It’s so unfair that saying “xd” is still socially acceptable, but only if you’re speaking Spanish. Posted onMay 30, 2026
It’s so funny how you can meet someone randomly online, and they become such an important part of your life. It’d be nicer if they lived closer, though. Posted onMay 30, 2026
People moaning and making noise over food makes me so livid I can’t keep it in. Posted onMay 30, 2026
I may not be the smartest or most athletic man in the world. There’s no second part to this, keep scrolling. Posted onMay 30, 2026
“I’m pretty good with money unless I leave my house or have access to the internet.” Posted onMay 30, 2026
Please don’t match my crazy. One of us has to be rational here, and it’s definitely not going to be me. Posted onMay 30, 2026
Trying to watch a superhero movie without stressing about the infrastructure damage to the city. Posted onMay 30, 2026
Love how Batman: The Animated Series seems to take place in the 40s and the 50s and the 70s and the 90s all at once. Posted onMay 30, 2026
I changed my password to ‘incorrect’ so whenever I forget it, the computer tells me it’s incorrect, and I’m like, ‘Wow, you didn’t have to be so rude about it.’ Posted onMay 30, 2026
I told my computer I needed a break, now it sends me reminders to stretch while I’m lying on the couch. Posted onMay 30, 2026
Every time I want to use a big word that I just know the meaning of, I Google it first, just in case. Posted onMay 30, 2026
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you’re stupid and you make bad decisions. Posted onMay 30, 2026
My ability to remember song lyrics from the ’90s far exceeds my ability to remember why I walked into the garage. Posted onMay 30, 2026
“You’re not allowed to be grumpy on a Friday, it’s in the fine print somewhere.” Posted onMay 30, 2026
Any porn site that allows comments is instantly funny because, like, why is that there. Posted onMay 30, 2026
Today, I started a 28-day no-swearing challenge, which I will restart tomorrow. Posted onMay 30, 2026
You know when you tap a video to see how long it’s got left? I wish you could do that to people while they’re talking. Posted onMay 30, 2026
Checking Twitter now is like staring into your refrigerator to see if anything good has magically appeared. Posted onMay 30, 2026