Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

People singing Happy Birthday to you feels like a real-life unskippable ad.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

I could be a morning person, if morning was sometime around noon.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Anyone who thinks office jobs are harmless has never cut their finger on paper.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Home Depot should allow men over 40 to have birthday parties in their stores.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

There should be 1 day a month without commercials.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

I need a break from me.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Thinking of starting a club for people who don’t like to leave their house. There are no meetings.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

People will be like “there is no right or wrong way to do it” until you do it the wrong way.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Pregnancy is crazy. You really come home with someone you don’t know, with no teeth.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,687

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Pinterest:

A designated hitter in baseball is the one who has to hit for everyone in case the team is drunk.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

Making waves on Pinterest:

If I delete a tweet, I should disappear with it.

Live now on Messenger:

I’m probably like this because I drank water from the hose.

Going viral on TikTok:

It’s Monday, but at what cost?

Shared recently on Messenger:

Lorebombing is when you make a new friend in your thirties and you have to catch each other up.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

It’s wild that “Jason” is a name from ancient Greece, because it sounds like it was invented in Florida in 1983.

Trending via Slack:

I need something good to watch while I’m on my phone.

Making waves on X:

Waking up early is cool until it starts feeling like you’ve had a long day at 10 a.m.

Making waves on Messenger:

“Can you multitask?” Yes, actually I am losing my mind and chilling at the same time.

The worst part about borrowing money is having to pay it back or move to a new city.

0
The worst part about borrowing money is having to pay it back or move to a new city.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the joys of modern life – debts or destinations! 🏦🏙️ Don't you just love the dilemma of either parting with your hard-earned cash or packing up your life in search of a debt-free haven? Decisions, decisions… 💸😂"

, , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Slack this month:

A recent study showed that people who are reading this text thought they were learning something useful.

70 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m not good at solving Pi, but I’m really good at eating it.

76 shares on Threads this month:

I am brilliantly social for one and a half hours, and then I need to recover in my bedroom cave for two days.

82 shares on Reddit this month:

Drinking a couple of beers and then getting onto Red Dead Redemption, and just petting my horse and feeding it apples.

99 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The world is my oyster and I’m allergic to shellfish.

31 shares on X this month:

If I got possessed demonically, I wouldn’t even notice it. With everything else I’ve got going on.

56 shares on Pinterest this month:

Whenever a study shows excessive screen time causes brain damage I’m like “yeah, me know”.

76 shares on Facebook this month:

Only in America can a kid wear $150 shoes, sip a $8 coffee, and post from a $1,200 phone about being oppressed and claiming capitalism has failed them.

55 shares on TikTok this month:

If a man says he’ll fix it, he will fix it. There’s no need to remind him every six months.

81 shares on Twitch this month:

No, it’s totally fine, Grandma. Nobody else needs to use the stairs today.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Are you ever so happy to be in bed, you wish you could be even more in bed than you already are?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Have you ever noticed that when you step on someone’s foot, they open their mouth? It’s like a folding trash can.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I believe in Bigfoot because Bigfoot believes in me.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

You should be allowed to call out of work if you have a really bad nightmare.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I always wait 3 minutes after each post for the applause to die down.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

As you get older, it’s amazing how fast bird-watching creeps up on you…

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Just bought 4 pounds of cherries like I’m in some math problem.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If I sing “Hello” and you think of “Lionel Richie” and not “Adele,” then you can probably predict the weather with one of your knees.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Men be like, “I want you.” Yeah, to suffer.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,481

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

If you find my upper lip mole sexy, wait till you see the dark spot on my MRI.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Christmas is the season of giving, and I’m giving up for good.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Drugs and alcohol take years off your life and give them to Keith Richards.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Returned my 3D printer, but not before making a 3D printer with it.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

I’m sorry for setting the impossible standards that the rest of you try to live up to.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Toddlers: I’ve licked everything so everything is mine now.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

In every imagination I have pictured myself in, I’m never poor.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

When old people say, “Long as you happy,” that means you’re pretty dumb.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Is it still murder if they said, “Some other time,” but I thought they said smother time?

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Trying to decide what to burn for dinner, so I can order pizza.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

A weekend in a log cabin with a hot tub sounds perfect right now.

Breaking via Facebook:

Photogenic people are magical. You could snap a pic of them mid- explosive diarrhea, and they’d still look good.

Making waves on TikTok:

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but throw away your disgusting dish sponge.

Just landed via Twitch:

I’m not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I’m in my 20s, but somehow I’m 16 and also 55 at the same time.

Just shared via Twitch:

I hate it when someone asks me what I did yesterday. I don’t know. Breathed a lot, probably got mad at something … sighed heavily. The list goes on.

Making waves on Twitch:

Starting a new show sucks. Who are these people?

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Days without shaking my head disapprovingly at myself: 0.

Seen just now on Slack:

You know you’re getting old when you get mad at some random car parked outside your house.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴