Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

When you decorate your whole house for Christmas, what you’re really saying is “I’m not going to dust for at least a month.”

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

I only sleep so my phone can get the night off.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

I hope this email finds you at relative peace with the paradox of existence.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

If snails are so slow, why don’t we ever see them coming? It’s just BAM, there’s a snail.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Speaker phone in public should be illegal.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Me liking your post is the equivalent of an angel kissing your forehead.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Why, as a hair, would you even wanna be ingrown. Like why are you doing that?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Once I get my UFO, don’t be asking me for rides.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

I don’t need to bring anything to a knife fight, because I don’t go to knife fights.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Before you try to save someone, make sure you’re not interrupting their karma.