Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Mayor of a small town is such a wild job. It’s like being the president of a country where you went to high school with the whole population.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

My husband said it would be easier if we had a Christmas house that we moved into in December, instead of taking all these decorations out.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Yes, I do talk to myself, everyone else just wants to argue with me.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

They should invent a person for me and me only.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Just emerged from my Y2K bunker. Everybody okay?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

I’m going spiraling, do you need anything?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

We were never supposed to have this much access to stupid people’s thoughts, beliefs, and opinions.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

I swear people go to Starbucks and just say random words. “Lemme get a grande iced mocha no foam quad soy hexagon vortex hypothesis with steamed ice”.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Dearest, I beg of you, sleep properly and go for walks.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Sperm me would be swimming in the other direction.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,468

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

Your ex is probably in a relationship, thinking about you.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Cooking your own meals really is the best way to devote 50 hours of your life every month to save $50.

Just landed via Threads:

Why do they make the wine glass so large if you’re not supposed to fill it to the top?

Going viral on WeChat:

I just want to be rich enough to stop having to pretend that I’m getting work done.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Isn’t your email address beautifulgirl@mydreams.com?

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I came. I saw. I made it awkward.

Just landed via WeChat:

I need to stop drinking so much. Did I say drinking? I meant thinking. I definitely need to drink more.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Just rolled over for a cuddle.. forgot I’m single… fell off the bed.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Can anyone recommend some basic intrusive thoughts for someone looking to get into anxiety?

Just shared via Reddit:

It doesn’t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

Doing taxes for an ant who inherited a teaspoon of sugar.

23 hours ago

Funny Quotes

Funny text about doing taxes for an ant with a tiny inheritance of sugar.

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Commentary:
Sounds like a taxing experience! 🐜💰🍭

ant, doing, humor, inheritance, sugar, tax, teaspoon

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Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on Instagram this month:

Babies will literally step on your face just to grab what they want.

81 shares on Instagram this month:

Y’all scared to be single, I’m scared to be in another pointless relationship.

29 shares on Discord this month:

This summer I’m going cicada mode: emerging briefly from my house and being really loud until I find a mate.

40 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t like people driving fast—that’s the reason why I overtake them.

51 shares on Reddit this month:

Nightmares are so embarrassing. Why is my anxiety working the night shift?

23 shares on Messenger this month:

You know you got a bad haircut when she insists on giving you a $10 discount.

32 shares on YouTube this month:

To be gentle in this world is an act of rebellion.

22 shares on Snapchat this month:

Might lay here until someone draws my chalk outline.

52 shares on Twitch this month:

What happened to the huge corporate Christmas parties you see in all the ’90s movies? Seems like that doesn’t exist at all anymore.

47 shares on Twitch this month:

Unloading the dishwasher in the opposite direction just to feel something.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

I have a question and my question is, how can I look so cute in the mirror but like such a baked potato in pictures?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

I’m intermittent fasting, so I have to finish this cake really quick before 6 pm.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Zoom is really only for one thing: realizing our dream of staring at ourselves while talking to other people.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Toddlers are like puppies, they don’t care if they’re dirty and smelly and they both have an affinity exploring the trash bin.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a boy that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Moving houses/apartments gotta be top 3 worst human experiences.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Boys are disgusting. Can’t believe I like these things.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

I’ll call it a smartphone when I yell “Where’s my phone?” and it yells back “Down here in the couch cushions!”

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

I would never put up a lost dog poster. I’m not letting the whole neighborhood know I fumbled.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Did you ever buy a pack of underwear, take them out, and think, wow, these are huge… then try them on, and they fit perfectly?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

God doesn’t do nearly enough smiting anymore.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

First caveman to see fire: Well, this is a buncha bullshit that no one needs (stomps it out) and I predict that’s the last I’ll ever see of that.

Trending via Discord:

I’ve done the math and I regret to inform you I’m your soulmate.

Going viral on Discord:

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Breaking via Pinterest:

“I’m at the age where, if I use the wrong pillow at night, it hurts to turn my head the next day.”

Shared recently on Messenger:

Today is the Mondayest Thursday that has ever been mistaken for a Friday in the history of Wednesdays.

Spotted on Reddit:

Is it fall yet? I really can’t suck my stomach in much longer.

Just landed via YouTube:

Sure the Lego botanical sets are great but dusting them is another story.

Broadcasted on X:

Just being myself is how we got into this mess.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I’m forming a Wham! cover band with 3 other bald guys called Hairless Whisper.

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Activity Log ✨

Doing taxes for an ant who inherited a teaspoon of sugar.

Had an interview today, and my belly rumbled. The lady goes, “Missed lunch?” I told her, “Nah, I’m hungry for success!”

Bugs Bunny taught me that my choices aren’t limited to fight or flight, I can also pretend I’m a pretty lady.

I dreamt this night that I had died and when I woke up, a piece of me was actually already stiff.

I think they’ve made more Kung-Fu Panda movies in the last 20 years than they’ve made actual pandas.

Cleaning the kitchen, but saw the laundry, so I watered a plant, and now I’m making a dentist appointment.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Doing taxes for an ant who inherited a teaspoon of sugar.

Keep the laugh going 😂

My most boomer complaint is that nobody knows how to bring an item out of courtesy to parties anymore.

Had an interview today, and my belly rumbled. The lady goes, “Missed lunch?” I told her, “Nah, I’m hungry for success!”

Bugs Bunny taught me that my choices aren’t limited to fight or flight, I can also pretend I’m a pretty lady.

I dreamt this night that I had died and when I woke up, a piece of me was actually already stiff.

I think they’ve made more Kung-Fu Panda movies in the last 20 years than they’ve made actual pandas.

Cleaning the kitchen, but saw the laundry, so I watered a plant, and now I’m making a dentist appointment.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨