Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Me, to the printer: “Hey, could you print this out for me?” Printer: “Sure, but first I’ll show you all the sounds I can make.”
  • For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.
  • When they say screen time is bad for you, they just mean the ones at work, right?
  • Those guys holding fish in their dating profile pictures are just demonstrating how they’ll carry you over the threshold after marriage.
  • It always takes me an hour to get ready. 45 minutes for doing nothing and 15 hectic minutes for the rest.
  • ‘Blinded by the Light’ is really just a song about turning the bathroom light on in the middle of the night.