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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Your honor, I have a role to play as the black sheep of the family.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Tuesday is no better than Monday.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Social anxiety so bad I wonder if I’m welcome at places I was invited to.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

People call me a “Trekkie,” but I’m not. I’ve only seen Star Wars a couple of times.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

I always figure it out on my own, I just need to panic first.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

High school crushes were crazy because, why the hell was I running all over school just to catch a glimpse of him.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

“Have AI summarize this email for you!” No thanks, I can read what the person actually said in the way they intended.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Liquor store clerk: “Do you need help?” Me: “Yes, but I decided to come here instead.”

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

I need a room full of mirrors because I want to be surrounded by winners.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

My toxic trait is consistently cutting off the resealable part of the bag of frozen vegetables.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,524

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

“I’m interested in the divorce rate for couples who sleep in queen versus king beds.”

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Some people are storms dressed like sunsets. Beautiful from a distance. Dangerous up close.

Going viral on Facebook:

Money talks, and also waves goodbye.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Sure, money can’t buy happiness, but it can definitely buy a jet ski… and have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski?

Making waves on Messenger:

Gwyneth Paltrow, I received the message you sent me last night in my dream and will proceed with the plan.

Trending via Threads:

Born to be a hater, forced to understand your perspective.

Trending via Snapchat:

What base is it when you’re flirting with a woman, and she asks, “Are you all right”?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I wish berries were the size of apples. Just imagine for a second.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Spiraling out of control if anyone wants anything.

Seen just now on TikTok:

We should be able to call in healthy: “I feel amazing today, and I’m not wasting it at work.”

Can we skip to the rich part?

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Can we skip to the rich part?
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Commentary:
"When's the fast-forward button coming out? Asking for my bank account! 💸⏩😂"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on Twitch this month:

Texting my boss from the job I got laid off from 5 months ago and telling him I have diarrhea.

27 shares on Twitch this month:

One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a long weekend.

26 shares on Facebook this month:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode them bikes when we were younger.

31 shares on TikTok this month:

Having to write cover letters is so dumb. Do you really believe my dream ever since I was a little girl was to work for you? No. It was to ride a pony on a funky space rainbow. Grow up.

67 shares on YouTube this month:

Twitter is an abusement park.

38 shares on WeChat this month:

If you ever get attacked by a shark, just be a good sport about it and let it eat you. Hey, look on the bright side: It’s a rare occurrence, so you’re special.

62 shares on Instagram this month:

You learn a lot about someone when you marry them. For example, I learned I should have married someone else.

80 shares on Messenger this month:

My wallet is like an onion; opening it makes me cry.

34 shares on TikTok this month:

There is no sex. I lied. You are gonna lay here and take personality quizzes with me.

48 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Nudes are played out. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Trust my gut? The thing that can’t even handle milk.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Donuts hug you from the inside.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I taped a picture of my paycheck on my front door to keep all the solicitors away.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re confusing me with someone who cares what you think of me.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t break someone’s heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206 of them.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Loving her was my second biggest mistake. Not buying Bitcoins in 2010 still remains the first.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I have almost 100,000 miles on my office chair. So I got that going for me.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Taking screenshots of the screenshots buried in my photo library to ‘bring them to the front.’ It’s not a great system, I admit.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s Monday. Please lower your voice and expectations.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The downside of common sense is, having to deal with those that lack it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,299

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Giving every single movie I watch a five star review because it’s just such a joy to be alive.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Mario Kart turned out to be the best training for winter driving.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

“What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

I’ve realized that some people don’t like me, but I’ve also realized that I don’t give a shit.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

I brake for no one, except squirrels.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Today, I used a wire I’ve kept in my box of cables since 2011. Please applaud.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

I admire how time manages to quickly heal wounds but takes forever to remove awkward tan lines.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

I hope this email finds you at relative peace with the paradox of existence.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I am at work.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

You could waterboard pretty much any embarrassing information out of me. I’m very waterboardable.

Just landed via X:

When I was a little girl, I always dreamed of growing up to satisfy user needs in a way that meets business goals for transformative outcomes.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I hope Google never goes down. I know like six, maybe seven, things.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Does anyone play Trivial Pursuit anymore, or did it retire with the encyclopedias?

Just shared via Twitch:

My favorite Christmas Eve tradition is the one where I tell my kids we have to get the house spotless, or Santa won’t come.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Who called it asking the waiter about the specials and not retrieving data from the server?

Live now on Instagram:

You’re so productive for your wage.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Nice to finally get back that hour they stole earlier this year.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

Just shared via Facebook:

All strapless bras need to be taken off the shelves. A total recall. We do not have the technology yet.

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