Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Be the nonsense you wish to see in the world.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

It’s generally a good idea to start punching and throwing elbows immediately upon waking up because there may be enemies nearby.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

I just need a day between everyday… to recover from the day before… just so I can prepare for the day coming.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Deleting my mental health to focus on social media.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

I’m so introverted, I only listen to house music.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

These quiet electric cars are really annoying. I have to stop scrolling and look up while walking outside now.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

We’ve all at least once caught our toes when putting on our knickers and jumped around the room like idiots.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

If you ever have a crush on someone and want it to end, listen to a podcast they are on.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Nightmares are so embarrassing. Why is my anxiety working the night shift?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Can’t, I’m pulling it together.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

Twitter is basically a psychiatric ward where all the patients diagnose each other.

Just shared via WeChat:

They should invent a political party that doesn’t suck.

Making waves on Messenger:

Due to rising prices, Dollar Tree is changing their name to ‘Tree Fiddy’.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I am the opposite of artificial intelligence. I am authentic stupidity.

Seen just now on Twitch:

And to my grandchildren, I leave my unread PDFs.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I tried to embrace my flaws. They filed a restraining order.

Spotted on Threads:

Taking a Hooters waitress on a date to a different Hooters on her night off.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

One of the worst ways to waste your youth is by being insecure.

Just shared via YouTube:

I’m dying for some sweets and the only thing sweet in the house is me.

Going bananas on WeChat:

For someone who is afraid of failure, I’m very unmotivated.

A hostile alien invasion sounds like a nice change of pace.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like finally something to spice up my calendar! 🤖🌌👾

alien, alien invasion, change, change of pace, hostile, humor, invasion, nice, pace, sarcasm, sounds

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Only money has the right to say “you’ll regret losing me”. The rest of you calm down.

0

2 months ago

calm, losing, me, money, only, priorities, regret, rest, right, say, value
Technically mixed martial arts can include tickle fighting.

0

2 months ago

activity, arts, fighting, humor, martial, mixed, mixed martial arts, sports, tickle, tickle fighting
I will unfriend, uncousin, unco-worker, unfollow, unfamily any draining soul real quick.

0

2 months ago

boundary, draining, humor, i, media, quick, real, self-care, social, social media, soul, unco-worker, uncousin, unfamily, unfollow, unfriend
I hate it when I imagine how a conversation will go and then in the actual conversation the person goes off script. That’s not your line, man.

0

2 months ago

conversation, expectations, frustration, hate, humor, i, imagine, interaction, line, man, person, planning, script, social, social interaction, spontaneity
My running speed is very slow because the Discman wasn’t allowed to shake in the past.

0

2 months ago

Discman, exercise, humor, nostalgia, past, running, shake, slow, speed, technology
If you need me, I will be at the library sniffing old books.

0

2 months ago

activity, book, book lover, books, fun, fun activity, hobby, humor, i, library, lover, me, need, old, old book, quirky, quirky hobby, sniffing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Reddit this month:

My teenager has really expensive taste for someone who can’t afford to buy their own toothpaste.

83 shares on YouTube this month:

I could win awards for having a bad memory. In fact, I probably did. How would I know.

87 shares on YouTube this month:

You know it’s bad when people start telling you that you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

100 shares on Reddit this month:

I march to the beat of my own dumb.

84 shares on YouTube this month:

This Monday could have been an email.

43 shares on Discord this month:

So many people say they love their Roomba, but you never see them set it free.

62 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I fall in love with a song and play it until I absolutely don’t wanna hear it no more.

10 shares on Pinterest this month:

Why make new mistakes when you can keep repeating the same old familiar ones.

14 shares on Facebook this month:

Elsa froze her entire kingdom instead of dealing with her feelings. I respect that level of avoidance.

64 shares on Slack this month:

Speed dating, but it’s just me changing tables at a restaurant every few minutes trying a bite of everyone’s food.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Therapy isn’t gonna cut it, I need vengeance.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

My gf doesn’t really like it when I talk about my ex, which means I now have a lot of stories from college where I’m just alone for some reason.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

It’s scary when an attractive person is attracted to you, omg.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Every time I leave the house, I’m reminded why sweatpants exist.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

I would describe my personal style as whatever is on top of the pile of clothes on the floor.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

At my funeral, sit me up so I can see who’s talking to my man.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Am I just getting older, or are people getting more annoying?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Rich people go to parties. It’s what they do, and somehow we must all watch videos of it.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Crying at my desk while also finding time to cry in the shower makes for a healthy work-life balance.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not having a midlife crisis, you’re just awake.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I don’t think I’ve ever made the right amount of pasta.

Spotted on Twitch:

They probably killed the first few people whose eyes turned red in a photograph before they realized it wasn’t any demon stuff.

Live now on Reddit:

I logged on to Amazon and they said that they have run out of things that I don’t need.

Trending via Twitch:

Boxes of pasta don’t need a plastic window. I believe pasta is in the box.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

My fantasy is having two men at once. One cooking, one cleaning.

Trending via Instagram:

I’m old enough to remember when the hole in the ozone layer killed us all off.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.

Just landed via Facebook:

I’m not athletic, but I’m good at jumping to conclusions.

Live now on Telegram:

If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.

Live now on Facebook:

I take offense when people don’t invite me to events l’d like to turn down.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

A hostile alien invasion sounds like a nice change of pace.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Only money has the right to say “you’ll regret losing me”. The rest of you calm down.

Technically mixed martial arts can include tickle fighting.

I will unfriend, uncousin, unco-worker, unfollow, unfamily any draining soul real quick.

I hate it when I imagine how a conversation will go and then in the actual conversation the person goes off script. That’s not your line, man.

My running speed is very slow because the Discman wasn’t allowed to shake in the past.

If you need me, I will be at the library sniffing old books.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨