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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Due to inflation, alien abduction no longer comes with free probes. Humans are required to bring their own probes or may purchase a probe on board the spacecraft for a moderate fee.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

No president next term. America needs to be single for a while to focus on herself.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Three words no parent ever wants to hear when dropping their kid at a play date: “Come on in.”

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

American homes are so strange because, why is your front door in the living room?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

In case you wanna quit vaping, I’d suggest using a harmonica.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

My first mistake of my life was my birth.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

If anyone wants a more cost effective energy provider, I can supply endless energy on tap from my absolutely not tired child at bedtime.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

No amount of daylight can save us.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,791

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Twitch:

Y’all be riding them bikes in the street like I don’t gotta look up my next song.

Freshly posted on Discord:

They should release the Epstein list right before the Oscars.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Tried a smile yesterday and my white blood cells attacked it.

Just shared via X:

At the end of the day, it’s just me and me.

Going viral on TikTok:

Someday I will make a sandwich that will change my life forever.

Trending via YouTube:

(to the boys in the yard) I hope you brought your own milkshake.

Live now on X:

Establish dominance at work by telling your coworkers they look tired before they get a chance to say it to you.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Desperately seeking my soul, mate.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Oh you won a gold medal at the Olympics? My watch just congratulated me for standing up.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

Applying lip balm when you know someone’s watching you is a power move.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Who knew moisturizing could feel like wielding a tiny stick of confidence? 💄😎✨

applying, balm, behavior, confidence, funny behavior, humor, know, lip, lip balm, move, power, power move, self-care, situation, social, social situation, watching

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’ve tasted being the bigger person, I’ve also tasted matching energy. I recommend no contact.

0

2 months ago

advice, being, bigger, bigger person, contact, energy, humor, i, matching, matching energy, no contact, person, recommend, relationship
Friends with consequences.

0

2 months ago

consequence, consequences, friend, friends, friendship, humor, joke
Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.

0

2 months ago

appointment, dentist, humor, ID, officer, order, reminder, restraining, restraining order, sarcasm, system, yes
The share button on Reddit should be called Spreddit.

0

2 months ago

button, joke, media, pun, Reddit, share, share button, should, social, social media, wordplay
A fabric tomato filled with needles. Don’t see that much anymore.

0

4 months ago

fabric, filled, much, needle, nostalgia, sewing, tomato
Don’t throw hate at me, throw money!

0

2 months ago

hate, humor, me, money, sarcasm, throw

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on Messenger this month:

Іf Empire Strikes Back isn’t a Christmas movie, then why is there so much snow in it?

56 shares on Reddit this month:

Listen, before I had my coffee I didn’t know how awesome I was going to be today either.

45 shares on Facebook this month:

My handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

65 shares on TikTok this month:

Everyone says “Do what makes you happy”, until you push them down the stairs.

38 shares on Pinterest this month:

Whenever I feel like I hate my job, I remind myself that I could be a food taster for the emperor.

21 shares on Discord this month:

Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.

26 shares on Facebook this month:

The sluttiest thing a man can do is have an ethical dilemma over his lust for you.

40 shares on Telegram this month:

Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”

72 shares on YouTube this month:

I will trust someone on Reddit from 11 years ago with my life before using ChatGPT for anything.

57 shares on Slack this month:

No Botox. I need to furrow my brow when people say dumb things.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

I know I just ate a snack, but I could really use a snack.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Dear recipe websites. I don’t need your life story. Just give me the recipe.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

I hope my email finds you enraged.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

My life started becoming a mess when I was put in charge of my own bedtime.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Caffeine isn’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat a gun.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Woke up, twerked in the mirror and laid back down.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

The most refreshing way to fight your personal demons is to make demonade.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

They said don’t try this at home, so I’m coming over to your place.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

I hate being around people who mistake my childlike wonder as naivety or weakness. I am simply a war general who loves to giggle.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

I set up a Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Not to upset anyone, but Monday is waiting outside.

Just landed via YouTube:

Pro Tip: Never make snow angels in a dog park.

Shared recently on X:

Every girl’s personal hell is being too excited about their birthday and it ends up being the worst day ever.

Live now on Messenger:

King-sized beds: Because you both want to sleep on the same mattress, but not in the same zip code.

Making waves on WeChat:

Real introverts are too introverted to tell people they’re introverts.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

He’s called James Cameron because he turns the camera on.

Live now on Reddit:

Just because your parents planned you doesn’t mean you weren’t a mistake.

Just shared via Twitch:

I can’t be the only person who thinks the presidential debate should be performed as a rap battle.

Just landed via X:

You’re all using your crystals wrong. Put them in a sock and start swinging.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Applying lip balm when you know someone’s watching you is a power move.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’ve tasted being the bigger person, I’ve also tasted matching energy. I recommend no contact.

Friends with consequences.

Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.

The share button on Reddit should be called Spreddit.

A fabric tomato filled with needles. Don’t see that much anymore.

Don’t throw hate at me, throw money!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨