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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Coffee ain’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat batteries.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Which is it, brain? Does nothing matter or do I need to be anxious about everything?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

I stopped adding “Let me know if you have any more questions!” to my emails because don’t email me again.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Serious replies to silly posts are now illegal. Go talk to your wife.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

I’ve got to start taking better care of myself. Tomorrow I’ll walk to the liquor store.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

*Googles: How to fake your own death and erase existence before 9am Monday morning.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Having a job is crazy. When you’re at home, you feel lonely and want to go to work. When you’re at work, you’re exhausted and just want to go home.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

I probably never die because I don’t finish anything without a specific deadline.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

I put my pants on like everyone else. With hope they still fit.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Flirting is easy until you have to flirt with the person you like.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,403

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Holding back your sarcastic replies takes a lot of inner strength.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Blackout curtains because I’ll decide what time it is.

Just shared via Messenger:

Ever since I learned the show is called Suits because of lawsuits and not because they wear suits, I have harbored a hot white rage within me beyond anything mankind has ever known.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

They should list at least one alien “as himself” in the Star Wars credits.

Making waves on Twitch:

I always knew I’d get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though.

Trending via Telegram:

Who needs therapy when you can just cry in a fast-food parking lot.

Making waves on Telegram:

The sweet potato is the kindest vegetable.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

Just landed via Threads:

When I’m behind a slow car, I steer my car a little to the right so the people behind me can see that it isn’t my fault.

Breaking news: you’re way less interesting than you think you are.

0
Breaking news: you’re way less interesting than you think you are.
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Commentary:
🚨🤯🎤 "Attention! Recent studies confirm: the world's supply of interesting individuals remains unaffected by your self-assessment. 😅 Keep calm and carry on, for the universe has yet to discover your riveting tales!" 🌍🚀 #HumilityCheck #StayHumble

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on X this month:

The show “How I Met Your Mother” was just a really long TED talk.

52 shares on Reddit this month:

I love when really expensive products say, “apply generously,” like, of course, you would say that.

42 shares on Threads this month:

That one person who has zero concept of what an indoor voice is.

11 shares on Threads this month:

I love Pinterest. No opinions. No bad vibes. Just pretty pictures.

72 shares on Discord this month:

I’ve realized about a third of my life is spent trying to ignore the fact that I have to pee.

75 shares on WeChat this month:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

76 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s not sleeping alone if there are crumbs in your bed.

69 shares on Pinterest this month:

My wallet is empty, just like my soul.

34 shares on Discord this month:

My DMs are always open if you want to talk to yourself.

82 shares on Discord this month:

People in their 20s be like, “This is my emotional support master’s degree.”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope this is the year my teen learns how to turn off a light when she leaves a room.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I dare you to try and be more single than me.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Look, 80’s kids went from Inspector Gadget to Terminator so we have a lot of mixed feelings about technology.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My wife almost fell down the stairs today and that got us into a heated argument whether my gasp was out of concern or excitement.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

When people don’t drink coffee, it’s like, okay, but how do you solve the problem of being awake?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My car spider built a web across my steering wheel and now I can’t go anywhere.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Might put on a bikini and run through your DMs.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

When I was little, I didn’t care what I wore. I just went along with what my parents chose. When I look in old photo albums, l realize that they didn’t care either.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m really into writing short fiction, mainly to-do lists.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I think I’m about six months away from the perfect ‘before’ picture.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,567

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a tweet or a close friends story.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

I know I just ate a snack, but I could really use a snack.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Hotel elevators are hell for those of us who are small-talk failures. The guy asked me, “You just get in today too?” and I said, “Well, no,” then stood in silence.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

My only goal in life is to never end up on a Netflix documentary.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Only 6 hours, 45 minutes and 35 years until I’m done with work.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Y’all ever postpone an outfit? Like, nah, let me save this for a better day? Same.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

When things get hot, they expand, so I’m just getting warmer, not gaining weight.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Having a kid is so fun when you’re childish, like yeah, it’s my turn with the slime, boo.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I want them to get lice.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Somebody needs to get my shit together.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

A Twitter swear jar could end world hunger.

Just landed via X:

Born to hate people. Somehow ended up in customer service.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Mentally saying “Wed-Nes-Day” when writing the word Wednesday.

Breaking via Telegram:

A fun wedding bit is to sit next to a random guest, point to the bride or groom & whisper, “it should’ve been you”

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Karma not moving fast enough for me. I would hate to handle it myself, Lord.

Seen just now on Discord:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to kiss today.

Live now on LinkedIn:

One day you’re young and carefree, and the next you have a favorite stove burner.

Making waves on WeChat:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, getting ready for work, getting some sleep for work, or thinking about not wanting to go to work.

Breaking via Instagram:

Who would have thought that eating a can of beans would backfire like this?

Just landed via TikTok:

“Your account balance is low!” Brother, wait until you see my will to live.

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