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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Stop avoiding your banking app. Go look at what you’ve done.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

I’m having a bad day. Please send super-cute pics of your credit cards to cheer me up.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Fun prank: make people study for many years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

I am not responsible for what my face does when you talk.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Might lay here until someone draws my chalk outline.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Yes, liquor store clerk, I do need help. But I decided to come here instead.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

According to this box of macaroni and cheese, I am an entire family.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Note to self: Very important! First hang up, then insult.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2384 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,546

Funny Quotes Topics

15,226

Funny Quotes Images

12,546

Updated

8 minutes ago

Users Online

3,449

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

A selfie only a mother could like.

Just shared via Instagram:

The volume of my TV is 100% dependent on what I’m currently chewing on.

Going viral on Slack:

Italians, look away now. I break my spaghetti in half before I cook it.

Reported on WhatsApp:

Saw someone from high school. She said she hadn’t seen me in years. That’s likely because I’d always seen her first.

Just shared via YouTube:

Sometimes it’s the conversations you have with yourself that take the longest.

Freshly posted on X:

I have entirely too many new bruises for someone who isn’t getting laid.

Going viral on Threads:

Thinking about ignoring daily mess by creating new holiday decor mess.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

My card declined at Subway and they started eating the sandwich in front of me.

Going viral on TikTok:

Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you wanted.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Marriage is scary, what if he doesn’t want our house to look like my Pinterest board.

When you look this sexy, they should let you leave work early.

When you look this sexy, they should let you leave work early.
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Commentary:
Trying to leave work early because I look too good and my coworkers can't handle the distraction 😎💼🚪

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2384 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,546

Funny Quotes Topics

15,226

Funny Quotes Images

12,546

Updated

8 minutes ago

Users Online

3,465

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

I wish I had a pair of skinny genes.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

I thrive in a waiting room. You need me to sit in a chair and look at my phone? No worries, love, I do this at home.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Interviewer: “What did you learn from your previous job?” Me: “That I need a new job.”

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Caveman bartender: “This one’s on the cave.”

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

People call me a “Trekkie,” but I’m not. I’ve only seen Star Wars a couple of times.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Celebrating President’s Day by not doing anything I promised I would.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Going to the beach is 99% getting ready for the beach and 1% enjoying the beach.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Interrupt my sleep and I’ll interrupt your breathing.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

I wish I had the free time of someone who leaves a positive Amazon review for a rake.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

How did we decide to go with cockpit?

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WeChat:

Last time I laid on his chest, I heard girls in there laughing at me.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I’ve reached the conclusion that all men love thigh high stockings.

Trending via Threads:

I have some fart jokes I’ve been holding in.

Shared recently on X:

Men used to build castles for women they love, but now they think replying on time is too much effort.

Just shared via WeChat:

Friends with no kids are like: Want to go to New Zealand this Friday?

Trending via WhatsApp:

My secret talent is turning any situation into a considerably more awkward one.

Seen just now on X:

I can’t believe Halloween was 10 pounds ago.

Seen just now on Twitch:

My parents often told me I would lose my own head if it wasn’t screwed on and now that I’m an adult, I want to know what tools I need to have it screwed off.

Trending via WeChat:

Remember when movies felt real, and foreheads could wrinkle.

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