The worst part about borrowing money is having to pay it back or move to a new city.

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Remember you are dust and, after you send this email, to dust you shall return.

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Does running away from my problems count as cardio?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Tariff this, tariff that. When is somebody gonna tariff my clothes and kiss me?

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Me, as a therapist: “OMG, me too!”

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Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Long sandwiches should have suitcase handles.

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I slept like a baby, knowing I’m a burden to everyone around me.

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I wrote a book. It’s a murder mystery. You’re in it but only for the first couple of chapters.

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Yes, I’m full of microplastics, but it’s actually been helpful. It’s given me superpowers. I can communicate with Tupperware.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Why is the Formula 1 so afraid of rain? Just drive with more caution. That’s what I always do when it rains.