Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Girlfriend is temporary, ex-girlfriend is forever.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

What a strange day. And it has been for years.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

I’m willing to do anything for a job except write a cover letter.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

If you ever think English is not a weird language just remember that read and lead rhyme and read and lead rhyme. But read and lead don’t rhyme, and neither do read and lead.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Not to brag, but I can trip over things that aren’t even there!

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

“I’m not concerned about Netflix buying Warner Brothers. None of this will matter once we evolve gills and start living underwater.”

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

I can actually be quite charming if you would let me out of the guillotine.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

The inventor of archery: Man, I really wanna stab that guy over there.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

I love when the restaurant bathroom has different music playing than the restaurant. It’s like I’m going to Club Pee Pee.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,460

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

We all know that mirrors don’t lie. I’m just very grateful that they don’t laugh.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Jewelry stores should just be like: Whether you’re trying to be nice or trying to get laid, we got you covered.

Making waves on Instagram:

My five-year plan only requires a few acts of God.

Trending via Pinterest:

Don’t hate me, date me!

Breaking via WhatsApp:

*Pointing at a mothers shrieking baby* Is this guy bothering you?

Breaking via X:

“Don’t take this the wrong way!” Translation: Prepare for insult.

Breaking via X:

I can do anything, as long as there’s a looming deadline and serious consequences.

Spotted on Pinterest:

No president next term. America needs to be single for a while to focus on herself.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Welcome to adulthood. You have a favorite gas station now.

We need a holiday at the end of every summer that honours all the women who wore sundresses.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sundress Warriors Unite! 🌞👗 Respect to the breezy queens who keep summer stylish. 🎉🍹

celebration, end, every, fashion, holiday, humor, need, summer, sundress, woman, women

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Don’t judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.

2 months ago

awesome, confidence, humor, i, individuality, judge, me, perfect, self-acceptance
The older I get, the more I walk like Charlie Chaplin.

2 months ago

age, chaplin, charlie, Charlie Chaplin, comedy, getting, getting older, humor, i, older, physical, physical comedy, walk, walking
When life closes a door, just open it again. It’s a door, that’s how they work.

3 months ago

again, door, humor, just, life, logic, open, optimism, perspective, problem-solving, work
After having received my free sample of winter, I would like to cancel my subscription please.

2 months ago

after, cancel, cancel subscription, cold, cold weather, complaint, free, free sample, having, humor, i, sample, seasonal, seasonal complaint, subscription, weather, winter
No one trashes your name better than the person who is terrified that you are going to tell people the truth.

2 months ago

better, confrontation, fear, going, honesty, name, people, person, reputation, tell, terrified, trashing, truth
Anxiety should have a loyalty rewards program.

2 months ago

anxiety, health, humor, loyalty, mental, mental health, program, rewards, should, stress

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on Messenger this month:

The fastest mammal on earth is the smartass on the web.

82 shares on Pinterest this month:

Shade coming from a tree bearing no fruit could never phase me. Carry on.

76 shares on Discord this month:

Next time I die, I’m going to make sure I’m reincarnated someplace other than Earth.

93 shares on WeChat this month:

Every time I ask my husband to bring me something out of my purse, without a doubt, he’ll bring me my whole purse. Why are purses so scary to men, lol.

71 shares on Reddit this month:

So I got a call from a telemarketer, and he said he couldn’t understand me. I told him, “Press 1 for English.”

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

Netflix be like “we know exactly what movie you talkin’ ’bout but we ain’t got it lol”.

16 shares on Snapchat this month:

Good morning, did you have a nice weekend? I ask my many open work tabs.

89 shares on Instagram this month:

My hair dryer is so powerful that it doubles as my leaf blower.

11 shares on Reddit this month:

Everyone you don’t like in your personal and professional life is a narcissist.

21 shares on Telegram this month:

Shit posting is cheaper than therapy.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Washing machine minutes are not the same as regular minutes.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m just here to make you wish I wasn’t.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

When I learned the word “literally,” that was the beginning of the end.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

It’s our first time on Earth, so why are you a life coach?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Anyone want to fall in love and split rent?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

That looks like a problem for someone else.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

I don’t have a new year resolution, you don’t need that when you’re perfect.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

The cheapest way to fly is off the handle.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

I wasn’t feeling well so I googled my symptoms. I either have allergies or I died two days ago.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

A woman’s sigh can speak a 1000 words.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I read that Miley Cyrus will be starring in a remake of Silence of the Lambs. She’ll be playing Hannibal Montannibal.

Making waves on Telegram:

Was already at my breaking point, and then had to use the authenticator app.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

9-5 is really 10-2 if you’re working remote.

Just shared via Twitch:

Anyone know if we got the meek inheriting the Earth today?

Just landed via Threads:

I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.

Trending via WhatsApp:

You’d think the thing in my house with the most cat hair on it would be my cat.

Just landed via X:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Are you the one with commitment issues or the one with low self-worth?

Going bananas on Threads:

Your pronouns are “side/chick”.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Do vape shops and nail salons actually make money, or is my town’s economy one big laundering scheme?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

The end of Twitter is taking forever. Did Tolkien write this?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

We need a holiday at the end of every summer that honours all the women who wore sundresses.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Don’t judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.

The older I get, the more I walk like Charlie Chaplin.

When life closes a door, just open it again. It’s a door, that’s how they work.

After having received my free sample of winter, I would like to cancel my subscription please.

No one trashes your name better than the person who is terrified that you are going to tell people the truth.

Anxiety should have a loyalty rewards program.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨