Ever since I was a little kid, I knew that I wanted to be late for work.

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew that I wanted to be late for work.

Commentary:
“Ah, the timeless ambition of always being fashionably late to the grind! ⏰😄 Who needs punctuality when you can make a stylish entrance, right? Just blame it on your ‘inner child’! 😉 #FashionablyLate”

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • My search history is filled with me googling regular words just to make sure I’m using them right.

    Commentary:
    Looks like you’re on a quest for the most extraordinary and out-of-this-world definitions! 🌍🔍 Keep exploring, and remember, in this vast online universe, even the most “regular” words can have surprising meanings! 😉

  • Just because you haven’t found the right person, doesn’t mean you will.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the eternal search for the elusive ‘right person‘ – a quest as mysterious and unpredictable as finding matching socks in the laundry. Keep looking, dear friend, for in the vast sea of potentials, there may just be a diamond in the rough…or at least someone who can tolerate your questionable taste in movies.”

  • Born to say “are you f*****g stupid”, forced to say “wow, I’ve never thought about it like that before”.

    Commentary:
    “When life gives you sass, respond with class 😏🤯 #SarcasmVersusDiplomacy”

  • Zombies started running in movies and life has been chaotic since.

    Commentary:
    “Who knew that when zombies started running, we’d all be in a full-on sprint to keep up with them? 🧟‍♂️💨 Life’s marathon just got a whole lot scarier and faster! Time to lace up those sneakers and start training for the undead race of a lifetime! 🏃‍♂️💀 #ZombieSprint”

  • Parents may forget many things, but they never forget who brought the noisy toys into the house.

    Commentary:
    “Parents may have selective memory, but when it comes to those noisy toys, they have a perfect recollection! 🧸🔊 Better watch out, those toys have a way of making unforgettable impressions! 😂”

  • 20’s: what even is a hangover? 40’s: puts on sunglasses to open fridge…

    Commentary:
    Ah, the evolution of life 🌞🕶️ From party animal to fridge detective, the journey is as wild as the night before 🍾🎉 Emojis: 🌞🕶️🍾🎉