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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡­ has bookmarked:

I hate everyone in front of me at this checkout line, everyone behind me is cool.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡© has viewed:

Starting to think I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡¦ has shared:

It’s always β€œyou’re so cute when you’re mad,” until the house is on fire.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Έ has copied:

Don’t worry. You’re exactly where you should be in life. Because you’ve made horrible choices.

Someone from πŸ‡΄πŸ‡² has copied:

Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡· has downloaded:

There should be a zoo that has people from every country in it.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ͺ has copied:

If your name is “Guy”, you have lazy parents.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Έ has shared:

Nighty night! Don’t let the horror of existence bite.

Someone from πŸ‡«πŸ‡· has viewed:

If you fall asleep long enough, the steering wheel gives you a pillow.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡§ has copied:

Maybe if I spend another day alone in my room then something life-changing will suddenly happen to me!?

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

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823 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,985

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13,927

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10,985

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Social Media Log πŸ’«

Shared recently on TikTok:

Please, Tinder, add AI to your app. I don’t want to be involved in the modern dating experience. Let a robot do it for me. Let the machines suffer in our place.

Going viral on Discord:

Twitter is like group therapy but everyone’s yelling and no one’s licensed.

Shared recently on Threads:

If my memory gets any worse, I’ll be able to plan my own surprise party.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

The older I get, the more I appreciate people who pretend not to notice me when they see me out in public.

Spotted on TikTok:

EatΡ–ng Ρ–n bed Ρ–s much better. EverythΡ–ng’s a napkΡ–n.

Reported on Instagram:

How do I get someone to unknow me? I no longer want to be known by these people.

Shared recently on YouTube:

In a parallel universe, there’s a happy me.

Live now on YouTube:

If you find my upper lip mole sexy, wait till you see the dark spot on my MRI.

Reported on X:

I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Hungry me has no respect for bathroom scale me.

Home Β» Funny Confession Quotes Β» Page 2

14 Funny confession quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

823 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,985

Funny Quotes Topics

13,927

Funny Quotes Images

10,985

Updated

48 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month πŸš€

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡§ has copied:

Babymaking music but it’s the Benny Hill theme song.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡ͺ has bookmarked:

A beaver is an otter that has studied architecture.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ή has shared:

Mom asked me what I was drinking the first time I got drunk and I said β€œbreast milk” and now she’s not talking to me.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡² has shared:

Hey man, your fly is down. Let me get that for you.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡ͺ has bookmarked:

Japan’s greatest tragedy is having the world’s best toilets and no Mexican food. What’s the point of owning a Ferrari if you never take it to the track?

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ό has viewed:

You’re an adult. You can do what you want. Wait…You have kids? Never mind.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡½ has downloaded:

Self-cleaning conscience.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡½ has shared:

Whoever came up with the name wallpaper really nailed it.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡© has downloaded:

Be yourself cause no one wants to be like you!

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ή has shared:

April Fool’s next week and still no one has asked me to be their fool.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

No, they’re not “symptoms of depressions.” They’re Blue’s Clues.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Being a woman is trying to guess what the hell is going on with your body three times a week.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Throwing someone under the bus sounds hard, let’s just sell ’em down the river and call it a day.

Reported on Pinterest:

Only difference between me and someone in a psych ward is I’m outside.

Making waves on Facebook:

One day I will start learning from my mistakes. Today is not that day. Tomorrow isn’t looking so good either.

Breaking via Instagram:

It’s not too early to go to sleep. Too early only applies to waking up.

Just shared via WeChat:

The more I insisted marshmallows were vegetables, the angrier my doctor got.

Reported on Twitch:

I may forget what I opened the fridge for but I remember every time anyone has ever wronged me.

Making waves on Telegram:

It took me 5 minutes to do something I’ve been stressing about for 6 months. I will learn nothing from this.

Making waves on YouTube:

January is the Monday of the year.

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