Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

One day there will be condoms with Bluetooth that tell you whether you’re good in bed, how many calories you’ve burned and when the next train leaves.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

I’m doing a terrific job of not getting anything done today.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Wishing all the contacts in my phone “Merry Christmas, I hope you get what you deserve” and just letting that work itself out.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

I told my psychiatrist I’ve been hearing voices lately. He told me I don’t have a psychiatrist.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

At some point, my colleagues will manage to get me my own true crime documentary on Netflix.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

I love Pinterest. No opinions. No bad vibes. Just pretty pictures.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

I wasn’t feeling well so I googled my symptoms. I either have allergies or I died two days ago.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Typos is the Greek god of spelling errors.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Everyone hates drama, yet somehow the tabloids remain in business.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

My wife and I always eat dinner as fast as possible so we can have a popsicle.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,354

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Sometimes you just gotta say LOL and move on.

Making waves on TikTok:

How do you tell someone that you will probably end up marrying them, but in a casual way?

Making waves on WeChat:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean that it ain’t gonna be a hell of a lot of fun.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I wanna marry someone funnier than me, but sadly, I am the funniest.

Going viral on Slack:

My new drivers license arrived and when I opened it, I gasped. How’d they get a picture of my mother?

Live now on Reddit:

Beer is like the color black: it goes with everything.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I deserve a dragon after all I’ve been through.

Just shared via Telegram:

Our parents were right all along, the music is too loud.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Absolutely destroyed my bed last night… I cuddled those covers so hard.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

“Why do I feel like shit all the time?” I ask myself, while staring into the flashlight that tells me bad news.

Yeah, the planet is dying. The government hates us. The animals are leaving. The aliens aren’t contacting us. We might be alone. It just might be you and me.

1 month ago

Witty text reflecting existential humor about Earth’s chaos and solitude.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like it's just you, me, and endless reruns of "Earth's Got Problems." 🌍🍿😂

alien, aliens, alone, animal, animals, dying, existential, government, humor, just, leaving, loneliness, me, planet, relationship, us

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Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Instagram this month:

Having a job ruined my life.

20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Every time you give someone the benefit, they deliver the doubt.

22 shares on Telegram this month:

You don’t need to leave a message in a bottle. If the bottle is full of tequila, I’ll get the message.

16 shares on Reddit this month:

A credit card is kind of like a gift card to every store.

80 shares on WeChat this month:

Imagine hating me and I’m just here trying to push a door that says pull.

74 shares on Telegram this month:

I really understand why boomers text with ellipses between everything… it feels so good…

41 shares on Snapchat this month:

Going down a rabbit hole if anyone wants anything.

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

In my culture, family is completely unimportant. And we hate food.

40 shares on Reddit this month:

Every weekend has two days: Saturday and It’s Monday Tomorrow.

65 shares on WeChat this month:

I look so pretty today. I should go for a walk and let the people enjoy this.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

If you saw me licking the plate after the charcuterie was finished, no you didn’t.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Being alone is my favourite way of being.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

I’ve started dating myself exclusively but it’s not working out.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

My new diet plan is to hibernate and live off all this fat I’ve accumulated.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Am I the only person who hates spending the night at someone’s place? Like, we can hang out until 3 a.m., but I’m still going home.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

The way people who are really into each other look moments before kissing is so hot. It’s like seeing a glimpse of cannibalism.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

My car spider built a web across my steering wheel and now I can’t go anywhere.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

I’ve had so much tea trying to get rid of this cold that I’m now speaking with a British accent and am fascinated with the Royal family.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Some people feel like unpaid actors in my sitcom called “What Fresh Chaos Is This?”

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

If you give me a serious answer to a silly question, I’m giving you a wedgie.

Going bananas on Telegram:

We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Let me seduce you with my knowledge on useless things.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Going to the beach the day after watching Jaws hits different.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Grown men asking Grok if this is real.

Spotted on WeChat:

I’m having an orange, and the dogs keep looking at me like, “stop eating that ball, dude.”

Shared recently on Twitch:

When Hulk wrecks shit he’s “incredible.” When I do it I’m “causing a scene” and “need to leave this place immediately.”

Just landed via Slack:

“We’re the only species that drinks milk after infancy, dairy is bad for you!” We’re also the only species that drinks peach mango pineapple spirulina kale smoothies, Karen. Let me eat my cheese in peace.

Trending via Threads:

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

Seen just now on Discord:

I don’t even get disappointed anymore. I’m just like, “Oh, again? Okay.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Yeah, the planet is dying. The government hates us. The animals are leaving. The aliens aren’t contacting us. We might be alone. It just might be you and me.

Rather than work on my issues, I’m counting on my personality getting changed by a falling coconut.

“Kiss From a Rose” makes you think Batman Forever is the most romantic movie ever made.

My life started becoming a mess when I was put in charge of my own bedtime.

Why would I want a memory pillow? Sleep is where I go to forget.

Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.

“You’re a psychopath!” At least I’m on a path, babe, sort your life out.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Yeah, the planet is dying. The government hates us. The animals are leaving. The aliens aren’t contacting us. We might be alone. It just might be you and me.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Rather than work on my issues, I’m counting on my personality getting changed by a falling coconut.

“Kiss From a Rose” makes you think Batman Forever is the most romantic movie ever made.

My life started becoming a mess when I was put in charge of my own bedtime.

Why would I want a memory pillow? Sleep is where I go to forget.

Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.

“You’re a psychopath!” At least I’m on a path, babe, sort your life out.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨