wait a few days for more brain matter to come in, but now it’s the opposite.

Spotted on X:

I’m at that point in my life where if a car hit me, I’d probably say thank you to the kind stranger.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

They should invent a self-checkout where someone else scans the items and puts them in a bag.

Just landed via Messenger:

Have you ever been sitting around overthinking about overthinking, and then wonder why you’re even thinking that?

Just shared via WeChat:

I’m going to hell if anybody needs anything.

Seen just now on Facebook:

To quote Hamlet Act III, Scene III, Line 92 “No.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The Bible is 100% accurate when thrown at close range.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Whoever first said, “It gets to a point,” was definitely at that point, and I feel them deeply.

Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron, which is ironic.

I thought being an adult meant cake for breakfast, not budgeting for therapy.

In case you wanna quit vaping, I’d suggest using a harmonica.

Your annoying online persona has captured my heart.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨