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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Can’t. I’m busy taking this Buzzfeed quiz to find out what kind of potato I am.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Just found out my 84-year-old neighbour is on his own tomorrow, so I’ve just been over to collect his spare chairs to borrow.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

My hair would never allow me to commit a crime. I really do leave my DNA everywhere.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

I thought being an adult meant cake for breakfast, not budgeting for therapy.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

I’m like if a birthday card with no money inside was a person.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Perhaps the most universal American experience is your mom being like, “Wasn’t he such a good dentist? He’s in prison now.”

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

For Christmas, I’d like to be understood.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

How long past date can I eat eggs? Like are they still good or am I naming them now?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

298 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,567

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,567

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,509

Social Media Log 💫

Worst part about job hunting is knowing you don’t want one.

6 months ago

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Commentary:
Job hunting: the ultimate game of hide and seek where you're the seeker in denial 🤦‍♂️🔍💼

dislike, employment, frustration, humor, hunting, job, job hunting, knowing, want, work, worst

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I like my mornings to be slow and quiet. I want the day to romance me a bit before it tries to mess me up.

2 months ago

before, bit, day, i, me, mess, mess up, morning, mornings, quiet, romance, slow, want
I put on my Godzilla costume, then go to the miniature golf course to beat up the windmill.

2 months ago

activity, beat, costume, course, creative, fun, fun activity, Godzilla, golf, humor, i, miniature, miniature golf, playful, put, quirky, windmill
Waffles are just pancakes with convenient boxes to hold your syrup.

3 months ago

breakfast, convenience, culinary, food, food humor, hold, humor, just, pancake, pancakes, syrup, waffle
I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

2 months ago

confusion, Earth, humans, humor, i, know, put, Salesforce, technology, think, unnatural
The trick of life is to get the sports car before you have to grunt getting in and out of it.

2 months ago

aging, before, car, enjoyment, fun, getting, getting in, getting out, humor, life, priorities, sports, sports car, trick
My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

2 months ago

dating, existence, girlfriend, God, humor, humorist, irony, love, me, needs, neglect, only, relationship, sarcasm, something, treats, unrequited, unrequited love

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on Threads this month:

Going from summer clothes to winter clothes: “Okay!” Going from winter clothes to summer clothes: “I AM NOT READY!”

28 shares on WeChat this month:

Terrible things can happen if you go camping. For starters, you could want to go camping again.

67 shares on Pinterest this month:

You’re an adult. You can do what you want. Wait…You have kids? Never mind.

42 shares on Discord this month:

If you talk about astrology, and no one stops you, it means you must be incredibly pretty.

76 shares on Threads this month:

I ran out of toilet paper so I had to start using old newspapers. The Times are rough.

46 shares on TikTok this month:

If we were subway rats, I’d share my pizza crust with you.

96 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s not even a crush. it’s just unsupervised hope.

85 shares on Messenger this month:

Being called ‘my love’ is probably the cutest thing, like yes, that’s me. I’m the one you love. I’m the only one you love. I’m your love. Say it again.

47 shares on Slack this month:

I’m exactly where I want to be. At home, avoiding people.

74 shares on TikTok this month:

Worst feeling in the world is when you are loyal to all your girlfriends but your favorite one is cheating on you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Saw an article on “100 things to do before you die.” Was surprised Call 911 didn’t make the list.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

I do not want to have a career. I want to sit on the porch.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

If you want to know who the bad guys are, it is the side who wants you arrested for memes and jokes.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

If you comment to say “No comment,” you have, in fact, commented.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

I hope this email finds you at relative peace with the paradox of existence.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Who’s going to run in movies when Tom Cruise retires?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Texting my boss from the job I got laid off from 5 months ago and telling him I have diarrhea.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Can we start the weekend again? I wasn’t ready.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

You are allowed to be crazy as long as you are equally as hot.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

The most productive species of beaver is the Eager.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

Is it ‘My wife and I’ or ‘Me and my wife’? Anyway, we just robbed a liquor store.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I’ve tasted being the bigger person, I’ve also tasted matching energy. I recommend no contact.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’m so hungry, I could eat my own cooking.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Diet Coke is just a fridge cigarette.

Just landed via Slack:

Trying to be cute today but my face isn’t cooperating.

Just landed via Threads:

Unknown numbers will call me, then expect me to talk first. Welcome to the breathing competition.

Just shared via Slack:

Every frozen pizza is a canvas that needs an artist’s touch.

Just landed via Facebook:

Sometimes being alive feels like being a pornstar who is asexual.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Currently helping my husband look for his $20 I spent yesterday.

Just shared via Messenger:

Did you know that if you listen to any Black Sabbath album backwards, you can hear them singing backwards?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Worst part about job hunting is knowing you don’t want one.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I like my mornings to be slow and quiet. I want the day to romance me a bit before it tries to mess me up.

I put on my Godzilla costume, then go to the miniature golf course to beat up the windmill.

Waffles are just pancakes with convenient boxes to hold your syrup.

I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

The trick of life is to get the sports car before you have to grunt getting in and out of it.

My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨