Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Caveman bartender: “This one’s on the cave.”

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

The best part of getting older? I can wake up on my day off, without an alarm, at the same time my alarm would go off.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

I find it extremely hard to believe that you’re rolling on the floor laughing.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

They said I can never go back to that Vietnamese spot. They banh mi pho life.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Don’t worry, you’ll find the lost scissors when you’ll be searching for your glasses.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Americans saw water freeze at 0°C and said, “Let’s make that 32.”

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Nothing bores me like twins who don’t look alike, you should’ve just dropped later if you’re not going to participate.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Stirring up shit at the wedding by going up to random people and saying “I think it’s so brave that you’re here”.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Sunday is my favorite day to invent new things to worry about.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

I wish my wife’s sighs came with subtitles.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,509

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

Putting mental health before my education is a good idea until it affects my education, which affects my mental health, which affects my education.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I wish I could invoice people for wasting my time.

Just shared via Instagram:

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

Just shared via YouTube:

Never quit, unless it’s too hard.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Mercury is no longer in retrograde, so never trust a cow because the sun can’t swim.

Seen just now on Slack:

It’s never too early to be sad about having to work the next day.

Live now on Slack:

Christmas adverts: “Eat all the food! Drink all the drink! Spoil yourself! It’s Christmas!” New year adverts: “Look at what you’ve done to yourself, you fat sack of shit!”

Shared recently on Facebook:

How long past date can I eat eggs? Like are they still good or am I naming them now?

Seen just now on TikTok:

It was a tough year, but at least I did not buy a Labubu.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

But what if I don’t want someone that’s good for me?

The devil is keeping him alive to avoid spending eternity with him in hell.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
😂🔥 "When even the devil's like, 'Nah, I'm good,' you know you're special! 😈👌 #HellHoudini"

afterlife, alive, avoid, devil, eternity, hell, humor, irony, spending, supernatural

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Golf is a great way to learn all of the new curse words your subconscious has been cooking up in the lab.

0

2 months ago

activity, cooking, curse, curse word, frustration, funny activity, golf, great, humor, lab, learn, learning, new, sport, subconscious, word, words
Being offline for so long gave me the time to appreciate what’s really important in life, so I’m back online.

0

2 months ago

appreciate, back, being, humor, important, life, me, offline, online, time
“You like talking to yourself?” God forbid I seek advice from an expert.

0

2 months ago

advice, expert, God, humor, i, sarcasm, seek, self-confidence, self-talk, talking, wit, yourself
Whoever’s praying on my downfall, I appreciate you thinking of me.

0

2 months ago

appreciate, appreciation, downfall, humor, i, irony, me, positivity, praying, self-reflection, thinking
Don’t throw hate at me, throw money!

0

2 months ago

hate, humor, me, money, sarcasm, throw
For those who don’t want Alexa listening in on your conversations, they’re making a male version that doesn’t listen to anything.

0

2 months ago

Alexa, anything, conversation, conversations, humor, joke, listen, listening, making, male, male version, privacy, technology, version, want

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Once again I feel like I slept in a washing machine.

10 shares on WeChat this month:

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

58 shares on Threads this month:

My future husband is very lucky; he will never stay hungry, because I know so many restaurants with delicious food.

22 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Terrifying if true: Her eyes lighting up a room.

82 shares on Twitch this month:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I would love to see AI be unemployed.

17 shares on Telegram this month:

Oh, how much I love a Sunday when you don’t have to work the next day.

64 shares on YouTube this month:

My kids are asking for another dog that I can feed and walk.

37 shares on WeChat this month:

Just once I’d like to hear a doctor say, “Your guess is as good as mine.”

15 shares on Reddit this month:

Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

27 shares on TikTok this month:

If you gain 4 pounds in one weekend, that just means you’re an overachiever.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Have a good weekend, unless you have other plans.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

I am the proud father of two content providers. I mean children. Two children.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Some things are better left unsaid, unless you’re on X.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I’ve sacrificed a sheep.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

“You are what you eat”. I don’t remember eating a huge disappointment.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

The other day, I got the crazy idea to see if I could still do a cartwheel. I can’t.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Naked and Afraid because there’s a spider in the shower with me.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

That annoying moment when you’re texting someone and autocorrect decides to join the conversation.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Women will be like “I know a spot,” and then take you directly to hell.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Why do you always wanna change your life before you fall asleep, then in the morning you wake up like ‘Nah!’

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

Nothing says entitlement like a goose family crossing the road.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Being able to notice that a celebrity unfollowed another celebrity is some seriously jobless behaviour.

Shared recently on YouTube:

The web is the only place where you encourage strangers to follow you. What could possibly go wrong?

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Jane Austen gave us men who crossed fields in the rain. Mine left me on read, and liked someone else’s story.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Jingle all the way? In this economy?

Spotted on WeChat:

Some hoodies don’t hoodie the way other hoodies hoodie.

Just shared via TikTok:

Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Netflix will help you finish the name of the movie you’re typing, and then tell you they don’t have it.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I’m not asking for a lot, I just want someone down to earth that’s gonna touch me all over like my shower curtain does.

Spotted on YouTube:

God: “I don’t regret the Flood, but I do regret the Ark.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The devil is keeping him alive to avoid spending eternity with him in hell.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Golf is a great way to learn all of the new curse words your subconscious has been cooking up in the lab.

Being offline for so long gave me the time to appreciate what’s really important in life, so I’m back online.

“You like talking to yourself?” God forbid I seek advice from an expert.

Whoever’s praying on my downfall, I appreciate you thinking of me.

Don’t throw hate at me, throw money!

For those who don’t want Alexa listening in on your conversations, they’re making a male version that doesn’t listen to anything.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨