Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Imagine how many meals we could provide just by taxing every tweet that incites chaos! 🤑🌍 Let's turn keyboard warriors into global warriors! 💪🍽️ #TwitterTax"

end, fundraising, humor, hunger, jar, media, satire, social, social media, swear, swear jar, Twitter, world, world hunger

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Everyone says “Do what makes you happy”, until you push them down the stairs.

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2 months ago

consequences, dark, dark humor, everyone, expectation, happiness, happy, humor, irony, push, stairs
I’m never drinking again, unless something is going on later today.

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2 months ago

activity, again, drinking, fun, going, humor, later, never, promise, something, today
It’s freaking me out to think of how bad I’d look at the Met Gala.

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2 months ago

appearance, bad, carpet, celebrity, event, fashion, gala, humor, ID, insecure, me, met, Met Gala, outfit, red, red carpet, self-deprecating, think
I lied, I’m jealous. I hope every girl who looks at you gets clipped by a meteor.

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1 month ago

every, girl, hope, humor, i, insult, jealous, jealousy, jealousy humor, jealousy joke, joke, looks, meteor, relationship, relationship humor
My new drivers license arrived and when I opened it, I gasped. How’d they get a picture of my mother?

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2 months ago

drivers, drivers license, gasp, humor, i, identity, license, mother, new, picture, surprise
Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped school.

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2 months ago

adult, adult life, adulting, humor, life, relatable, responsibility, school, skip, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on X this month:

By the time I remember to text back, it be too disrespectful to even do it.

12 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.

79 shares on Threads this month:

Discord is only good for calling friends on the computer. Please do not waste your time getting caught up in random servers.

51 shares on Messenger this month:

Spongebob wouldn’t even mess with some of y’all. But he’d hang out with me because my heart is pure, and I like to laugh a lot.

85 shares on Discord this month:

Pinterest is so therapeutic. There’s no drama, no one to argue with. Just pretty pictures.

33 shares on Instagram this month:

You’re in his DMs, so am I, but I am way funnier.

34 shares on Threads this month:

Welcome to your 50s… you can now fall asleep sitting up on the couch at any given moment.

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

47 shares on YouTube this month:

My tapeworm is starting a podcast about the McRib.

70 shares on LinkedIn this month:

ROMO (relief of missing out)

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

I wish there was a nicer way to say “my natural tendency to spot patterns is making me feel very uncomfortable about you”.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

I need to be more disciplined and stop procrastinating, starting tomorrow.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Due to personal reasons, I will be screaming into a pillow.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

“Winter is literally the best season.” Okay, husky, go sit outside then.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

“Got milk?” Buddy, I don’t even have self-esteem.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Don’t think my brain is braining properly today.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

I’ve decided that my 20s are actually from 25 – 35.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Homeless man just called me a “loser,” and I showed him my house keys.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on LinkedIn:

Quitting my job to focus on staying inside.

Seen just now on Messenger:

The hottest thing a man can do is exactly what he said he was going to.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Adulting means growing hair in places you’re not supposed to and losing hair in places you don’t want to.

Just shared via TikTok:

I was explaining to my Ukrainian colleague the phrase ‘There’s no such thing as a free lunch’. She told me the equivalent in Ukrainian is ‘The only free cheese is in the mousetrap’ — which is so much better.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Fun fact: If Celine Dion sang only the vowels in her name, it would be the lyrics to Old McDonalds Farm.

Going viral on Twitch:

Whoever said “out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear inside their tent.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Sorry, I’m late. I got here when I wanted to.

Seen just now on Slack:

When I die and y’all go through my search history, you’ll be disappointed to find mostly just definitions for very common words that I wasn’t sure I was using correctly.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Why do flat earthers care so much? Like, what if the Earth is flat. What now?

Just landed via WeChat:

Had an interview today, and my belly rumbled. The lady goes, “Missed lunch?” I told her, “Nah, I’m hungry for success!”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

A swear jar for Twitter would end world hunger.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Everyone says “Do what makes you happy”, until you push them down the stairs.

I’m never drinking again, unless something is going on later today.

It’s freaking me out to think of how bad I’d look at the Met Gala.

I lied, I’m jealous. I hope every girl who looks at you gets clipped by a meteor.

My new drivers license arrived and when I opened it, I gasped. How’d they get a picture of my mother?

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped school.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨