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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

At my age, you check a friend’s Facebook page to make sure they’re still alive before wishing them a happy birthday.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Time to put the stressful screen away (phone) and switch to the comfort screen (Kindle).

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

People say opposites attract, but I say find a partner who’s deranged in the same ways you are and double your capacity to be annoying.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

The secret to being able to buy whatever you want is not wanting much.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

The final level of being smart is just pretending you don’t know anything to make your life easier.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

I told a joke during a Zoom meeting today. Nobody laughed. It turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Our house is so messy that if we ever disappeared, the police would have no idea if there were “signs of a struggle”.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Enjoy it now because you’re only going to get older and fatter.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

“Twister 3” should be told from a cow’s POV.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Dec 30, 2025

3,809

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

We should be able to call in healthy: “I feel amazing today, and I’m not wasting it at work.”

Making waves on Instagram:

Dear ads, I have the buying power of a Victorian milkmaid.

Spotted on Threads:

The streets are not for me. I belong in an enchanted forest, eating berries, and talking to my animal friends.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Kinda in the mood to let my feelings impair my judgement.

Live now on Messenger:

To the person who stole my place in the queue. I’m after you now.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Just paid my rent, now I have a warm place to starve in.

Just landed via Discord:

I think when girls start liking pink again, it means they’re healing.

Breaking via TikTok:

Too young to retire, too poor to quit and too fat to strip – so let’s move on.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I got my superpowers when I was bitten by a radioactive idiot.

Making waves on Discord:

Why is it that your clothes only get caught on the door handle when you’re in a bad mood?

Funny devastating quotes

Funny devastating quotes bring that perfect mix of laughter and facepalm moments 🤯😂 They capture life’s harsh truths with a witty twist, making you chuckle even when things feel a little rough. Ready to laugh through the chaos and embrace the irony? Let’s dive into some hilariously brutal wisdom that’s equal parts savage and smart! 💥🤣✨

New funny devastating quotes 👇

To everyone who wrote “stay cool” in my year book, I have some devastating news.

0

2 months ago

book, cool, devastating, devastating news, everyone, humor, i, irony, news, stay, stay cool, year, year book
Have come to the devastating realization that I am an over-nodder on video calls.

0

2 months ago

am, call, calls, devastating, funny observation, humor, i, interaction, meeting, observation, online, online meeting, over-nodder, realization, social, social interaction, video, video call
Probably the worst thing about the death of print media is the devastating effect it’s having on the producers of traditional ransom notes.

0

2 months ago

communication, death, devastating, effect, having, humor, irony, media, note, notes, print, print media, producers, ransom, ransom note, satire, thing, traditional, traditional media, worst
I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.

0

2 months ago

devastating, everything, home, humor, husband, kitchen, memory, organization, rearranging, relationship, used, where
When kids try to guess your age it will either be completely flattering or utterly devastating, but never correct.

0

2 months ago

age, ageism, compliments, devastating, flattering, guessing, humor, kids, perception

All funny devastating quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on Snapchat this month:

Can y’all just post your therapist’s advice in the comments so I don’t have to go?

98 shares on Discord this month:

I am not someone you have to entertain if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

70 shares on Messenger this month:

Twitter is basically a psychiatric ward where all the patients diagnose each other.

34 shares on Reddit this month:

Don’t talk to me unless you are a ham sandwich.

10 shares on YouTube this month:

Whoever is writing my Rom-Com, can you maybe, I don’t know, START IT?

72 shares on Twitch this month:

Where do I sign up to be one of those influencers with 2M followers whose whole thing is just standing in front of other people’s content and nodding?

98 shares on Instagram this month:

Animals are so crazy because, why is your mom only one year older than you?

89 shares on Telegram this month:

A hammock is a terrible place to receive bad news.

17 shares on Messenger this month:

Today sucked so bad, I had to stop by the liquor store on my way to the bar.

67 shares on WeChat this month:

Don’t wait for later to eat the cake. Do it now, before another mammal of your household finds it.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Another Netflix price increase? Guess we’re only chilling now.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m always happy when I come home from shopping and the note on the table reminds me of what I wanted to buy.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I feel useless, but then I remember I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Behind every robot that turns evil is an engineer who specifically installed red LEDs into the eyes just for this scenario.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The easiest way to bundle your home and auto insurance is to live in your car.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The “Wooooooooo” track from sitcoms should play whenever you kiss someone in real life.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

All of my problems boil down to me being bad at being alive.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

A guy in the parking lot saw me trip over my own feet so I yelled to him “I just quantum leaped into this body!”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

4,044

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

When life hands me lemons, I put them in the fridge next to the bagged salad I’m also not going to eat.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

I found out why my computer keeps freezing. Apparently, I’ve got too many windows open.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

I get easily confused in the morning. Also in the afternoon and evening.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

I’m a go with the flow kind of gal unless the flow is after 9pm or involves parallel parking.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

A little time spent not acting your age is never a bad thing.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

If your boyfriend insists he rolls everywhere because it’s ‘faster than walking’, you may be dating a gamer.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

You’re so productive for your wage.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

I bet there’s a couple of seconds on that medieval torture stretcher rack where it feels incredible.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

We do it every night. Annoy each other.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

Sometimes I use big words I don’t always fully understand, in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.

Going bananas on WeChat:

My only addiction is coffee, which is just like crack but is legal and tastes good.

Trending via X:

January is the Monday of the year.

Trending via WeChat:

I’m not moody; I’m just on shuffle.

Just shared via Twitch:

I wonder how much this “Never mind, it’s only 10 bucks” has already cost me?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

My favorite emails are the ones that say your order has shipped.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I’ve had two glasses of wine and responded with “Omgggg congrats, sweet girl” on an engagement post of someone I haven’t spoken to in 5 years.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

You know it’s a fancy restaurant when you have to point at what you want on the menu because you can’t pronounce the name.

Spotted on Messenger:

They should invent a DoorDash but for a kiss goodnight and getting tucked in.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

There’s a cougar warning in my neighborhood, but apparently it’s just a big cat. I bought a case of wine coolers for nothing.

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