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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Just waiting for my laundry to be done so I can pop it in the dryer and forget about it again.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

I always set two alarms, one for “Good Intentions Me” and one for “The Real Me”

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Adulting has stunned me into silence. I have no thoughts, no remarks and no commentary at the moment.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

AI is that friend who is always there for you but gives terrible advice.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Spiders have the whole world to explore but still try to come up in my house.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

My car accidentally drove to a burger shop again. I hate when it does that.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

My workout is reading in bed until my arms hurt.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

We’ve had far more storms since we started naming them. We’re giving them the attention they crave. Just call it needy wind.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

I just sneezed and farted at the same time. I think my body just took a screenshot.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Me to HR: Okay, but you have to admit that was funny.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,464

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Going to McDonald’s to get the Grinch meal, then going to Burger King to get the Spongebob meal. Then disappearing into the forest for twenty years.

Trending via X:

Getting an entry-level job before the release of ChatGPT in 2022 was like taking the last chopper out of Vietnam. Few realize this yet.

Breaking via Instagram:

Not to be a nerd, but a well-placed semicolon is hot as hell.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The government even made aliens boring.

Trending via X:

Hey, sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.

Live now on X:

You don’t have to check your Spotify Wrapped, you are the most played this year.

Making waves on WeChat:

You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I bet the kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were surprised when found out their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Just shared via YouTube:

My kids and I have this bit where I say something and they ignore me.

Freshly posted on Discord:

You are born, you lie about how you are and then you die.

Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

2 months ago

0

Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🌻 "Looks like someone took 'stop and smell the flowers' a bit too literally! Sunflowers may be bright and beautiful, but they're not a replacement for a date, buddy. The only thing you should be picking in that field is pollen, not phone numbers! 😂 #SunflowerStalker" 🌻

absolutely, awkward, awkward moment, field, guy, humor, moment, pervert, reason, single, single guy, situation, sunflower, sunflower field, unusual, unusual situation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“Your password is too weak.” Just wait until you see my will to live.

0

2 months ago

dark, dark humor, frustration, health, humor, just, live, mental, mental health, password, resilience, sarcasm, too, wait
I don’t care for the term drug mule, why can’t it be a drug unicorn.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, care, creativity, drug, drug mule, drug unicorn, humor, i, imagination, mule, slang, term, unicorn, wordplay
Love when plans get canceled. It’s like getting a snow day as an adult.

0

2 months ago

adult, adult life, cancelation, canceled, day, freedom, getting, leisure, life, love, plans, relaxation, snow, snow day, surprise
The empty spot in your bed is for snacks, not liars.

0

2 months ago

bed, empty, honesty, humor, humor quote, liar, lover, playful, relationship, snack, snack lover, snacks, spot
People delete their social media and start acting like they got a master’s degree in maturity.

0

2 months ago

behavior, delete, education, growth, humor, irony, maturity, media, people, personal, personal growth, self-awareness, social, social media, start
Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

0

2 months ago

babymaking, benny, Benny Hill, hill, humor, music, playful, song, theme, theme song

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on Slack this month:

Legos are too expensive nowadays. They should go back to costing as much as they did when my parents paid for them.

31 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t have a favourite person, but I do have a favourite cheese.

91 shares on Slack this month:

It’s amazing how music can transport you to another place. For example, this coffee shop is playing Justin Bieber, so I’m going to another restaurant.

70 shares on Twitch this month:

You know you’re getting old when you get mad at some random car parked outside your house.

86 shares on Reddit this month:

Actually, no one sees you at your worst like your coworkers do.

39 shares on Discord this month:

I had a hard time coping with the divorce. I’m fine now, but at first I was almost crazy with joy.

55 shares on WeChat this month:

What archaeologists are really looking for is a hand digging back.

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’ve been reading the room for 20 minutes. It’s not looking so good.

80 shares on Threads this month:

Some of you aren’t reading the room. Not even listening to the room on audiobook.

88 shares on TikTok this month:

Hey girl, are you an extraterrestrial? ’Cause your husband’s out here acting like you don’t exist.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Trying to work outside on a laptop is like sunbathing on a melting ice cube.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Home is where you can say anything because nobody’s really listening, anyway.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody seems more shocked, disappointed and dismayed than the person behind the post office counter when I arrive and say I’ve got something to post.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I was as tired at bedtime as I am at 2 p.m. on any given day.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I think I just hit a Labubu with my car.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I said when I retire, I would travel. I just didn’t expect it to be to the doctors.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

When I take a shower I’m: 5% cleaning myself, 10% singing, 85% making life changing decisions.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I concern myself with the opinions of sheep because they are cute.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Please try to schedule meetings around my need for attention.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,672

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Please go out, have fun, have friends, make connections. That mysterious lifestyle won’t save you.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

They were called “TV programs” because they were literally programming us, bro.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

At what point in not being able to sleep do I throw the towel in and have a beer, since maybe that will help?

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

If boring was a brand, you’d be the ambassador.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

I’m not saying I’m old, but when I was in school, we made our parents ashtrays for Christmas.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Wonder if I should do something with my life, or kind of just continue to hang out.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

People pleasers aren’t kind. They’re afraid.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Some days you’re the bat, some days you’re the ball.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely responded to my telepathic messages.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

The first Saw movie should have been called Footloose.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Sorry, I can’t tonight. I’m busy taking things personally.

Trending via Reddit:

Hey there, Delilah, we know you broke that dude’s heart.

Making waves on Instagram:

For Halloween I will go to the beach dressed as a french fry and let the seagulls destroy me.

Just shared via Instagram:

Preparing for the apocalypse by becoming fluent in zombie.

Trending via YouTube:

Piñatas are a fun way to intentionally maim the guests at your party.

Going viral on X:

I know you miss me. The tarot lady on TikTok just told me.

Trending via Instagram:

The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

Just landed via Facebook:

“What’s your 5-year plan?” I’ll probably go to the movies next week, I think.

Making waves on WeChat:

The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

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