Airport security asked me if I’ve seen anything unusual. I just paid $18 for a coke & a sandwich. Let’s start with that.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

I have friends in high places (birds).

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

You do not have to prove your own humanity to others. Unless it’s a captcha.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Most venomous snakes just make “Tsssss”. But I know some that say “Hi”.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

On a first date, saying “agree to disagree” every time they share anything about themselves.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

What does my tattoo mean? It means I couldn’t be trusted with $200 when I was 18.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

On a scale of quack to quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack quack, what do you think of my duck-based numbering system?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Let’s get married and have kids, so instead of relaxing during weeknights, we can go to seven practices and relearn algebra.