Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m not even doomscrolling anymore; I’m just regular scrolling, and everything’s doomed.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Sometimes being on your phone all day is your destiny.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

There’s poetry in walking away without closing the door too loud.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Being a procrastinator and a perfectionist means you’re stressed about work … that you haven’t even started yet.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Nightmares are so embarrassing. Why is my anxiety working the night shift?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

My hair dryer is so powerful that it doubles as my leaf blower.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Welcome to Twitter, some random, judgmental stranger will be along shortly to complain about your tweets.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Who you are when you’re stuck behind a slow driver is the real you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

293 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,562

Funny Quotes Topics

17,616

Funny Quotes Images

15,562

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,261

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Every single morning, I have to get out of bed and do things, and it’s bullshit.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I keep forgetting i’m at the age where people will tell me they’re pregnant and my reaction is supposed to be positive.

Just landed via Facebook:

Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I be butt naked, texting people, and they’ll never know.

Trending via Messenger:

Every time I get the urge to clean, I watch Hoarders and I decide my house isn’t that dirty after all.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Drink coffee, avoid idiots, read books and repeat.

Going viral on X:

Life hack: You can turn your ordinary sofa into a sofa bed by simply forgetting your wife’s birthday.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

My life would be pointless without cheese. Or as the famous song goes: “Ain’t no sunshine when cheese gone!”

Shared recently on Threads:

I bet my soulmate is out there somewhere pretending everything is fine.

Making waves on X:

Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

Attention to detail is so sexy, study me, baby.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Who knew being a nerd would finally pay off? Time to check out the study materials! 🤓❤️📚

attention, attention to detail, baby, confidence, detail, flirtation, humor, me, sexy, study

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My first instinct when I see an animal is to say “hello.” My first instinct when I see a person is to avoid eye contact and hope it goes away.

4 months ago

animal, anxiety, avoid, away, contact, eye, eye contact, greeting, hello, hope, humor, i, instinct, introvert, person, say, social, social anxiety
“This too shall pass!” Okay, but like, when exactly?

2 months ago

exactly, expectation, humor, okay, pass, patience, procrastination, this too shall pass, time, too, uncertainty
Reverse cowgirl because you made me mad, and I can’t even look at you right now.

5 months ago

anger, cowgirl, even, frustration, humor, i, intimacy, mad, me, relationship, reverse, reverse cowgirl, right
Welcome to your fifties. Saturday Night Fever now means lots of rest, cold medicine, and chicken noodle soup.

2 months ago

age, aging, chicken, chicken noodle soup, cold, cold medicine, fever, fifty, health, humor, humor about age, means, medicine, night, noodle, rest, retirement, Saturday, Saturday Night Fever, soup, welcome
Oh, sorry about bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to slam my head into the walls anymore.

2 months ago

accident, allowed, bouncing, head, humor, injury, joke, leg, oh, playful, self-deprecating, slam, sorry, wall, walls
Posing for photos has to be the most basic thing I’m actually terrible at.

2 months ago

actually, awkward, basic, humor, most, photo, photography, photos, posing, self-confidence, self-image, selfie, talent, terrible, thing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on Reddit this month:

You can do laundry every day and still be behind on laundry.

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

Airport beer at 6 a.m.? No problem. The airport is a lawless place that is free from judgment.

55 shares on Slack this month:

Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

88 shares on Pinterest this month:

Cutting my steak at Texas Roadhouse with my car keys.

51 shares on Pinterest this month:

Have kids so you can say things you never thought you would like “please don’t vacuum your sister”

99 shares on Telegram this month:

Being single for Valentine’s Day is way better than being in the wrong relationship.

93 shares on Slack this month:

A gender-neutral equivalent of ‘sugar daddy’ is glucose guardian.

65 shares on Facebook this month:

I just be minding my business, and next thing you know, a payment is due.

70 shares on YouTube this month:

Eatіng іn bed іs much better. Everythіng’s a napkіn.

31 shares on Instagram this month:

Super excited about a brand new week of self-sabotage.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

If a woman says “Do what you want!”, then for God’s sake don’t do what you want!

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Dear Apple, at no point will I ever text someone “he’ll yeah” ..

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Them: OMG, I haven’t seen you in so long. Me: Yeah, that was on purpose.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

The week be like Mooonnnday, Tueeesday, Weeeeednesday, Thuuuuursday, FriSatSun

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Legos are too expensive nowadays. They should go back to costing as much as they did when my parents paid for them.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

When someone asks me why I’m in a wheelchair, I want to say something ridiculous like, “I’m not standing up until I’ve saved a million.”

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

I crashed my bike in 1989 and hurt my knee real bad. We didn’t have social media back then so I’m telling you guys now.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

If Halloween is over, then why am I still scared?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Used to wonder why my parents couldn’t grasp technology, but now, anytime I see something new, I’m like, “I’m not learning that.”

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

When people say I don’t mean to brag, they’re bragging about not bragging.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

My psych professor asked if we’d heard of Pavlov. I said, “It rings a bell.” No one laughed; I’m too witty for this class.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Getting so tangled in the sex shop bead curtain that they have to put me down like a horse with a broken leg.

Just shared via Telegram:

There’s nothing worse than being in public and you touch something that shouldn’t be sticky and it is.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Taking yesterday’s bad mood on a multi-day tour.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

People my age are parenting actual humans, and I’m over here promising myself snacks if I fold the laundry.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Facebook should just go back to being Hot or Not dot com.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Laziness is the art to rest before one gets tired.

Shared recently on Slack:

No, baby, I’m not dumping you. I’m just rebranding myself as your ex.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

“Please feel free to ignore this email!” Way ahead of you, buddy.

Just landed via Twitch:

Why do men have birthdays? It’s not like they’re growing up.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Attention to detail is so sexy, study me, baby.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My first instinct when I see an animal is to say “hello.” My first instinct when I see a person is to avoid eye contact and hope it goes away.

“This too shall pass!” Okay, but like, when exactly?

Reverse cowgirl because you made me mad, and I can’t even look at you right now.

Welcome to your fifties. Saturday Night Fever now means lots of rest, cold medicine, and chicken noodle soup.

Oh, sorry about bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to slam my head into the walls anymore.

Posing for photos has to be the most basic thing I’m actually terrible at.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨