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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Hello taxi, off to Friday please. Money doesn’t matter!

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Unlocking new levels of iron deficiency.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

My stomach just made the exact sound of the “your” in “your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice messaging system.”

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Accidentally turned my clocks back too far and ended up at a Wham concert.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Cheating on an exam by memorizing all the content beforehand so I can easily answer the questions.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

If you catch me smiling at you, chances are I am plotting my revenge.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Stereotypes are like mass graves. They’re both offensive ways to lump groups of people together.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,909

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I don’t know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up.

Live now on TikTok:

I wish my hair had as much volume as my mouth.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Bedrotting is so nice. Just lying in bed, using your phone comfortably.

Live now on Facebook:

I just want everyone to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The sole purpose of your child’s middle name… is so they know when they’re really in trouble.

Going viral on Instagram:

Women are like a fitted sheet. No matter what you do or how hard you try, they just never seem to cooperate.

Going viral on TikTok:

The husband, child, and dog are all snoring. WTF is this?

Why do fruit flies be everywhere but at the supermarket? Ain’t that like their Golden Corral?

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess they prefer fine dining to all-you-can-eat! 🍎🍇🪰

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I had an irrational fear of bees until I saw My Girl and it became rational.

1 month ago
bees, comedy, fear, girl, humor, i, irrational, movy, My Girl, rational, saw
Of course, my summer body is ready; it’s the same as my winter body but sweatier.

1 month ago
body, body image, course, fitness, fitness joke, humor, image, joke, ready, same, sarcasm, self-deprecating, summer, summer body, summer humor, sweat, winter, winter body, winter humor
Tonight, the moon is staring at me.

1 month ago
humor, me, moon, night, personification, stare, staring, tonight
“Help us improve Instagram!” Nice try, fix your own damn website.

1 month ago
fix, frustration, help, humor, improve, Instagram, media, nice, own, sarcasm, social, social media, tech, try, us, website
Group projects taught me how to do everything alone and trust no one.

1 month ago
alone, collaboration, everything, frustration, group, group project, humor, independence, learning, me, project, solo, taught, teamwork, trust
Your soulmate wouldn’t do you like that, by the way.

3 months ago
betrayal, dating, humor, love, relationship, soulmate

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

If my son ever came out as gay, I’d be so furious. Furious that he never gave me fashion advice.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

I named my wifi “The Promised LAN” because it always connects, but occasionally leaves you wandering in the desert looking for a better signal.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

A weighted blanket isn’t enough today, I need to be compressed into a zip-file.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

My whole life, I never read a warning label telling me not to eat laundry detergent or put glue in my hair, somehow I just knew.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

IP address? You mean the bathroom?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Divorcing my wife to focus on my porn addiction.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

Seems like being an asshole is a full-time job for some.

Just shared via Threads:

Having a car is crazy cause you gotta take it to the car doctor.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Sometimes people come into your life — and they need to stop doing that.

Going viral on Facebook:

I accidentally said “large” instead of “venti” at Starbucks and now the cops are here.

Seen just now on YouTube:

My husband loves when we fight, and I turn it into a limited series called And Another Thing.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Playing dumb for five minutes often saves a lot of work.

Seen just now on Telegram:

So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.

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Activity Log ✨

Why do fruit flies be everywhere but at the supermarket? Ain’t that like their Golden Corral?

I had an irrational fear of bees until I saw My Girl and it became rational.

Of course, my summer body is ready; it’s the same as my winter body but sweatier.

Tonight, the moon is staring at me.

Your soulmate wouldn’t do you like that, by the way.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

“Pre” means before, and “post” means after. Using both at the same time would be preposterous.

When I’m done eating… I have to show my hands to my cat, like I’m a blackjack dealer.

I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.

What must a pancake think when it’s being flipped? Doubtless something jolly.

The only reason I’d want to go to heaven is to complain to the manager.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Awkward is the new sexy. At least that’s what I’m telling myself, so I don’t cry in front of strangers.

Breakfast in bed: where your cozy blanket turns into a crumby crime scene.

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here looking at soup recipes.

It’s the weekend, so naturally, I’m going to spend 48 hours doing nothing, and still be exhausted.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Cake hits so much harder off a plastic fork.

Nothing says “not interested” quite like a Restraining Order.

The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

Warning: not watching the news may lead to a heightened sense of joy, security, and optimism.

Expecting your first baby’s exciting, but have you ever ordered a new coffee machine?

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Follow your dreams – ideally in a field that will still require humans when you graduate.

Name a better duo than sad and depressed.

If you would just let me help, you’d be in an even worse position than you are now.

I’m intermittent fasting, so I have to finish this cake really quick before 6 pm.

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Why do fruit flies be everywhere but at the supermarket? Ain’t that like their Golden Corral?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I had an irrational fear of bees until I saw My Girl and it became rational.

Of course, my summer body is ready; it’s the same as my winter body but sweatier.

Tonight, the moon is staring at me.

“Help us improve Instagram!” Nice try, fix your own damn website.

Group projects taught me how to do everything alone and trust no one.

Your soulmate wouldn’t do you like that, by the way.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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