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Commentary:
🤣 "When you decline that drink like a boss and suddenly everyone is questioning your life choices! Who knew sobriety could be in such high demand? It's like you just declined a winning lottery ticket! 💰 Cheers to being a party pooper, I mean, responsible adult! 🥤 #LifeChoices"

act, drink, expectation, humor, just, money, people, pressure, rejection, response, social, social pressure, tell, trying, turned

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Watching someone else control the computer and doing it differently than you would, is one of life’s greatest challenges.

1 month ago

challenge, challenges, computer, control, differently, doing, else, frustration, humor, life, someone, watch, watching
“I’m great at saving money, as long as I don’t go anywhere, see anyone, or open my eyes.”

4 months ago

anyone, anywhere, avoiding, avoiding people, distancing, eyes, great, home, humor, i, introvert, money, open, people, saving, saving money, social, social distancing, staying, staying home
I’m so bored, I’m gonna join a poly-relationship and stage a coup and kick the main one out.

1 month ago

activity, bored, coup, fun, fun activity, humor, joke, kick, main, main one, poly-relationship, stage
I was in Paris with a boyfriend once and he lit a candle in Notre Dame in order to ask God to raise the price of Bitcoin.

2 months ago

Bitcoin, boyfriend, candle, dame, funny moment, God, humor, i, lit, moment, notre, Notre Dame, order, Paris, price, relationship, request
If rich people aren’t upset after an election, then we have failed.

1 month ago

after, election, failed, failure, humor, people, person, politics, rich, rich person, satire, upset
The season is back when women are 80% scarf.

2 months ago

accessory, back, fashion, humor, scarf, season, style, women

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

You’d seriously think I was wanted for murder by the way I react when someone knocks on the door.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

People who ask “Can I call you” are so sweet. Like, obviously you cannot, but so sweet.

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IKEA is the swedish word for “relationship meltdown in a public place.”

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Authenticity is whispered, but bullshit is broadcasted.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

True luxury is sleeping until you wake up by yourself.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Stop telling people to grow up. Have you seen adults?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Some people shop for designer heels. I shop for nonstop flight deals.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Can I come over and circle you like a vulture?

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Need someone to feed me Doritos while I read, so I don’t mess up the pages. No weirdos.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Real lovers are currently single, by the way.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Doctors are always giving me Ibuprofen. Man, give me something I can sell.

Just shared via Snapchat:

The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

Going viral on TikTok:

Why is everyone mean to the kindest people for absolutely no reason?

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Activity Log ✨

You tell people you’re not trying to drink and they act like you just turned down 100k.

Watching someone else control the computer and doing it differently than you would, is one of life’s greatest challenges.

I’m so bored, I’m gonna join a poly-relationship and stage a coup and kick the main one out.

I was in Paris with a boyfriend once and he lit a candle in Notre Dame in order to ask God to raise the price of Bitcoin.

If rich people aren’t upset after an election, then we have failed.

The season is back when women are 80% scarf.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Thank you for the opportunity but I don’t think being human is a good fit for me. I’m going to go back to school to become an octopus.

“Well, at least things can’t get any worse” has turned out to be a failure of my imagination.

Whoever named frogs got it 100% right. Those things are frogs.

When I tell a joke that doesn’t land, I follow up with a worse one to make my audience realize how good they had it with the first joke.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I go to tattoo parlors and trick them into shaving my leg for me, and then leave.

Walmart was wild as hell today, so I fit right in.

The sexual tension between me and the alternate reality I daydream about.

Don’t forget to be mean to strangers on the internet today, for no reason whatsoever.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I need a leaf blower, but for people.

Your honor, I have a role to play as the black sheep of the family.

If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Starting tomorrow whatever life throws at me, I’m ducking so it hits someone else.

Always tell people different stories about yourself, so when they talk about you, they’ll argue.

Turns out my superpower is the ability to go into incredible detail in completely the wrong direction.

Good news: I set an all time high today! Bad news: It’s my cholesterol.

Yes, hello, I’d like to exchange my generational trauma for generational wealth, please.

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You tell people you’re not trying to drink and they act like you just turned down 100k.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Watching someone else control the computer and doing it differently than you would, is one of life’s greatest challenges.

“I’m great at saving money, as long as I don’t go anywhere, see anyone, or open my eyes.”

I’m so bored, I’m gonna join a poly-relationship and stage a coup and kick the main one out.

I was in Paris with a boyfriend once and he lit a candle in Notre Dame in order to ask God to raise the price of Bitcoin.

If rich people aren’t upset after an election, then we have failed.

The season is back when women are 80% scarf.

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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