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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

I asked my doctor if I’m healthy enough for sex and he told me I’m not even sexy enough for health.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Took the road less travelled after buying the sat nav less expensive.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Things were better when the computer lived in its own specific room, and you only went in there sometimes.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

My wife had a dream that I have a secret second wife named Linda. Now, when she’s mad at me, I just say, “Linda wouldn’t get mad about that.”

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

I think I could actually generate electricity with how irritated I get sometimes.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Lady on the streets, Cheeto crumbs in my sheets.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Hello bedtime my old friend, my brain is laughing once again.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Obviously, I’m gonna upload pictures with filters and in my best angles. If you wanna see the ugly side of me, come to my house, but bring ice cream.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

The last time I said I wanted to try missionary, she sent me to a remote village in Africa.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,554

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Pinterest:

The algorithm knows about that thing you like that you’re denying yourself of.

Seen just now on Twitch:

They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

If life could stop teaching me lessons, that would be great.

Breaking via Facebook:

I can’t watch Sex and the City anymore, because I get really upset at how much money these ladies have.

Just landed via Instagram:

It’s way too easy to lie online. I was just telling Beyoncé about that the other day.

Making waves on Twitch:

I used to be a night owl, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more of a person who doesn’t function at any time.

Just shared via Facebook:

So crazy to just be living every day through the slow-motion car crash of escalating fascism, and it’s still like, “Aww, man, I have to go to the dentist.”

Going bananas on Telegram:

May your life one day be as beautiful as you portray it on social media.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Goodnight Outlook, goodnight Teams, goodnight Zoom.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

You could be having a nice day and then somebody your own age says they bought a house.

There should be 1 day a month without commercials.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
If only my remote control had an 'Evade Ads' button! 📺🚫😆

1, advertising, break, commercial, commercials, day, entertainment, humor, media, month, should, television

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Nothing more rude than taking a photo of yourself and it looking like how you actually look, and not how you look inside your head.

0

2 months ago

expectations, head, humor, inside, looking, nothing, perception, photo, reality, rude, self-image, selfie, truth, yourself
While a leaf blower is a close second, my preferred cleaner is a flamethrower.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, blower, cleaner, cleaning, close, exaggeration, flamethrower, humor, leaf, leaf blower, second, tools, unconventional, unconventional tools
Girls on their period: stay away from me; I need you.

0

5 months ago

away, girls, i, me, need, period, stay
Sorry I’m late — I was standing in the shower, thinking about stuff.

0

2 months ago

excuse, forgetfulness, humor, i, late, lateness, shower, sorry, standing, stuff, thinking
Did you know there are people who go away for 3 days and only pack 3 days’ worth of clothing?

0

2 months ago

away, clothing, days, funny observation, humor, know, minimalism, observation, packing, people, short, short trip, travel, trip, vacation, worth
Your twenties are for destroying and betraying yourself for nothing.

0

2 months ago

betraying, choices, crisis, destroying, existential, existential crisis, humor, life, life choices, nothing, self, twenty, yourself, youth

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on Threads this month:

Flirting back when you’re bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

24 shares on TikTok this month:

Every morning when that damn alarm clock goes off, I just feel it so much: A million-dollar inheritance suits me much better than an office job.

93 shares on Facebook this month:

This whole week could have been an email.

31 shares on WeChat this month:

The more I use social media, the more I see why children shouldn’t.

100 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I am so incredibly tired today. I think my shelf life has expired.

15 shares on Reddit this month:

Co-worker: You look so unapproachable. Me: Yet, here you are.

32 shares on Slack this month:

Wine drunk doesn’t even make itself known. You’re just relaxed, and then, all of a sudden, you feel sexier.

38 shares on Reddit this month:

Europeans read a lot because their television shows suck.

79 shares on Discord this month:

People who often talk to themselves are more intelligent than others. At least that’s what I tell myself.

78 shares on Instagram this month:

One minute you’re young and fun and the next, you need a tow out of a beanbag chair.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Getting a random boner is a bit funny. Like, what is it, boy? What do you see?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

The only reason to engage with a neighbor is if either of you is on fire.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Being strange is exhausting.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

“You’re under the weather?” We all are, idiot. It’s in the sky.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Human hibernation should be a thing.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

The best proof that fairy tales are fictional is the fact that the prince is always an intelligent and handsome single man.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Addicted to bad posture like why is it so comfortable to sit like a cooked shrimp.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Ping me if your boobs glow in the dark.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

My thighs are bigger than my chances in life.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

What kind of psychopath wants to be the life of the party?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

You realize you’re getting old when your body parts start fighting over which one hurts first.

Going viral on YouTube:

Online dating is stupid because scent is such an important factor of attraction.

Breaking via Facebook:

One week without chocolate. I can no longer hear anything in my left eye.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

If I had a dollar for every time I didn’t know what was going on, I’d be like, why am I always getting all this money?

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I’m a pocket full of sunshine, not your dumping ground for grumpiness.

Shared recently on Twitch:

That moment when rappers mispronounce a word just to make it rhyme.

Live now on Messenger:

I miss my kids the most when they go to bed and the mosquitoes go after me because they have no other options.

Spotted on WeChat:

Do we barbecue with women or without salad?

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I got bills. They’re multiplying.

Just landed via TikTok:

Ironically people who are good at giving advice find it difficult to follow their own.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

There should be 1 day a month without commercials.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Nothing more rude than taking a photo of yourself and it looking like how you actually look, and not how you look inside your head.

While a leaf blower is a close second, my preferred cleaner is a flamethrower.

Girls on their period: stay away from me; I need you.

Sorry I’m late — I was standing in the shower, thinking about stuff.

Did you know there are people who go away for 3 days and only pack 3 days’ worth of clothing?

Your twenties are for destroying and betraying yourself for nothing.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨