Commentary:
Sounds like your guardian angel needs a reminder that they're not on vacation! 😇📱🤖🎰
Author Archives: slickboy
I don’t want your hoodie, I want your still-beating heart presented to me in a box.
Commentary:
I'll take the hoodie for now, but keep that heart on layaway 😉💀❤️
Life hack: You don’t need white noise to sleep when you have constant ringing in your ears.
Commentary:
Why pay for a sleep app when tinnitus provides a never-ending playlist? 🎵🔔😴
I still haven’t heard one good argument why I should stop believing in Santa.
Commentary:
Who needs logic when you've got cookies and presents? 🎅🍪🎁
Male barista called me “my love” yesterday and didn’t say it today… getting mixed signals and feeling really upset.
Commentary:
Having trouble with my coffee relationship status… yesterday we were "my love," today we're just "regulars" ☕💔😆
When you realize a 9 to 5 is actually an 8 to 7, since you cannot teleport to work.
Commentary:
"Oh, I see why they call it a 'work day' and not a 'work moment' 😂⏰🚗"
You’re not a real baddie until a man has tried to forbid you from posting on social media.
Commentary:
When your posts are so lit, even Wi-Fi signals start sweating. 🔥📵😂
I’m perverted, but in an elegant and whimsical way.
Commentary:
Elegantly whimsical pervert: making even mischief sound classy! 😏🎩✨
Are you mad at me? Have you been mad at me? Will you be mad at me? When will you be mad at me?
Commentary:
I feel like I'm starring in a soap opera called "The Many Moods of Madness"! 🎭😅
The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.
Commentary:
Looks like my sleep schedule is booked solid! 📚😴😂