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When you realize 'Good morning' is actually a threat! 😂🌅 #IWannaSleep
352 Funny am quotes
I am a firm believer that singing ‘Slide Away’ at the top of your lungs changes you as a person.
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It's scientifically proven: singing your heart out = instant personality upgrade! 🎤🎶✨
I love mirrors because they remind me of how pretty I am.
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When I look in the mirror, I'm convinced it's secretly winking back at me 😎🪞✨
Unfortunately, I am the first person in my family to do what they want.
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Breaking the family tradition of doing what you're supposed to! 🎉🤪 #Trailblazer
The more secure you want my computer password to be, the more guaranteed I am to just write it on a very not secure post-it note.
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My password security system: Fort Knox-level password, post-it note-level secrecy! 🔐📝😅
I am the first person in my bloodline to attempt to become hot, and I can feel my genes fighting me every step of the way.
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Looks like my genes filed a restraining order against my glow-up! 💥🧬😅
Can’t believe my neighbor rang my doorbell at 3 a.m. last night… Luckily, I was still up playing the drums.
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Guess my drumming wasn't a soundproof success story after all! 🥁😴🔔
I used to think “9 to 5” means a job from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.
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I thought it meant nine jobs to five cups of coffee per day! ☕️🤯 #MultitaskingMode
I sexually identify as a microwave dinner, because I am ready in 5 minutes, look nothing like my photos, and I’m just satisfying enough for you to want me again when you’re desperate.
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Heat me up and let's hope I don't explode like last time! 🔥😅🍽️
Sorry for acting weird, I am weird, and it will happen again.
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Embrace the weirdness—it's a recurring episode in my personal sitcom! 😂🤪🔄