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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

I bet being full feels so good for the moon.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

I don’t really like the song “I’ve Got a Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas, but I just like the part where they say “Mazel Tov.”

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

I’m a credit card, cause I’m always being used or denied.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Any cults got something wild planned anytime soon? I’m trying to find the good estate sales.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

A dating app to meet other people with low IQ called OK Stupid.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

All my life lessons were learned by watching people who took my advice.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

I feel sorry for non-glasses wearers. They’ll never know the joy of cleaning them and suddenly being upgraded to the UHD package.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

I’ve left my past behind me, so if I owe you money, sorry, I’ve left it behind me.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

That moment when a zombie out for brains walks past you.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

I don’t hate you, but I hope you run out of hot water before you’re finished your shower.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

Updated

5 minutes ago

Users Online

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Men be like “I would do anything for you” and then do nothing.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Every day Facebook tells me I have memories and wants to show them to me. It’s like they have no appreciation for the cost or the amount of liquor I needed to erase them.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

As long as you’re still fishing fruit flies out of your drink, you’re not drunk.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Every room can be a room with a view when I’m in it.

Making waves on Twitch:

How do I gracefully leave this party early but also take the queso dip with me?

Live now on X:

Twitter is cool because you can figure out what’s going on in the world through memes instead of watching the news.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Nobody sighs louder than an unemployed, debt-free dog who spends at least 16 hours a day sleeping.

Spotted on Slack:

At my age, you check a friend’s Facebook page to make sure they’re still alive before wishing them a happy birthday.

Spotted on WeChat:

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren’t happy.

Trending via Twitch:

I have two reactions when I leave the house: Ew, the people. Ew, the weather.

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Funny acquaintance quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

Updated

5 minutes ago

Users Online

3,424

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Incredibly annoying that exercising, eating right, and drinking water can make you actually feel good.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

So proud of my ancestors for crawling out of the sea and evolving lungs. Pretty disappointed in them ever since though.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Christmas combines two things I love the most, getting fat and lying to children.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

The only thing limiting what you can put in a sandwich is your imagination and the laws of physics.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

I may be the reason why our kids are ugly, but you’re the reason why they’re stupid.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Spending 5 minutes looking up every word I want to use in a sentence to make sure I can define it in case they ask.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

The most surprising part of adulthood is parenting your parents.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Senility is the pits. Spent an hour driving around the mall parking lot looking for my car.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Dear people who talk on speakerphone out in public. Everyone around you hates you.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Toilets are not a crime scene, traces may be removed!

Spotted on X:

That’s me in the corner eating Nutella with a spoon.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Can someone please fix the algorithm of my life?

Making waves on Telegram:

The funniest thing about Batman is that he legitimately doesn’t give a shit about crime that happens during the day.

Making waves on WeChat:

The concept of a drive-by doesn’t really exist in the swamp biome; instead, people rap about doing bog-emerges.

Freshly posted on X:

Nicole Kidman being in a film called Babygirl is actually perfect cause it’s like another version of her last name.

Live now on Threads:

If the universe is continuing to expand then why does my rent keep going up?

Just landed via X:

People make the mistake of keeping aubergines in the fridge, when in fact they should be kept in the bin.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I hope the ghost of Michael Jackson Hee-Hee’s in your ear while you tryna sleep.

Just shared via Telegram:

Good morning to everyone except my baby, who already said good morning to me at 1 a.m., 3 a.m., and 5:46 a.m.

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