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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Ύ has downloaded:

Third wheeling with two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ύ has downloaded:

Did you ever buy a pack of underwear, take them out, and think, wow, these are huge… then try them on, and they fit perfectly?

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Ώ has viewed:

Please have a seat and witness my self-destruction firsthand.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡Ή has shared:

Your 20s are for developing attachments to people who will haunt you for the rest of your life.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡± has viewed:

I really thought impromptu dance-offs were going to be more common.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡³ has viewed:

There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡¨ has shared:

I hate it when I do the math about where my money went, and it all adds up. No one robbed me; I didn’t lose it. It was really all me.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ώ has bookmarked:

As a wife and mother my hobbies include rage cleaning, rage cooking, and rage folding.

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡΄ has bookmarked:

Hate all political parties and you’ll never be disappointed.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡΄ has shared:

Nothing hits harder than opening the fridge for the fifth time, hoping new food magically appeared.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,729

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Seen just now on Slack:

Everyone hates math until their paycheck looks funny, then all of a sudden you know trigonometry.

Trending via Instagram:

Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Has someone told the whales that they can’t sing?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

No pre-workout, just flashbacks of stuff I let slide.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Some people spend a fortune so they can circle the world. I drink some beer and the world circles around me.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Calling a lobotomy a “lobobo” to fit in with Gen Z.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

There are a few certainties in this life: death, taxes and when a Canadian tells you it’s cold out, it’s cold out.

Just shared via Facebook:

Why are fish the only thing you can monger? Let me monger some other stuff.

Spotted on Discord:

Women watch Netflix with subtitles because they don’t know how to listen.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Mindfulness is out. We’re doing drugs again.

Career anxiety hitting at random hours of the day.

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Career anxiety hitting at random hours of the day.
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Commentary:
Ah yes, the classic case of "Why am I not a billionaire genius already?" o'clock πŸ˜…βŒ›πŸ’Έ

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on Snapchat this month:

I got my superpowers when I was bitten by a radioactive idiot.

52 shares on Pinterest this month:

Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.

30 shares on Twitch this month:

I have been touched inappropriately by the sun today.

20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Just because I’m friendly doesn’t mean I like you. It just means that I’m not rude.

11 shares on Reddit this month:

I am so full of love and anger, like a lava lamp.

38 shares on Twitch this month:

Halloween is cool, but nothing is spookier than my previous choices in men.

62 shares on YouTube this month:

Hide and seek, except it’s my husband searching for where he last put his pants.

57 shares on YouTube this month:

I just tried to groom my dog myself, and I now fully understand why the dog groomer charges more for a haircut than my own stylist.

55 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Kendrick inspires me to be a bigger, deeper, more passionate hater.

52 shares on Reddit this month:

Am I just getting older, or are people getting more annoying?

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

18 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Job interviewer: “Where do you see yourself in 5 years’ time?” Me: “My greatest strength is that I’m a good listener.”

23 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I just read a thing that said I should compliment myself on my decisions, regardless of the outcome. No thanks, I’m not the government.

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’m not shy. I just don’t like you.

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I like to just appear out of nowhere and say, β€œthis looks like a job for a binder clip.”

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

You’re supposed to store a treasure in your cleavage that’s why it’s called a chest.

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Bold of you to assume I have the energy to even climb a hill to die on.

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

We need a word for that weird feeling you get when you learn what a podcaster looks like.

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

It’s so funny when someone writes a song to try to get someone to have sex with them. That’s what a bird would do!

20 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If hot showers aren’t good for you then why do I emerge from them bright red like a beautiful ruby?

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Attention to detail is so sexy, study me, baby.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,549

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡¦ has shared:

That one person who has zero concept of what an indoor voice is.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¬ has copied:

Is it cool if I come into your life and just never leave, like a stray cat?

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡Ό has shared:

Do you laugh at your own jokes, or are you emotionally stable?

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Ώ has downloaded:

Candy companies will look you straight in the eye and lie about how they know what a banana tastes like.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ή has shared:

The real advantage of being self-employed is that you don’t have to go to a Christmas party.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡· has viewed:

I hope one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡΄ has copied:

My door camera alerts are all just me stepping outside to see how warm it is.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡Ώ has bookmarked:

My search history is filled with me googling regular words just to make sure I’m using them right.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡¬ has viewed:

Hey, wanna intertwine delusions and make them a reality or nah?

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡· has bookmarked:

A general rule of parenting: if you’re having a great day, the day isn’t old enough yet.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Going viral on TikTok:

My goal for this year is just to make sure the aliens know I’m on their side.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I named my eraser Confidence because it gets smaller after every mistake I make.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

When does hibernation actually begin? I wanna take part this year.

Trending via Reddit:

25 is the new 0 years old.

Shared recently on Discord:

The IRS needs special envelopes for when you’re not in trouble.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

They just don’t put milkshakes in the yard like they used to.

Live now on YouTube:

Good luck to everyone out there trying to gather enough energy to function this week.

Spotted on Threads:

Outlook just asked me if I’m β€œenjoying” Microsoft Outlook. As if it’s not the Torment Portal.

Live now on Instagram:

Aliens are gonna be super confused when they show up threatening to overthrow our leaders and we’re all stoked and offer to help.

Trending via Reddit:

I have three full closets of nothing to wear.

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