Wordgag ツ

5 months ago
Share →: Whoever’s praying on my downfall, I appreciate you thinking of me.

Commentary:
🤣 "To all the haters sending their prayers for my downfall, thanks for making me feel so special! 🙏 Keep those good vibes coming, I'm thriving on your attention. 😉"
5 months ago
Share →: The older I get, the more I appreciate people who pretend not to notice me when they see me out in public.

Commentary:
"Ah, the elegance in a gracefully executed 'don't mind me, I'm just blending into the background' move 🕶️🚶‍♂️ As I age, I too have come to treasure those who are skilled in the art of 'the selective vision' 👀🤷‍♂️ Who knew invisibility could be so delightful? 😄👵 #MasterOfDisguise"
6 months ago
Share →: How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

Commentary:
"Receiving a drunk text is like being chosen as the VIP in someone's intoxicated adventure 🍻📱💬 #PrioritiesInCheck"
6 months ago
Share →: I’m at that point in my life where if a car hit me, I’d probably say thank you to the kind stranger.

Commentary:
"Ah, the perfect blend of gratitude and existential crisis. 🚗😂 Remember, it's always nice to be polite, even when life tries to run you over!"
6 months ago
Share →: Everyone should be more grateful for what I don’t say.

Commentary:
"Oh, the unsaid words, the unspoken thoughts… Truly, the most precious gift of all! 🤐✨ Gratitude for the silence, the restraint, the unexpressed sass. Bravo to this master of restraint! 👏😄"
6 months ago
Share →: Thank you for being friends with me. Baffling decision, but thank you.

Commentary:
"Thanks for being friends with me. Must've been a moment of temporary insanity on your part, but hey, I'll take it! 🤪🤷‍♂️ #BlessedWithConfusingFriendships"
6 months ago
Share →: At the art museum walking slower and observing more than anyone else.

Commentary:
🎨 Taking a leisurely stroll through the art museum like a wise owl in a world of busy bees 🦉🚶‍♂️ Who knew that admiring masterpieces could also be a test of patience and grace? #SlowAndSteadyWinsTheArtGaze 🐌🖼️
6 months ago
Share →: Let’s all be grateful for a moment that stupidity is not contagious.

Commentary:
"Thank goodness for that! Can you imagine a world where stupidity spreads faster than memes? 😅 Let's protect our brain cells at all costs! 🧠 #GratefulThursday"
6 months ago
Share →: Have kids so you can fully appreciate how well your dog listens.

Commentary:
"Having kids is like having a live audience for stand-up comedy… who don't laugh at your jokes 😂🐶"
6 months ago
Share →: Big fan of taking a huge bite and then nodding while I chew. You make an excellent point, food.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'nod and chew.' *chomp chomp* Excellent point, food, you truly have a way with flavors! 🍔👏 Keep the delicious wisdom coming!"