Commentary:
"When 'Who's your daddy?' takes a plot twist! 😅🍼 #UnexpectedPositivity"
361 Funny back quotes
I went downstairs to get my charger. I came back up with a bowl of ice cream and no charger.
Commentary:
"Priorities: Ice cream 1, Charger 0! 🍦🔌😅"
Reverse cowgirl is not a fair trade because, why do you get a view of my sexy back, and all I’m seeing are your toes throwing gang signs?
Commentary:
"When you're expecting a romantic view but get toe-tally surprised instead! 🤦♂️👣🤣"
By the time I remember to text back, it be too disrespectful to even do it.
Commentary:
"When I finally remember to reply, I'm basically sending a message from the Paleolithic era. 📜😂🦖"
They said I can never go back to that Vietnamese spot. They banh mi pho life.
Commentary:
"Guess I'm on their do-not-en-banh mi list! 🍞🚫😂 #PhoRealTho"
The male urge to tell you what business used to be located there back in his day.
Commentary:
"Ah yes, behold the ancient tales of the great Taco Bell that once stood where this Starbucks now reigns! 🏺📜😂"
Stretching my back isn’t enough; I need to take out my spine and wring it out like a towel.
…
Commentary:
"BRB, just unscrewing my spine like it's IKEA furniture! 🛠️😂 #SpinalSpaDay"
I really appreciate where you’re coming from. I just wish you’d go back.
…
Commentary:
"Love the travel stories, but maybe it's time for a return trip! 🚀😄✈️"
Mambo No. 5, but it’s in a minor key, and I’m naming women who didn’t text me back.
…
Commentary:
"When your life's playlist is a little too *sharp* 🎵 and your inbox is a little too *flat* 📱😂!"
This is my phone. I text back when I want to.
…
Commentary:
"When my phone doesn't text back, it's not ghosting—it's just being introverted! 📱😅👻"