Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

I just need to lie down for a couple of years.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

If I win the lottery, I’m buying four politicians and some really nice shoes.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Spending money on disappointing food is a different type of pain.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

A plus of getting older is not having to make as much small talk because half the conversation is spent asking the other person to repeat what they just said.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

You never forget your first kiss. Or your first meeting with HR.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

When a girl is done with you, she talks to you like she’s in HR or something.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

That “never again” talk with yourself after a certain experience is always funny.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Don’t ever get excited if your kid likes a new food. They won’t like it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

You can’t keep running away from your problems, you’re getting older and your kids are getting faster.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you’re up to.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,491

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

I just want what every middle-aged person wants: to remember what it was that I wanted.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Giving out false information so I know who the leak is.

Just shared via YouTube:

I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

Just landed via Slack:

Explain it to me like I’m 5 drinks in.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Our parents are going to be shocked when they find out that most of us are serious about not getting married.

Just shared via YouTube:

I’m only dead on the outside.

Shared recently on X:

I love when people find out I meant every word I said.

Seen just now on TikTok:

The thing about being 50+ is that whenever an opportunity to pee is available – you’re wise to take it.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I do not care how bad the relationship is, I am NOT calling a radio station for advice.

Breaking via Telegram:

Oh, you’re extending your sale? Your Black Friday sale that ended on Tuesday? You’re extending it?

Being a toddler’s favorite person is what real love actually looks like.

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Being a toddler’s favorite person is what real love actually looks like.
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Commentary:
Toddler-approved: The highest honor one can achieve before 9 p.m.! 👶❤️🏆

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My door camera alerts are all just me stepping outside to see how warm it is.

61 shares on Facebook this month:

Ouija boards are like unannounced phone calls for ghosts.

74 shares on Discord this month:

Someone asked me if I had any hobbies and I panicked and said “lasagna”.

39 shares on YouTube this month:

What would boomers do without their paper shredder?

96 shares on Threads this month:

Always be kind. You never know who has a pool.

83 shares on Twitch this month:

My husband said I use a lot of makeup, so I showed him some makeup tutorials on TikTok and I don’t think he’ll be making that mistake again.

25 shares on Reddit this month:

You can just make up words and if you say them in a Scottish accent, people will think they’re real: Looka the wee janglers on that tary bibbit.

16 shares on Threads this month:

Oh, him? He’s my insignificant other.

88 shares on Telegram this month:

I believe in you. I also believe in Bigfoot so don’t get too excited.

90 shares on Snapchat this month:

When you think about it, Jesus really accomplished a lot in the four months between Christmas and Easter.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

“Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

It was a tough year, but at least I did not buy a Labubu.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I want to make you say, “Oh God,” in a way that makes God nervous.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Never underestimate the healing power of having your bed to yourself.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Opening a Star Wars pub called Bar Bar Binks.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Odd—my boss told me to meet him at the abandoned quarry at midnight for my performance evaluation.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Super excited for a brand new week of hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I think something is so beautifully wrong with you.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The best essential oils are the ones that drip out of Tacos.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Being liked at work comes with so many perks, you could be late as hell, and everyone is just happy to see you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,413

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Being an adult is spending every day looking at a pill bottle, wondering, “Did I take this already?”

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Why does it take 5-7 days to refund me when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Christmas can be really hard for single people. Everyone else is having a brilliant time and we have to hide the fact that every day is like that for us.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Eat like your treadmill is watching.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

I concern myself with the opinions of sheep because they are cute.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

The day after Christmas is a dangerous morning to be a microwave.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

I am brilliantly social for one and a half hours, and then I need to recover in my bedroom cave for two days.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

It’s romantic to fall in love during the collapse of society.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

It’s called a Caesar Salad because you stab it a bunch of times when you eat it.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

That awesome moment when you open the fridge and the first thing you see is the thing you wanted to eat.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

I woke up from a deep sleep in a panic thinking I was late for work. Thankfully, I was already there.

Trending via TikTok:

Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.

Going bananas on Messenger:

I don’t have read receipts on my phone because why would I tell on myself like that?

Shared recently on Facebook:

Where do you see yourself five beers from now? What’s your five-beer plan?

Spotted on Slack:

Who needs a period calendar when I know I’ll have it when I’m crying over nonsense things.

Going bananas on Instagram:

As long as I’m alive, I can begin again and again and again, again and again and again, again and again and again.

Freshly posted on X:

Tupperware is a fun way to store your leftovers until you throw them away.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I won $6 on a scratch-off last night. Out of my way, peasants!

Making waves on WeChat:

I don’t like people who take drugs, for example: airport security.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

So rude to come up with solutions to my excuses.

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