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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Savannah is one of the only girl’s names that’s also a significant “biome”.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

The only talent I have is spending more than I bring in.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

To whoever stole my oversized clock, you owe me big time.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

I love my new crockpot. Now we can wait longer to eat my horrible cooking.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Your annoying online persona has captured my heart.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

One of my greatest strengths is appearing busy so people don’t try to speak to me.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

I was always told to eat all my food so that I’d grow to be big and strong. When exactly does the strong part kick in?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Due to personal reasons, I will be screaming into a pillow.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the work of 3-5 people.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,404

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

The goth urge to live in a haunted Victorian estate and be feared by the townspeople.

Just shared via Reddit:

Can’t sleep because I keep finding exciting opportunities to get pissed off.

Trending via Facebook:

The great thing about having a mouse in your house is that I’m sure it’s just the one mouse, probably.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I feel bad for Slash. He bought a goofy hat in like 1986 and now he has to wear it until the day he dies.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I’m the friend who shows up with a shovel and an alibi.

Spotted on Twitch:

My laptop is overheating because I am doing a really good job.

Breaking via X:

If you don’t believe aliens walk amongst us, who else could write such unnatural dialogue in pharmaceutical commercials?

Going viral on Discord:

By the time my CVS receipt finished printing, I was eligible for another prescription refill.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

If someone asks you: ‘Why are you single, don’t you like people?’, answer: ‘Why aren’t you a millionaire, don’t you like money?’

Trending via TikTok:

The worst part about getting sucked up by the tornado you’re filming is to die knowing your wife was right. You are an idiot.

Attention to detail is so sexy, study me, baby.

1 month ago

Playful witty text emphasizing charm and humor about attention to detail.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Who knew being a nerd would finally pay off? Time to check out the study materials! 🤓❤️📚

attention, attention to detail, baby, confidence, detail, flirtation, humor, me, sexy, study

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The same mosquito kept biting me last night. It probably thought it was at a wine tasting.

89 shares on Facebook this month:

If the shampoo and the conditioner finish at the same time, one of them faked it.

57 shares on Threads this month:

It’s okay, wobbly chair, I’m unstable too.

51 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The older I get, the more I understand why deer run in front of cars.

94 shares on Messenger this month:

No, babe, your 10-minute incremental alarms starting a full hour before you actually get up only make me love you more.

67 shares on X this month:

The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

72 shares on Reddit this month:

You’re in his DMs, so am I, but I am way funnier.

24 shares on Discord this month:

Parallel lines have got so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.

26 shares on Snapchat this month:

Doctor: Your body has run out of magnesium. Me: OMg.

95 shares on Discord this month:

Vegan zombies be like: GRAINS!

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

You’re confusing me with someone who cares what you think of me.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Imagine going to see a situationship in 1868, and you go outside, and your horse is dead as hell.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Pretty sure the best place to hide a dead body is in a new tab you opened to read later.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Life hack: give yourself 8 to 12 hours of alone time in the morning to mentally prepare for the day.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Dude so boring, it’s like his personality swiped left on him.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

You’ll be watching a series, and they’ll just randomly start playing the best song you’ve ever heard in your life.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Zara makes clothing for occasions that don’t exist.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Harmonicas are basically for people who like to hear music while they spit.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

I’m in favor of sticking an “out of order” sign on some people’s foreheads. As a warning.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Going from “I can fix her” to “I don’t care if she lives or dies” in the same beer.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Slack:

Did you get that psychic damage I sent you?

Just shared via TikTok:

Vaping: When you feel like smoking but don’t want to look cool.

Just landed via Twitch:

Never share a secret with a clock. Because time will tell.

Seen just now on WeChat:

You can talk about any topic for 30 mins if you’re a confident liar.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I did not “try to rob a bank,” I just “aspired” to obtain more money.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Of course I wrote a grocery list. I carefully wrote it all down and then didn’t bring it with me, like my mother and her mother before her.

Breaking via WeChat:

Anxiety should have a loyalty rewards program.

Making waves on Slack:

I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat.

Just shared via TikTok:

If you want to impress me with your car, it should be an ice cream van.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. How many minutes did you spend listening to your girlfriend this year?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Attention to detail is so sexy, study me, baby.

Me before grocery shopping: only healthy foods, no impulse buys, I can do this. Me during grocery shopping: they make chocolate filled marshmallows?

How do I get one of those fake corporate jobs where I work remotely, get paid for responding to one email a day, and have a laptop on with Outlook or whatever open?

Dear brain, please stop thinking so much exactly when it’s time to fall asleep.

If Halloween is over, then why am I still scared?

There are two types of people at work: Those who work and those who have become pros at looking busy.

Just because your parents planned you doesn’t mean you weren’t a mistake.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Attention to detail is so sexy, study me, baby.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Me before grocery shopping: only healthy foods, no impulse buys, I can do this. Me during grocery shopping: they make chocolate filled marshmallows?

How do I get one of those fake corporate jobs where I work remotely, get paid for responding to one email a day, and have a laptop on with Outlook or whatever open?

Dear brain, please stop thinking so much exactly when it’s time to fall asleep.

If Halloween is over, then why am I still scared?

There are two types of people at work: Those who work and those who have become pros at looking busy.

Just because your parents planned you doesn’t mean you weren’t a mistake.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨