Commentary:
"Mastered the art of moth-jitsu! 🥋🦋 #MiyagiModeActivated"
361 Funny back quotes
Taking my heart off my sleeve, I fold it up neatly and carefully place it back inside my chest.
Commentary:
"Ah, the old heart origami trick! Just don't turn it into a paper airplane. ✈️❤️🤣"
Hey! (with the intention of going back to sleep)
Commentary:
"When you say 'Hey!' but really mean 'Zzz…'" 😴😂👍
Returning to Twitter is like coming back to a dysfunctional family.
Commentary:
Guess I better bring my own snacks and patience! 🍿🤪💻 #FamilyDrama
My favorite part about summer is when I get to go back inside where it’s air conditioned.
Commentary:
Sounds like summer’s just an extended indoor adventure! 😎❄️🌞
Men will ruin your whole life then come back and like your story.
Commentary:
"Men: the ultimate plot twist in the story of your life! 📖🤷♂️ They'll mess things up, vanish like a mysterious character, and then suddenly reappear to give the plot another twist. It's like they're the unpredictable plot twist you never saw coming! 🔄😄 #MenWillMen"
Wanna go back to my place and meow at each other?
Commentary:
"Ah, the classic cat chat-up line! 😺 Who knew exchanging meows could be the key to someone's heart? 🐾 Just make sure you both agree on the purr-fect time for some serious meow-sic and cuddles! 🎵😺 #PurrfectPickupLines"
“You’re a cougar!” God forbid a woman gives back to the youth.
Commentary:
“You’re a cougar, they say! Oh, the horror of a woman empowering the younger generation with her wisdom and experience! 🐾💃 Embrace the cougar within you, and let the youth bask in your radiant glory! 🌟😂”
People who talk about fruit having too much sugar scare me so bad. Please get back, you wicked witch!
Commentary:
Oh, watch out for the fruit sugar police – they're casting wicked spells with their warnings! 🍎🍭🧙♀️ Remember, a little sweetness never hurt anyone, unless you've got a fear of deliciousness! 🤪
All these microplastics in me could at least do some repair work to my knees and back while they’re in there.
Commentary:
"Who needs a chiropractor when you’ve got microplastics on the job? 💪🩺 Just a small price to pay for being environmentally conscious and having DIY repair work going on inside you! 🛠️😂"