It’s almost time to put away my black summer clothes and bring out my black fall clothes. Posted onMay 30, 2026
I don’t care if I’m standing in the window, if I said I ain’t home, I ain’t home. Posted onMay 30, 2026
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but that much caffeine can’t be good for you. Posted onMay 30, 2026
My kids will never appreciate the amount of extroverting the introvert me does for them. Posted onMay 30, 2026
I want to sit and read, take a nap, and snack. Basically, I want to be in kindergarten. Posted onMay 30, 2026
Everyone is fighting a battle you don’t know about, except for me. I am complaining loudly about my battle. Everybody knows about it. Posted onMay 30, 2026
I don’t know much about women, but they love containers that hold smaller containers. Posted onMay 30, 2026
Once you are able to find humor in any situation, you’ve either reached enlightenment or you’re just a little unhinged. Posted onMay 30, 2026
Liking sports is great because you’ll have a bad day, then here your team comes to make it worse. Posted onMay 30, 2026
The way I see it, eating chips while I wait for my pizza to arrive is no different than ordering a starter in a restaurant. Posted onMay 30, 2026
When I’m not posting or returning messages, just know that I’m probably out doing superhero shit. Posted onMay 30, 2026
I feel like a large portion of my adult life has been looking for an adult to do my adulting. Posted onMay 30, 2026
Nighttime is when I remember that one weird thing I said in 6th grade, and feel bad about it forever. Posted onMay 30, 2026
Nothing makes me feel more powerful than when I write ‘furthermore’ in an email. Posted onMay 30, 2026
I just want someone who can see through all my bullshit and hate me for who I really am. Posted onMay 30, 2026
This year has been the perfect blend of me losing my mind and having the time of my life. Posted onMay 30, 2026
Blocking isn’t enough. I wanna throw tomatoes at you like you’re a medieval criminal. Posted onMay 30, 2026
If David Bowie taught us anything, it’s that being a little weird is better than being forgettable. Posted onMay 30, 2026