Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Whoever said “Out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear in their bedroom.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

If you’re a mad scientist, put a note in your laboratory reminding you to sometimes be a happy scientist.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

LinkedIn: where you desperately hope that one idiot you had a drink with six years ago can somehow help get you a job.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Can I just skip to the part in my life where I’m rich and happily in love?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Will probably never be loved, but I have to send emails, so I can’t really think about that right now.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

The final level of being smart is just pretending you don’t know anything to make your life easier.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

A month in Italy has halved my will to work and doubled my desire for money.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

There is no actual wolf in Wolf of Wall Street.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

If you want to hang out with me, all you have to do is ask, and I’ll say no.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

I told all my neighbors that I have a twin, so that when I see them in public I don’t have to talk to them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,577

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

Breaking news is really breaking me.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Girl, I’m bored. Let’s start drinking the daily recommended 10-15 cups of water.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

People are too judgmental these days… I can tell just by looking at them.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Alexa, play everyone that played me.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I can feel your energy from two planets away.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

A lobotomy and a forehead kiss would fix everything.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Cigarette smell gotta be one of the worst smells in the history of smells.

Going viral on Threads:

A spiral is just a circle that’s afraid of closure.

Freshly posted on Threads:

My phone and it’s charger are in a situationship and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

You know when you tap a video to see how long it’s got left? I wish you could do that to people while they’re talking.

First date idea: I lean in close and surprise you with a wet willy.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, if your goal is to make a lasting impression, giving a wet willy might just do the trick! 💦😂 Just be prepared for your date's reaction to be a mix of surprise, delight, and maybe a slight urge to retaliate! 👉👂 But hey, who said first dates have to be conventional, right? 🤷‍♂️🤪

close, date, first date, funny idea, humor, i, idea, lean, playful, surprise, wet, wet willy, willy

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on Facebook this month:

The sexiest woman you know is trying to maintain her balance between insanity and genius.

11 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Why is it cute when a baby falls asleep clutching a bottle. Yet, when I do it, it’s “concerning”?

87 shares on Threads this month:

Hey, I’ve been thinking, and I think you should think for me.

85 shares on Threads this month:

Perhaps the best thing about getting older is that I no longer want to know everything.

83 shares on X this month:

I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

75 shares on Reddit this month:

My addiction to buying things I don’t need started at the school book fair.

85 shares on Twitch this month:

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

65 shares on X this month:

The elderberry is the wisest and most knowledgeable of all the berries.

81 shares on Threads this month:

We all have that one coworker whose sole purpose is to reduce our life expectancy by ten years.

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Nothing guarantees running into someone you know in public better than looking like a feral animal on two hours of sleep.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Not me out here checking the growth progress of my potted flowers only a couple hours after I planted the seeds in the first place.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Used shampoo containing caffeine. My hair is already on its way to work.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Saturday nights are for watching zombie shows and dreaming about the apocalypse.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Never go to bed angry. Stay up and finish the argument like an adult.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The most unrealistic part of Christmas movies isn’t the existence of Santa… it’s that all these people have, like, a month off work with no interruptions.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t even think straight knowing a package got delivered while I’m not home.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Every cat is a little celebrity to me.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Experts say that human interaction is important for brain health but I’m willing to risk it.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing makes me feel more powerful than when I write ‘furthermore’ in an email.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My nephew asks so many questions that Alexa just told him it’s okay to bathe with the toaster.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,727

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

I’ve named my couch American Idle.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

According to a new study, people who often trail off in the middle of a sentence are 30% more likely to

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Once you understand why pizza is made round, packed in square boxes, and eaten as a triangle, then you will understand women.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Plants are like “I’ll have a light lunch.”

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Since I’ve stayed away from most people, I get on much better with people.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

I really cannot be friends with picky eaters because it somehow always correlates to bigger problems and character flaws.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

How did Satoshi write the code of Bitcoin before Claude?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Accordion to current studies, 90% of you did not realize that this sentence started with a musical instrument.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Weight gain makes me sad. Luckily, eating cheers me right back up.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Sometimes I’m out in public and I have to look down real quick to make sure I remembered to put on pants.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

I just went to Crazy Town, and they said you’re a local legend.

Going viral on WeChat:

To save money in this economy, I’ve tried eating out and I’ve tried cooking at home. The answer is starvation.

Just landed via Facebook:

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

Just shared via Telegram:

My youngest had a mandatory drugs and alcohol lecture today at school, and he still can’t mix a proper drink.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Back in the office this morning, trying to remember what I do for work.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

As a dad, you’re required to ask your neighbor “You gonna do mine next?” when you see them raking leaves.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Aging isn’t even 1% as scary as whatever is going on with the people trying not to.

Just landed via Slack:

No more fun facts. I want to know what your last nightmare was about.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Death cannot harm me more than you have harmed me, my beloved life.

Going viral on X:

Why steal office supplies from work when you could take an extra-long bathroom break and steal company time instead?

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