Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

My boss told me to show initiative, so I decided to finish work early.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

When you’re late for work, you gotta walk in fast and act like you’re mad.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

That feeling when it’s Friday, you blink once, and somehow it’s Monday again.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

You’d think, with the amount of overthinking I do, I’d make the right decision.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Damn boy, are you a horoscope? Because I’m selectively focusing on the parts of you that make sense for me.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

I can’t wait until my kids have a place of their own so I can come barging through their door and say “what’s for dinner? I don’t like that. Can you give me money for McDonald’s?”

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

I drive home so quick after work like I’m late for the house.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Kind of rude you didn’t wake me up before you went went.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

If I had today’s mind, I wouldn’t have made yesterday’s mistake. But if I hadn’t made yesterday’s mistake, I wouldn’t have today’s mind.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Twitter needs a button that’s “bring back that tweet I was just starting to read before you automatically refreshed.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,425

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

Calm yourself, Lucifer. You did the right thing coming to me for advice.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I can’t wait for my mom to come to my new house so she can tell me how I organized the kitchen wrong.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

I SAID YES!!!!!! after I asked myself if I wanted a breakfast burrito.

Making waves on Snapchat:

If a portal opened up in front of me, I’d go in—no questions asked.

Making waves on Messenger:

Dating apps aren’t working, time to walk into a cafe looking confused.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

A wise man once said, “Bees don’t waste their time explaining to flies that honey is better than shit.”

Freshly posted on X:

Can’t believe, as a kid, I thought 21-year-olds had their lives figured out.

Just shared via Pinterest:

New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

Shared recently on WeChat:

How would someone cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? Do you just call them and say you can’t come?

Going viral on WeChat:

To avoid burnout at work, use the 30-30 rule: after 30 minutes of work, quit your job and disappear into the mountains for 30 years.

The only way I’m gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like my GPS has 'muscle memory' for the drive-thru! 🚗💥🏋️‍♂️🍔"

accidentally, comedy, drive, fitness, gym, hit, humor, i, laziness, motivation, only, procrastination, workout

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Just once I’d like to buy a house plant that didn’t have the lifespan of a soap bubble.

0

2 months ago

bubble, expectations, frustration, gardening, house, house plant, humor, ID, just, lifespan, plant, soap, soap bubble
I’ve been doing Dry January, but it’s literally just been my lips and skin.

0

2 months ago

doing, drinking, dry, Dry January, humor, January, just, lips, self-care, skin
Someone was saying that social media makes you miss out on your real life, but have you seen real life?

0

2 months ago

comparison, funny observation, humor, irony, life, life comparison, media, miss, miss out, observation, real, real life, saying, seen, social, social media, someone
I wish rolling your eyes burned calories.

0

2 months ago

burning, calorie, calorie burning, eye, eye rolling, eyes, fitness, fitness joke, humor, i, joke, rolling, sarcastic, sarcastic humor, wish
I wonder how much this “Never mind, it’s only 10 bucks” has already cost me?

0

2 months ago

budgeting, cost, decisions, financial, financial decisions, habits, humor, i, me, mind, money, much, never, regret, spending, spending habits, wonder
Airports are the perfect place to see people who are experiencing their first day on Earth.

0

2 days ago

airport, awkwardness, behavior, day, Earth, first day, human, human behavior, humor, observation, people, perfect, place, public, public place, travel

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Imagine giving someone your heart at Christmas, but the very next day they give it away. Haha, would feel so stupid.

80 shares on WeChat this month:

“This too shall pass.” And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never f**king ends.

20 shares on Twitch this month:

“Stop overthinking.” Oh, wow. Hadn’t considered that. Solved.

57 shares on Discord this month:

Dating for love isn’t working. Now I’m dating to conduct psychological experiments and collect data.

18 shares on Twitch this month:

I’d like to shrink you down and add you to my keychain.

23 shares on Twitch this month:

He was only called Mr. Pepper until he published his groundbreaking research on fizzics.

40 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t have time for anything that doesn’t set my soul on fire.

13 shares on TikTok this month:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting a hug for Christmas.

95 shares on Discord this month:

I’ve been alive my whole life, and not once have I seen a commercial for Chinese food.

11 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t want to sleep like a baby, I want to sleep like a cat. 14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Pugs look like regular dogs that ran into a door at full speed.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

I went downstairs to get my charger. I came back up with a bowl of ice cream and no charger.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

It probably feels so good to ram your head into something as a cat.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Sunday should be 48 hours instead of 24. I need more time to be ready for Monday.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Imagine the carnage at an IKEA team building event.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

That’s kind of sexy of you to be a little weird.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

His palm trees are Serengeti, destination wedding, luggage is heavy. There’s vomit on his tux already, Dollar store confetti.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Male birth control is free, and it’s called wearing Crocs with socks.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

I want a girlfriend so she can make me do shit like pottery, and I act like I don’t want to go.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Next on Tiny Houses: A family of 6 moves into a boat emoji.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

When you split a dessert, the waiter should bring two forks and one of those chess clocks you smack to let the other person know it’s their turn.

Just shared via YouTube:

If a door closes, I’m just going to open it again.

Making waves on Instagram:

“Thank you for choosing Amtrak.” No problem. There are no other trains.

Going bananas on Threads:

Spoiler alert: Eventually you will pay a price for the way you treated people.

Making waves on WeChat:

Evenings after work finish too quickly, one meal, one show, and it’s already tomorrow morning.

Going viral on Instagram:

It triggers the little girl in me when I feel like I’m not being listened to when I’m talking.

Spotted on Telegram:

This is the fastest December in the history of all December.

Trending via TikTok:

“Fox Mulder” is an aggressively sexy name.

Trending via WeChat:

You can reach me by butterfly.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I have now spread out a blue tarpaulin in the garden. I want it to look like I have a pool on Google Maps.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The only way I’m gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Just once I’d like to buy a house plant that didn’t have the lifespan of a soap bubble.

I’ve been doing Dry January, but it’s literally just been my lips and skin.

Someone was saying that social media makes you miss out on your real life, but have you seen real life?

I wish rolling your eyes burned calories.

I wonder how much this “Never mind, it’s only 10 bucks” has already cost me?

Airports are the perfect place to see people who are experiencing their first day on Earth.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨