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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Gonna run this by my two best friends who are as insane as I am.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Going to the beach as a feet guy must be insane.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

I’d be a terrible masseuse. After 5 minutes, I’d be like, “Okay, my turn.”

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

I personally get offended when rain is referred to as “bad weather.”

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Things can feel really overwhelming. Sometimes days or even weeks can get really hectic. Don’t forget that life is all about getting as much phone time as possible. Never lose sight of that.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there’s only 365 shopping days left until Christmas.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at social gatherings.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Do people who do triathlons know that they don’t have to?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,456

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

I only obey the traffic rules to get on other peoples’ nerves.

Just shared via Twitch:

The season is back when women are 80% scarf.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

“Stop talking about old drama!” God forbid a girl and her bestie enjoy their history lessons.

Live now on TikTok:

My ducks: in a row. My elephant: addressed. My eggs: several baskets. My bigger fish: fried.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I’ve got nothing against kids, I just don’t understand why you’d want indoor kids.

Making waves on TikTok:

Gonorrhea would’ve been a great name for diarrhea medicine.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

When you’re a child, you want to be a teenager. When you’re a teenager, you want to be an adult. When you’re an adult, you want to be a cat.

Trending via Discord:

Forget Botox. If you really want to look younger, get braces.

Just landed via Slack:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked. I’m a family of 8.

Making waves on Threads:

Dear Snapchat memory, that’s not my friend anymore.

Everyone’s gangsta till you’re waiting on your dog to poop.

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Everyone’s gangsta till you’re waiting on your dog to poop.
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Commentary:
When your dog takes longer to poop than your favorite show takes for a new season… 🍿🐶⏳

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“You’re an athlete,” I whisper to myself, as I begin my third attempt to get out of the couch.

46 shares on YouTube this month:

Twitter is fun because you can tweet about hashbrowns and someone will say you are responsible for genocide.

48 shares on Reddit this month:

Nothing makes me feel more powerful than when I write ‘furthermore’ in an email.

30 shares on Twitch this month:

Can someone call my keys? I forgot where I put them.

90 shares on Telegram this month:

You can really tell somebody’s mental state by they hair.

84 shares on Reddit this month:

Me gasping and flipping off the vultures as they circle above the running track.

70 shares on YouTube this month:

Before I had kids I was only vaguely aware that Saturday had a 7am.

51 shares on WeChat this month:

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I will eventually be able to get back in the bed.

27 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sometimes I use big words I don’t always fully understand, in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.

40 shares on TikTok this month:

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I love being home and doing absolutely nothing and never contributing to society.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

“God has a plan for you!” Okay, well, I have some notes for him.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

All the smart people at the office are worried about being replaced by A.I., but not me. I’m safe until they invent Artificial Stupidity.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

My phone is like my lover, it’s the last thing I see at night, and the first thing I wake up to every morning.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand people who say “I don’t know how to thank you.” Like they never heard of money.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not sure how long my body can handle this “getting out of bed early in the morning” nonsense.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Giant-sized bag of candy: I’m resealable. Me: That won’t be necessary.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Do goalies ever get lonely during a game?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

One person’s logic is another one’s “what the heck?”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I suck at flirting. I’ll be like “is that so?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,366

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

So grateful for pillows. My head works hard, it deserves its own bed.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Strangers vomiting their beliefs all over you every day is not good for the soul.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Remember the good old days when you didn’t have to wonder if the person messaging you was a bot or not?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Even worse than the buzzing of the mosquitoes is the moment when it suddenly stops.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Isn’t it weird we have a little voice in our head, like the one you’re using to read this?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Only here for the honeymoon phase, don’t show me your true colors.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Whitening my teeth by getting a tan.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Things went well until the evil supermarket people hid my favorite products in new places.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come in to work today, I’m gonna be playing outside.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

Netflix & by yourself.

Going viral on Pinterest:

My least controversial opinion is that IKEA should have a bar. I think we were meant to consume three beers and then purchase a Gjörfbunkle.

Going bananas on Threads:

What if babies had two umbilical cords and if you cut the wrong one, it exploded?

Just shared via Telegram:

Bag of salad is the boxed wine of vegetables.

Shared recently on Reddit:

When you realize your punishments as a kid (stay home, take a nap, no junk food, go to bed early) are now your goals as an adult.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I’m so old, I used to cry as a child because I fell off my skateboard or bike, not because I didn’t have wifi.

Shared recently on Twitch:

A frightening number of young people alive today don’t know about Knight Rider.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Imagine hating me while I’m just over here being lazy and minding my own business.

Live now on Telegram:

I want to live in a world where the plural of moose is mooses.

Trending via Instagram:

Nothing prepared me for how much of my adult life would be spent hiding from people I know at the grocery store.

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