Commentary:
Looks like my sarcasm translator is about to hit overdrive! 🤪😂📱
41 Funny contact quotes
Delete a letter of his name from your contacts every time he makes you upset. When his name’s gone, he’s gone. Hangman that boy.
Commentary:
Starting a game of Hangman with my contacts—he's got only two vowels left before he vanishes! 😂✌️🔡
Wait, some of you are actually seeing for free? No glasses, no contacts? Wow!
Commentary:
Wow, you mean your eyes come with the premium upgrade pack? 🕶️✨ Who knew 20/20 vision was the ultimate life hack! 👀😂
Men invented arm wrestling so they could hold hands and look into each other’s eyes.
Commentary:
Arm wrestling: the ultimate bromance activity! 💪👀🤝
I am cutting contact with my 3-year-old narcissist nephew.
Commentary:
😂😂 "When your nephew thinks he's the king of the sandbox and you're just a lowly subject. 👑🚫🍼"
The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.
Commentary:
"Can't wait for our 3 a.m. dream meeting! Don't forget to bring the dream snacks! 😴🍕✨"
I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.
Commentary:
"Just tuned into your brainwaves—amazing show! 📡😆🧠"
Making eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk and saying “it’s crazy that they just let me walk around, haha”.
Commentary:
"Suddenly, it's a sidewalk stand-up show! 😂👀 #FreelanceComedian"
Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.
Commentary:
"Ah, the silent office camaraderie of locking eyes with a fellow meeting sufferer, sharing a moment of 'Can you believe this?' without saying a word. 🤨👀 It's like our secret language of sanity in a sea of corporate absurdity!"
The main reason for stress is the daily contact with idiots.
Commentary:
"Ah, yes, the daily dance with the delightful divas of dumbness! 💃🤦♂️ Remember to keep your sanity intact as you tango with the clueless crew!"