Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

I don’t understand the concept of “the man of your dreams”. Every time my wife wakes up after dreaming about me, she is really pissed off about something dream me did.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Toys R Us went out of business because their mascot was a stupid giraffe when it could’ve been a toy dinosaur called the Toysaurus. It was right there man.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

That moment when you have to restart a song because the conversations in your head got too loud and you missed half the song.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

I assume my soulmate has sold his soul to the devil.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Being a sleepy girl with a busy life is so hard.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

I wonder if the scariest moment ever in history has happened yet.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

This salad tastes like I’d rather be fat.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Happiness is an inside job.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Menstruation is bizarre. It’s like something David Lynch would have came up with.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,553

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you miss your wife enough.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

His hands wouldn’t stop talking to me, your honor.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

The sound of rain outside when you’re in bed is elite.

Just landed via Slack:

A swear jar for Twitter would end world hunger.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Smart people are like huskies. If you don’t give them an interesting problem, they become an interesting problem.

Freshly posted on Slack:

The internet is fun because you can post about mayonnaise and somehow end up in a fight.

Spotted on Messenger:

The best weight you’ll ever lose is the weight of other people’s opinions.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

364 days until Christmas, and people already have decorations up. Unbelievable.

Just landed via X:

The question I ask myself most often is, “What would a jury think about this?”

Just landed via Discord:

Santa: “Don’t leave me milk. Leave me whiskey.”

35 Funny babe quotes

Funny babe quotes are the perfect way to add a splash of humor and charm to your day 😄💖 Whether you’re texting your crush or just need a laugh, these cheeky lines bring smiles and good vibes 🌟😂 Get ready to sprinkle some sass and sweetness into your conversations and watch the fun unfold! 💬🔥

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Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t usually think about what I say before I say it. I prefer to think about it after I’ve said it, late at night, for the rest of my life.

89 shares on Slack this month:

Someone yelled “hey, retard!” and I looked back.

47 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t know what millennial needs to hear this, but throw away the box your phone came in. You don’t need it. You will never need it.

85 shares on Snapchat this month:

Ctrl Alt delete my fat.

20 shares on Instagram this month:

It really annoys me when people use the wrong word and don’t have the humidity to admit it.

65 shares on TikTok this month:

Immediately de-escalating an international conflict by posting an angry looking selfie with the caption “Come on, guys.”

35 shares on X this month:

Taking a Hooters waitress on a date to a different Hooters on her night off.

69 shares on Reddit this month:

After hearing that I have too many books and too many bookshelves, I’ve decided to cut back on the amount of people I listen to.

64 shares on Slack this month:

Parenting is yelling ‘you just had a snack!’ over and over until you give in and throw them another snack.

35 shares on Reddit this month:

Pornhub be like “Your phone got a virus,” bro, just play the bloody video.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean that it ain’t gonna be a hell of a lot of fun.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Tonight we shall read a passage from the old testicle.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Your fingers have fingertips, but your toes don’t have toetips. Yet, you can tiptoe but not tipfinger.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m sure it’ll turn up” – Translation: I’m bored of helping you look.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. Simple meth.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My grandad fought Germans on the beaches of Normandy. This was last summer and it was very embarrassing.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

There is too much money in the world for me to be broke.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If Facebook has taught us anything it’s that a lot of people aren’t quite ready for a spelling bee.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My back and I are definitely not the same age.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I didn’t get you an anniversary card, babe, but you opted in to paperless affection on our third date.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,620

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Occupation: the ugly friend!

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

I didn’t lose an hour of sleep. The hour of sleep lost me.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Nobody victim blames more than my oldest son when he’s in trouble for punching his little brother.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

I don’t understand all the fuss about ChatGPT – I have teenagers who already know everything.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Sometimes when I get negative feedback I’m like “Hey, only I get to talk to myself that way”.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

I would like to unsubscribe from all responsibilities, please and thank you.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Stopping a complete stranger on the street and saying, “Let’s end this little charade.”

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

I’m in my thirties, but I still feel like I am in my twenties; then I hang out with people in their twenties, and I’m like nope, definitely in my thirties.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I just think we should kiss. And kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss. But that’s just me.

Trending via Messenger:

He had the nerve to call me pretty. I’m gorgeous.

Shared recently on Slack:

Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.

Going viral on Slack:

Having a crush is so fun, it’s literally just butterflies and delusion.

Just landed via Twitch:

When life closes a door, just open it again. It’s a door, that’s how they work.

Seen just now on Facebook:

If I were a higher power, and people were doing evil in my name, I’d probably stop it … but that’s just me.

Breaking via TikTok:

I firmly believe that at this point my guardian angel is just eating popcorn and watching the drama.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Can’t believe, as a kid, I thought 21-year-olds had their lives figured out.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

He probably could have just called himself “Andre.” I think I would have figured out The Giant part on my own.

Making waves on Twitch:

I’m in favor of sticking an “out of order” sign on some people’s foreheads. As a warning.

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