Commentary:
"Still waiting for my grocery store dance battle debut! 🛒🕺💃😂"
Author Archives: slickboy
My kids want to know what’s for dinner, like they’re going to be happy with the answer.
Commentary:
Guess it's another night of "Not pizza again!" 🙄🍕
Another day on this hamster wheel to nowhere.
Commentary:
Rolling through life like a pro, but didn't realize I'm not actually going anywhere… 😂🐹🔄
Asking my boyfriend if he would still date me if an alien had done experiments on me that killed me but, as a gesture of kindness, replaced me with a perfect replica, and he was the only one who knew.
Commentary:
🛸 "If you love me at my alien-replacement phase, then you've passed the ultimate relationship test! I guess that makes us 'out of this world' together! 👽❤️"
Bartender asked me to give his place a one-star Google review to keep the vibe lowkey. Insane method.
Commentary:
Keeping the five-star fun on the down low, one "meh" at a time. 🥴🌟📉🍻
For all those wondering, yes, I am retired. I was tired yesterday, and I am tired again today.
Commentary:
Officially embracing the fine art of being "re-tired" daily! 😴🔄🎉
I met the real Santa tonight, and he said you’re all in trouble.
Commentary:
Santa's got the naughty list and he's not afraid to use it! 🎅⚖️🙈
Christmas lights: the only thing bright around here besides my personality.
Commentary:
Someone's personality just stole the spotlight from the Christmas lights 🌟🎄😄
Tuesday is just another Monday, but reheated.
Commentary:
Ah, Tuesday, the microwave meal of weekdays! 🍕🔁😄
My father didn’t want kids, so he had two kids, which was the equivalent of zero kids at the time.
Commentary:
Dad-math strikes again: 2 kids = 0 kids. 🤔🧮👶👶