Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

How I flirt? I look at an attractive person several times and hope that they are bolder than me.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Best tips for saving money: lay down and don’t move.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

I feel bad for those that don’t enjoy their own company. I be having a ball by myself.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Yesterday, my boss asked me what I did for a living.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Checked myself, but unfortunately, after I wrecked myself.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Welcome to middle age. Everything you encounter is either blurry or too loud now.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Pasta is something I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

I would do absolutely anything for my friends, except answer their text messages.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

The only thing that could heal me is a memory loss.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,365

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

They say it is hard to look at lips that you are not allowed to kiss. You do not know how hard it is to look at a face that you are not allowed to hit.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Telling my boss I can’t come back to work because I’ve discovered the joy of doing nothing.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

That beeping of the parking assistant when you get too close to other cars. I’d like that for people.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Old people understand Roman numerals. I for one.

Trending via TikTok:

I could never work in an aquarium. I would have a penguin under my shirt at the end of the shift.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Who needs an alarm clock when you have a bladder.

Making waves on Reddit:

“Why does my back always hurt?”, I say, while never sitting upright in a chair.

Going viral on Messenger:

I like my mornings to be slow and quiet. I want the day to romance me a bit before it tries to mess me up.

Just shared via Telegram:

Tidying up usually ends up with you sitting somewhere and playing around with things you found while tidying up.

Spotted on Messenger:

Winter hack: Avoid the cold by never leaving your house.

Being a toddler’s favorite person is what real love actually looks like.

1 month ago

Witty quote about the joy of being a toddler's favorite person, full of playful love.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Toddler-approved: The highest honor one can achieve before 9 p.m.! 👶❤️🏆

actually, being, favorite, favorite person, looks, love, love relationship, person, real, real love, relationship, toddler, toddler love, toddlers

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Apparently I lack empathy, according to some stupid cow in HR.

4 weeks ago

apparently, cow, empathy, hr, i, lack, stupid
I think I’ll just let my jazz hands speak for themselves.

1 month ago

dance, hand, hands, humor, i, jazz, jazz hand, just, let, performance, self-expression, speak, think
I just sneezed into my elbow and now I’m waiting for a preschool teacher to praise me.

1 month ago

achievement, elbow, etiquette, humor, i, just, me, praise, preschool, sneeze, teacher, waiting
Stay up till 4 a.m. one night, and your sleep schedule is ruined for the next 4 years.

3 weeks ago

4, am, deprivation, exaggeration, humor, insomnia, late, late night, next, night, ruined, schedule, sleep, sleep deprivation, sleep schedule, stay, tiredness
Just seen the cost of funerals and no wonder people are living longer.

4 weeks ago

cost, expenses, funeral, humor, just, life, living, longer, mortality, people, seen, wonder
Fun Fact: Dove chocolate tastes way better than their soap.

1 month ago

better, chocolate, comparison, dove, dove chocolate, fact, food, fun, fun fact, humor, soap, taste

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on X this month:

I don’t want kids, but I do want grandkids. Hoping science finds a way.

40 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m so single right now, I can’t even spell relayshaunship.

35 shares on Snapchat this month:

I dunno how to flirt but I can insult you so nicely.

21 shares on TikTok this month:

I used to think adulthood was one crisis after another. I was wrong. Multiple crises. Concurrently. All at once. All the time. Forever.

43 shares on Slack this month:

I used to think money is everything. I still think money is everything.

69 shares on Reddit this month:

Perfume is designed to be an invisible accessory. It’s not designed to instantly kill the canary when you entered the room.

25 shares on TikTok this month:

Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

47 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s so rude how many of you have the audacity to be out peopling around whenever I go somewhere.

95 shares on WeChat this month:

All my life lessons were learned by watching people who took my advice.

41 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

If you stare at your face in the back of a spoon you look a lot like someone who doesn’t know how to use cutlery.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything, but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Sometimes when I’m having a particularly stressful day, I take a pregnancy test to remind myself that at least one thing in my life is still going as planned.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

I did not “try to rob a bank,” I just “aspired” to obtain more money.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

It’s finally actually Saturday after just thinking it was Saturday every day for the last five days.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

I hate when I get ready too quickly and have to sit on the couch, fully dressed, and wait like an idiot.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

When a man is a good cook, that cancels out like three red flags.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

I’m not asking for a lot, I just want someone down to earth that’s gonna touch me all over like my shower curtain does.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

I need a weighted blanket that won’t let me get out of bed in the morning.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Totally forgot my demands now that I’ve strapped this ticking bomb to my chest.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Oftentimes, I like the idea of an activity. The actual doing of said activity, not so much.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Looking for someone to take to couples therapy and see how long it takes the therapist to notice we don’t know each other.

Spotted on Twitch:

I’m only here while I wait for that Nigerian prince to follow through on his end of the bargain.

Going viral on Threads:

How many calories do you burn waiting to hear back?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I used to look for monsters under the bed. Today I know they are behind some people’s fake smiles.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Men be like, yes, I hurt you, but now you hate me, so I am the true victim.

Shared recently on Messenger:

My wife is refusing to bring me a beer. That’s it, gonna text her and say “I cannot believe how lazy you are”.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Is there a rehab for introverts who try to extrovert? Asking for a friend.

Spotted on Reddit:

I need a browser plugin that disables Amazon when I’m drinking. Hashtag: don’t drink and Prime.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Being a toddler’s favorite person is what real love actually looks like.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Apparently I lack empathy, according to some stupid cow in HR.

I think I’ll just let my jazz hands speak for themselves.

I just sneezed into my elbow and now I’m waiting for a preschool teacher to praise me.

Stay up till 4 a.m. one night, and your sleep schedule is ruined for the next 4 years.

Just seen the cost of funerals and no wonder people are living longer.

Fun Fact: Dove chocolate tastes way better than their soap.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨