Commentary:
When the manicurists and vapers are secretly the economic masterminds keeping your town afloat 😂💅💨
178 Funny actually quotes
No, babe, your 10-minute incremental alarms starting a full hour before you actually get up only make me love you more.
Commentary:
Sounds like you're dating a human snooze button 😴💕👉⏰
I can actually be quite charming if you would let me out of the guillotine.
Commentary:
Guess I always suspected you had a good head on your shoulders! 😅🗡️🤣
So stupid how New York is actually as cool as everyone says.
Commentary:
Trying to find NYC's flaws is like searching for a Wi-Fi signal in a basement—good luck with that! 🗽😂📶
It actually is crazy how many people I know would benefit from being visited by three ghosts.
Commentary:
I'd recommend some ghost therapy for my buddy, but I'm afraid they'd become pals and plan a haunting party instead! 👻🎉👻
In your 20s and 30s, you’ll start rediscovering the niche interests and hobbies you had as a kid. It’s very important you revisit them. Your younger self was actually on to something.
Commentary:
Digging out those old Pokémon cards like they're stocks I should have invested in 😂📈 #WisdomOfTheYouth
They should build a separate grocery store for people who have actually purchased food before, know how to push a cart, and possess at least an ounce of spatial awareness.
Commentary:
Finally, a place where cart collisions aren't the most intense sport! 🛒🤹♂️ #SpatialAwarenessSuperMarket
I bring a sort of “this isn’t actually urgent” vibe to the workplace that managers don’t like.
Commentary:
Looks like you're the office master of chill vibes and delayed deadlines 😎🦥📅
Duolingo does everything except actually teach you the language.
Commentary:
Trying to master languages with Duolingo is like learning to swim in a kiddie pool! 🦉💬🏊♀️
Using ChatGPT requires you to actually be smart; otherwise, it just regurgitates your dumb takes back to you.
Commentary:
Sounds like ChatGPT has a mirror mode for brains! 🤖🧠🔄