Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Only here for the honeymoon phase, don’t show me your true colors.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

No camera can do justice to a landscape that melts your heart.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Why would I take the high road when I could take the psychopath?

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

If I was a microplastic, I would simply not go in the ocean or anyone’s mouth.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Sex is like my hair. I didn’t have any yesterday. I didn’t have any today. And unless something drastically changes, I won’t have any tomorrow.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Schrodinger’s Immigrant: A person who is simultaneously too lazy to work, but is also stealing your job.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

I’m gonna get my vasectomy done at Home Depot like a real man.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Women will brag about their intuition, and then date a DJ.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

This gum has my stomach convinced food is coming.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,545

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Telegram:

I’m so glad when summer is over and I finally don’t have to see any feet on the internet anymore.

Going bananas on WeChat:

The most I’ve ever spent on a bottle of wine is about 45 minutes.

Trending via Pinterest:

My washing machine is over here taking load after load, like Bonnie Blue.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Don’t buy roses for her, buy chicken nuggets. Show her you really care.

Trending via Reddit:

Kinda miss being a child and wondering why the moon follows me.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I be like, “Awwwww cows,” and then go and eat two double cheeseburgers, lol.

Trending via Facebook:

Calling a lobotomy a “lobobo” to fit in with Gen Z.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Where did you come from, Where did you go, Where did you come from, Pokémon Go.

Spotted on Threads:

I’m a kid at heart and a senior citizen at my knees and back.

Just shared via TikTok:

Twitter is cigarette for the eyes.

You tell people you’re not trying to drink and they act like you just turned down 100k.

5 days ago

Witty quote about how refusing drinks is met with exaggerated surprise and humor.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🤣 "When you decline that drink like a boss and suddenly everyone is questioning your life choices! Who knew sobriety could be in such high demand? It's like you just declined a winning lottery ticket! 💰 Cheers to being a party pooper, I mean, responsible adult! 🥤 #LifeChoices"

act, drink, expectation, humor, just, money, people, pressure, rejection, response, social, social pressure, tell, trying, turned

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Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on YouTube this month:

Sorry for zoning out, bro. It’s just, I’ve been having a bad day for several years.

59 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I believe the IRS is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

26 shares on Reddit this month:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly. Because communication is key.

44 shares on Snapchat this month:

No show does a misunderstanding / miscommunication plot better than Modern Family does.

51 shares on Discord this month:

The retirement age needs to be lowered to 40, I’ve had enough.

10 shares on Slack this month:

Nothing more humbling than being at a karaoke birthday party with a bunch of singers.

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My fridge turns into a food retirement home, as soon as I buy groceries.

23 shares on Reddit this month:

I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

29 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m so toxic, I can fight for a relationship I don’t even want.

69 shares on Threads this month:

I support robot taxis. How else are robots supposed to get around?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

A good audiobook will have you inventing chores to do.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The more I use social media, the more I see why children shouldn’t.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Be the one that gets asked to remove the hockey mask, during a conference call, on Friday the 13th.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I like people who make me forget that I’m shy.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I suppose someone has to do all the consuming and obeying.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t get how alcohol turns y’all evil. I just start giggling and get slutty.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I love one-pot recipes. So much less mess than when I was trying to cook things without a pot.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

No, I’m not stressed. I just constantly grind my teeth and clench my jaw for fun.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Got a new Roomba but keeping the old one to see if I can get them to fight.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

How did they get kids to pose for oil paintings? Mine won’t sit still for 4 seconds for a family photo.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,702

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Normalize arguing with plants who refuse to stay alive.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Just got some minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

As a childless adult, it is my duty to embrace hobbies and pastimes that my peers cannot, as they have sacrificed their free time to maintain the population. I must vibe and chill, and do fun things, in their honor.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Parenting just means you have to pretend you like to eat fruits and vegetables in front of your kids, knowing you’d rather eat a cheeseburger instead.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it’s like a circus in my head.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Steve Jobs was a vibe coder. He just prompted Steve Wozniak.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

The goth urge to live in a haunted Victorian estate and be feared by the townspeople.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

The Titanic is a great lesson of why “just the tip” can get you into a whole lot of trouble.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Turns out, “unc” is short for unconstitutional.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

My morning routine is basically just me convincing myself not to go back to bed.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

After having received my free sample of winter, I would like to cancel my subscription please.

Spotted on Facebook:

Imagine hating me and i’m just over here doing a much better job at hating myself than any of y’all could do.

Spotted on Instagram:

“Are you seeing anyone,” like hallucinating?

Seen just now on Slack:

Might start signing off emails with, “But what do I know.”

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Old people understand Roman numerals. I for one.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Been there, done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I need to get my shit together, but at this point, I’m waiting to see if the world is going to end before I put any real effort in.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s like 7 years in a row now.

Seen just now on X:

At my age, this “microsleep” can sometimes last hours.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I don’t get how alcohol turns y’all evil. I just start giggling and get slutty.

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