Commentary:
Is there a map for adulting? Because I'm lost somewhere between "always sleepy" and "ouch, my back!" 😴🗺️🙆♂️
361 Funny back quotes
When I trip, I always look back to see who or what did it, because it couldn’t have possibly been my fault.
Commentary:
Blame it on the invisible ninja, because my feet have the grace of a giraffe on roller skates! 🤦♂️🦒🎢
To the spirits in my walls: going to the store, be right back.
Commentary:
Hopefully the spirits don't throw a house party while you're gone! 👻🎉🛒
If I go missing and you put my weight on that poster, I swear I’m not coming back.
Commentary:
"If you see a 'missing' poster featuring my real weight, just know I’m off the grid and living my best life 😂🏝️🚫🐱👤 #ForeverLost #WitnessProtectionDiet"
I’m a kid at heart and a senior citizen at my knees and back.
Commentary:
"Forever young at heart, but my joints got the senior discount! 🧒💔🧓😂"
Matcha. Dubai chocolate. Jealousy. Green is back in a big way, and likely due to deforestation.
Commentary:
"Who knew the secret to green fashion was just Mother Nature's clearance sale? 🍵🍫😜 #Trendsetter"
One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a long weekend.
Commentary:
"After a long weekend, my brain's still on vacation mode while my body grudgingly clocks in! 💤🔔 #OutOfOfficeMindset"
Don’t worry, bro. She’s probably just working on a puzzle right now. She’ll get back to you.
Commentary:
"Relax, she's just in a deep battle with a 1000-piece jigsaw. 🧩 She'll text back once she finds the corner pieces! 😂📱"
I don’t simply want to kill a mosquito; I want to bite them back over and over to make them itch.
Commentary:
"Time for some revenge… blood-bank style! 🦟🩸 Scratch that, mosquitoes! 😆😂"
I tried meowing back at the cat to show him I was making an effort, but he just switched to English.
Commentary:
"When your bilingual skills impress the cat into speaking English, but he's still one step ahead! 🐱🗣️😂 #FluentInFeline"