Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the timeless ambition of always being fashionably late to the grind! ⏰😄 Who needs punctuality when you can make a stylish entrance, right? Just blame it on your 'inner child'! 😉 #FashionablyLate"

ambition, ever, humor, i, kid, late, little, procrastination, wanted, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Perhaps the best thing about getting older is that I no longer want to know everything.

0

2 months ago

aging, best, everything, getting, getting older, humor, i, know, knowledge, lessons, life, life lessons, longer, older, self-awareness, thing, want, wisdom
It’s getting very expensive to be alive.

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2 months ago

alive, cost, expense, expensive, getting, humor, life, reality, sarcasm
It probably feels so good to ram your head into something as a cat.

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2 months ago

activity, behavior, cat, feeling, fun, fun activity, good, good feeling, head, playful, playful behavior, ram
“I have a favourite hole”, me, at the pool table.

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2 months ago

billiards, favorite, favorite hole, favourite, game, hole, humor, i, me, playful, playful remark, pool, pool table, remark, sport, table
All strapless bras need to be taken off the shelves. A total recall. We do not have the technology yet.

0

6 months ago

bra, bras, clothing, fashion, humor, need, problem, recall, shopping, strapless, strapless bra, taken, technology
Sex is great, but have you ever started slowly picking up speed after sitting in a traffic jam?

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2 months ago

activity, after, ever, great, humor, jam, picking, relationship, sex, sitting, speed, traffic

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on TikTok this month:

You should be able to call in sad to work.

84 shares on Instagram this month:

Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

78 shares on Instagram this month:

Y’all ever withheld good news so that it remains untouched by negativity?

94 shares on Instagram this month:

I just realized boobytrap backwards spells partyboob.

59 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

13 shares on X this month:

Movies in the 80s had me convinced that a main part of being a grown-up was staying late at the office and eating Chinese takeout.

57 shares on Discord this month:

The only thing faster than an escalator is an escasooner.

63 shares on Slack this month:

Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

45 shares on WeChat this month:

What have I done to deserve this? Oh yeah, right, I remember.

47 shares on Threads this month:

Ants can be found on every continent except Antarctica, which is weird considering their name.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

I gave you a follow back, not a Tinder match, don’t “Hey, beautiful” me.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

The sandwich I made for lunch didn’t even make it until 10am.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

If you like pointing out beautiful scenery to three people who are on their phones, a family road trip is for you.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

My bad for thinking everyone has common sense.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

If I was lying down and someone came up and gave me tons of kisses and smooshed my face, I’d love it. I don’t know what my cat’s problem is.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Why are those Mad Max guys always driving around, it’s not like there’s anywhere to go?

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

If you hide the Easter eggs while you’re drunk, nobody knows where they are.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

I see you liked my selfie, but what about my ideas?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

The me who snips coupons needs to communicate better with the me who walks into the stores.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

The dumbest people have the loudest opinions on politics.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

I love admitting when I’m wrong, because it gives me a break from always being right, like finally.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Hey, you should start your own business and then mind it.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

When God closes a door, he opens a window. Unfortunately, we are in a submarine.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Pretty sure the best place to hide a dead body is in a new tab you opened to read later.

Going viral on WeChat:

Men: Masters of multitasking – can watch sports, ignore laundry, and forget your birthday, all at once.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Never underestimate the healing power of not watching the news.

Just landed via TikTok:

Incorrectly is the only word that, when spelled correctly, is still spelled incorrectly.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

My life advice is always the same. Wait for karma, but take up kickboxing, just in case.

Spotted on YouTube:

I don’t want flying cars, I want the ability to start again from my last save point.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

They should invent a “stay signed in” checkbox that isn’t meaningless.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew that I wanted to be late for work.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Perhaps the best thing about getting older is that I no longer want to know everything.

It’s getting very expensive to be alive.

It probably feels so good to ram your head into something as a cat.

“I have a favourite hole”, me, at the pool table.

All strapless bras need to be taken off the shelves. A total recall. We do not have the technology yet.

Sex is great, but have you ever started slowly picking up speed after sitting in a traffic jam?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨