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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

I prefer people who actually know what’s going on.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

I love sleeping. You don’t spend any money and you don’t miss anyone.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Opinions are like air fryers. Everyone’s got one and they won’t stop banging on about them.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Took a good look at my finances. I won’t make that mistake again.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Lost another rap battle by just agreeing with everything the other guy said.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Dad Hack: Get your teen’s attention instantly by pre-heating the oven.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to annoy the shit out of a beautiful man for the rest of my life.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Can I come over and crawl around on you like a bug?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next thing you know, you’re staring out of a window for no reason.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

When animals lead you to a place, it’s so cute… like, yes, I’m still following. Thank you for constantly turning around to make sure.

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2024 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,186

Funny Quotes Topics

14,938

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12,186

1 minute ago

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

Coming back to your own bed after a few days away is peak coziness.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Anyone who thinks office jobs are harmless has never cut their finger on paper.

Reported on Threads:

Your honor, I have a role to play as the black sheep of the family.

Live now on Pinterest:

What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

You are allowed to be crazy as long as you are equally as hot.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

One day my kids will move out and discover the dishes don’t clean themselves and I feel for them. I really do.

Just landed via Instagram:

Just did a seductive hair flip and an onion ring flew out.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Tell your dog I said woof woof.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

You’d be surprised how many times you can use the word succulent in a work email.

Welcome to your late 40s! From now on you will no longer be in “good health” but in “good health for your age”.

6 months ago

Welcome to your late 40s! From now on you will no longer be in “good health” but in “good health for your age”.

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Commentary:
Ah, late 40s – the golden age of "good health for your age" accolades! 🎉 Embrace the wisdom that comes with knowing all the best stretches for back pain and the perfect anti-aging skincare routine. Just remember, at this stage, wrinkles are just laughter lines in disguise! 😉 #AgingLikeFineWine

40s, acceptance, age, aging, good, good health, health, humor, late, late 40s, life, life stages, longer, stages, welcome

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2024 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,186

Funny Quotes Topics

14,938

Funny Quotes Images

12,186

1 minute ago

3,440

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

I don’t wish anyone strife in their relationship but I do wish my neighbors would enunciate a little more when they fight so I can hear better.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Love those deep burps that instantly make me feel like I lost 10 lbs.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Nobody sighs louder than an unemployed, debt-free dog who spends at least 16 hours a day sleeping.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Not just anyone can be cremated. You have to urn it.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

There should be a tented fingers emoji. For when you’re feeling ruminative.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

My body’s check engine light has been on for years.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Only mosquitoes find me attractive. Nobody else.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Common sense isn’t a gift. It’s a punishment, because you have to deal with everyone who doesn’t have it.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes and was performed by the child sitting behind me on a flight from LA to Tokyo.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

LinkedIn: where you desperately hope that one idiot you had a drink with six years ago can somehow help get you a job.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Slack:

Sunrises are really beautiful, but the timing is rather bad.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I can usually cope with the opinions of others because I don’t listen.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Bro, you’re fine. You just need an impossible sequence of events to play out in perfect order against all odds and you’ll be fine.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Zoom is really only for one thing: realizing our dream of staring at ourselves while talking to other people.

Spotted on Telegram:

People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like, I want abs, but I need chocolate.

Trending via Slack:

My mother told me there is a girl for me in every corner of the earth, but unfortunately the earth is round.

Live now on Instagram:

Washing mushrooms is the quickest way to figure out exactly how much dirt you’re okay with eating.

Shared recently on Twitch:

My secret talent is turning any situation into a considerably more awkward one.

Spotted on Snapchat:

The only way to my heart is with a knife.

Just shared via X:

Hey girl, do you like my signals? I mixed them myself.

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