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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

I wish I was as tired at bedtime as I am at 2 p.m. on any given day.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

As a parent of a teenage daughter, I would like to formally apologize to my parents for my tube-top and low-rise jeans era.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Apple, who gives you permission to turn the brightness down again when I’ve just turned it up?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

I don’t remember if I took my pills, but I can’t check because I can’t remember where I put my glasses.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

It’s so hot, I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

The secret to being a private person is to overshare dumb shit so people think you are an open book but then not tell them any of the important details of your life.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

I make sure to post my political opinions after my selfies have gone viral to cull the herd.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

There’s a rhyming Italian expression for saying “take it or leave it” that goes “o mangi questa minestra o salti dalla finestra”. It means “either eat this soup or throw yourself out the window”.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

I swear, one more minor inconvenience and I’m running away to join the circus.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I can’t come over tonight. I’ve become too invested in these fictional characters and whether or not they will kiss.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,782

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

Microdosing bungee jumping by bending over to pick up a hair tie.

Trending via Threads:

The possibility of monsters residing underneath your bed is negated when the mattress is positioned on the floor.

Just shared via Discord:

I decided to be me and now we have a problem.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

The older I get, the more I understand why deer run in front of cars.

Spotted on Reddit:

The problem is that you are in the dating pool when the other fish are in the ocean.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I’m not really a “glass half full” kind of person. I’m more of a “Where’d I put my glass?” kind of person.

Breaking via Pinterest:

One of the most disappointing things is when you get a severe thunderstorm warning, and there is no severe thunderstorm.

Just landed via Twitch:

Imagine she’s home alone, bored out of her mind, and she STILL won’t put that laundry away. She is me.

Spotted on TikTok:

I’m always a little mean to men because, if you treat them like humans, they think you wanna sleep with them.

Just landed via Twitch:

I avoid drama by being unpopular.

Funny cremated quotes

Funny cremated quotes bring a lighthearted twist to a serious topic 🔥💀 Whether you’re looking to spark laughter at a memorial or just enjoy some dark humor, these witty sayings turn ashes into smiles 😄✨ Embrace the unexpected with humor that’s both clever and comforting—because sometimes, a little laughter is the best way to remember and celebrate life’s final chapter! 🎉🕯️

New funny cremated quotes 👇

All funny cremated quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on Threads this month:

He took my last fry, your honor.

31 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I like how the Tooth Fairy got the job, and then subbed it out to everyone’s parents. That’s called “business savvy.”

62 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

78 shares on X this month:

As I’m cleaning my room, this is a friendly reminder that you actually don’t need that free t-shirt or tote bag from that event.

50 shares on WeChat this month:

Just bought a new umbrella for the person that finds it tomorrow.

92 shares on WeChat this month:

Autocorrect has become our worst enema.

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Mind if I crawl into your DMs and stay there for a while?

45 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’ve broken all my New Year’s Resolutions so now I’m moving on to laws of nature.

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

The enemy of my enemy is my friend. But I’m my own worst enemy, so I guess I’m also my best friend.

25 shares on Messenger this month:

Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Lost another rap battle by just agreeing with everything the other guy said.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

It was me, I let the dogs out.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

You have 8 hours remaining to create shareholder value.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody says “boom shakalaka” like they used to.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Telling your child their sibling is still asleep a very effective way to get them to practice their instrument.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Anytime someone comments on my weight, I try to ignore them and keep my chins up.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Liking a post I don’t understand just to impress the algorithm.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

“Why does my back always hurt?”, I say, while never sitting upright in a chair.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

A weighted blanket isn’t enough today, I need to be compressed into a zip-file.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,591

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

When you think about it, Jesus really accomplished a lot in the four months between Christmas and Easter.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Hate when I have to be mean. Why would you push a sweet girl this far?

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

That pen in the junk drawer that hasn’t been used in four years picked today to have an attitude.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Imagine applying for a job, then not picking up calls from random numbers.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

I would love to go back to the days when the biggest stress was finding the best hiding place when playing hide and seek.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

My rock bottom keeps refreshing.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

“This is a great weekend to clean out the garage,” according to my wife and other people who won’t be cleaning the garage.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

When kids try to guess your age it will either be completely flattering or utterly devastating, but never correct.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Googled my symptoms and it turns out it’s just the politics.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

It’s actually scary how your whole life depends on how well you did as a teenager.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

What would boomers do without their paper shredder?

Trending via Twitch:

People will be like “Nobody cares about your Spotify Wrapped,” and then post a picture of their baby.

Spotted on Messenger:

Can you put some pants on my voodoo doll and pop some money in the pocket, please?

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Offering people sitting on the bus my standing room. Like it’s better.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I’m sorry I said “Awooga” when you took off your clothes. Do you still want to have sexy time?

Trending via LinkedIn:

Gang initiations from the Midwest be like “you have to eat the entire potato salad.”

Breaking via Twitch:

Whenever I close an app and immediately open it back up, I really feel how dire it all is.

Just shared via X:

My wife had a dream that I have a secret second wife named Linda. Now, when she’s mad at me, I just say, “Linda wouldn’t get mad about that.”

Making waves on Discord:

The only thing Flat Earthers have to fear is sphere itself.

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