Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

They’re called grown-ups because they groan every time they get up.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

My southern family thinks my daily routine in NYC is that I wake up, try really hard not to get stabbed by a knife, and then I go see a musical.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

If I don’t duck my head when I drive into the parking garage, what’s gonna keep my car from hitting the ceiling?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Kid, I have jeans older than you.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

People who listen to their sad playlist when they’re happy are a different breed of unstable.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

“I’ll just iron my clothes for work in the morning,” he thought in stupid bachelor.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

11:00 am – Anything is possible. 3:00 pm – But not today.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

“You’re always drinking wine!” God forbid a girl enjoys the first miracle of Jesus.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Introverts have fun, too — we just don’t care if you know.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,668

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

Twitter is fun because you can tweet about hashbrowns and someone will say you are responsible for genocide.

Live now on WhatsApp:

That little stroll to the coffee maker makes me happy every morning.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Feeling lonely? Just glue a coffee cup to the roof of your car. Everyone will wave to you.

Trending via Pinterest:

I get real disrespectful with serving sizes. A bag is not gonna tell me what to do.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Good morning to everyone except myself cause I wish I was still asleep.

Trending via Discord:

Nobody flirts better than a girl with zero interest.

Just landed via Telegram:

If you encounter a teenager out in the wild, be kind. They are the first generation of kids whose parents are cooler than they are.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The problem is that you are in the dating pool when the other fish are in the ocean.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Christmas is coming and you’re not.

Do people with lip filler know that they look like that?

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Inflatable lips: the new fashion statement. Just one puff and you're ready to float! 💋🎈

appearance, beauty, cosmetic, cosmetic procedure, filler, humor, know, lip, lip filler, people, procedure, self-awareness

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I was not meant for Microsoft Teams.

0

2 months ago

communication, corporate, frustration, humor, i, meant, microsoft, software, Teams, technology, work
I’m pretty sure by now that we’re some kind of satire channel on some other planet.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, channel, comedy, entertainment, humor, planet, pretty, satire, self-awareness, sure
I’m so embarrassed by the paragraphs I used to send expressing my feelings.

0

2 months ago

embarrassment, expression, feelings, humor, i, paragraphs, self-reflection, send, used, writing
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep, not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

0

2 months ago

car, death, die, grandfather, humor, irony, passenger, peaceful, screaming, sleep, want
Being married means mostly shouting “What?” from other rooms.

0

2 months ago

being, communication, couple, humor, marriage, married, means, relationships, rooms, shouting
The ugliest version of me is the version that comes out when I play board games. I don’t know who she is, but she is a monster. She is not fit for human interaction.

0

2 months ago

activity, board, board game, competitive, fit, frustration, fun, fun activity, game, games, human, humor, humorous, humorous quote, i, interaction, know, me, monster, personality, play, self-deprecating, social, social interaction, version

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on TikTok this month:

I think airplanes would be way cooler if the wings flapped like a bird.

70 shares on WeChat this month:

The Velvet Underground probably wouldn’t have been so influential if I was at their shows with a giant magnet and pulled their guitars out of their hands.

87 shares on WeChat this month:

How did they call Deadpool’s dog ‘Dogpool’ when ‘Deadpoodle’ was right there?

67 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m sorry that I’m canceling plans. I made them last week when I assumed that, by now, I’d be a different person.

30 shares on Reddit this month:

Cleaning your kid’s room will piss you off, cause why is my Airfryer in here?

14 shares on Slack this month:

Trust me; this is the second millennium I’ve lived in.

100 shares on X this month:

Aura is the real business card.

23 shares on Telegram this month:

My favorite things about Twitter are that everything you read is true, everyone is nice, and all intentions are pure of heart.

65 shares on Discord this month:

To the knife wielding psycho who walked in on me in the shower; I’m sorry you had to see that.

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

I love how every website has a “Keep me signed in on this computer” button and it’s just straight up bullshit.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

I can’t go to war, I have to water my plants.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Sometimes you really do write a whole poem just to give one beautiful phrase a home.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

The sound of rain outside when you’re in bed is elite.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

He likes when I shakalaka, so, woop, there it is.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

The hard part about dating is finding someone who’s mentally ill enough to understand you, but not mentally ill enough to ruin your life.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

I need a weighted blanket that won’t let me get out of bed in the morning.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Of course your crush is going to leave their spouse for you. That’s how delusions work.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

“There are no words in the English language that have all the vowels in alphabetical order,” he said facetiously.

Trending via TikTok:

Old enough to know better. Young enough to do it anyway.

Seen just now on TikTok:

“Lmao” has survived and even thrived over the years, but its cousin “rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.

Trending via Facebook:

I have no use for mean people. I’ll walk right past you like you’re furniture.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

Trending via Reddit:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped school.

Spotted on Threads:

Welcome to Twitter, someone from an unhappy home will attend to you shortly.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I appreciate all clouds. Fluffy, non-fluffy… it’s how Bob Ross would’ve wanted it.

Making waves on Slack:

If you go by “Toni,” I always think your full name is Rigatoni.

Just shared via X:

Sometimes I can’t believe people have had the honor of experiencing my love and chose to hurt me instead.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Do people with lip filler know that they look like that?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I was not meant for Microsoft Teams.

I’m pretty sure by now that we’re some kind of satire channel on some other planet.

I’m so embarrassed by the paragraphs I used to send expressing my feelings.

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep, not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Being married means mostly shouting “What?” from other rooms.

The ugliest version of me is the version that comes out when I play board games. I don’t know who she is, but she is a monster. She is not fit for human interaction.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨