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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

When you ask for your phone charger back and your teenager has the audacity to ask “what percentage are you on?”

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Wake me up when I’m rich!

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

I think you would all treat me a lot better if I possessed a small amount of plutonium.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

I need you to put the fun in refund!

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

I’ve added lunges to my workout routine. It’s a big step forward.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

How dare you say I’m crazy on the eve of my cat’s wedding?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Adulthood is really discovering half your family is mentally ill.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

The first Humans saw the sun go up and then back down, and so they decided to call it a day.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

My motivation and me: It’s complicated.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

None of the Instagram story fonts represent me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

What age do you learn to cook pasta for one and not for a whole village? Asking for a friend.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

You’re in her DMs, she’s in my bed whining that it’s too cold. Can you come get her?

Trending via WeChat:

Girls don’t actually shop. We just walk round touching the clothes saying ‘this is cute’.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Politics top tip: Gain people’s trust by telling them that everyone is lying to them.

Trending via YouTube:

I had an irrational fear of bees until I saw My Girl and it became rational.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Soccer: I love when they hold up the sign and a brand new, beautiful boy takes the place of a dirty, sweaty, ruined one.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I like when the rain is misty and you get to feel like a grocery store broccoli for a little while.

Going viral on Slack:

It’s weird how horses can run so fast but still suck at every other sport.

Spotted on Threads:

What does international law say about a third Margarita?

Just landed via YouTube:

If I say I love you, it’s just the apocalypse talking.

Funny devastating quotes

Funny devastating quotes bring that perfect mix of laughter and facepalm moments 🤯😂 They capture life’s harsh truths with a witty twist, making you chuckle even when things feel a little rough. Ready to laugh through the chaos and embrace the irony? Let’s dive into some hilariously brutal wisdom that’s equal parts savage and smart! 💥🤣✨

New funny devastating quotes 👇

When kids try to guess your age it will either be completely flattering or utterly devastating, but never correct.

3 hours ago

age, ageism, compliments, devastating, flattering, guessing, humor, kids, perception
To everyone who wrote “stay cool” in my year book, I have some devastating news.

2 months ago

book, cool, devastating, devastating news, everyone, humor, i, irony, news, stay, stay cool, year, year book
Have come to the devastating realization that I am an over-nodder on video calls.

2 months ago

am, call, calls, devastating, funny observation, humor, i, interaction, meeting, observation, online, online meeting, over-nodder, realization, social, social interaction, video, video call
Probably the worst thing about the death of print media is the devastating effect it’s having on the producers of traditional ransom notes.

2 months ago

communication, death, devastating, effect, having, humor, irony, media, note, notes, print, print media, producers, ransom, ransom note, satire, thing, traditional, traditional media, worst
I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.

3 months ago

devastating, everything, home, humor, husband, kitchen, memory, organization, rearranging, relationship, used, where

All funny devastating quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m at the age where I see a huge, beautiful mansion in a movie and think, “How much does it cost to heat that house in the winter?”

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

His voice was like whiskey. Smooth with a slow burn that lit me up from the inside.

75 shares on Telegram this month:

You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.

99 shares on WeChat this month:

“Just circling back on this.” – “Take another lap.”

59 shares on Twitch this month:

I have feelings for you but you have to guess which ones.

52 shares on Telegram this month:

Looks fade but dark, twisted, inappropriate humor is forever.

23 shares on Telegram this month:

“Help us improve Instagram!” Nice try, fix your own damn website.

49 shares on Slack this month:

Instead of making a sound, car alarms that go off at night should blast your name so everyone knows it’s your car.

58 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m at the “buy bigger jeans” part of my Eat. Pray. Love. journey.

16 shares on Facebook this month:

What if you went to ET’s planet and all of the other ET’s were wearing clothes?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m great at saving money, as long as I don’t go anywhere, see anyone, or open my eyes.”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

It scares me when you stay up late, like 3 a.m., and you hear a car go down the road, like, where are you going?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s quite ironic that “strap on,” backwards, spells “no parts.”

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The 5 seconds in the morning, when I don’t yet know who I am, is the best time of the day.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Me driving at night: I hope this is the road!

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Can y’all just post your therapist’s advice in the comments so I don’t have to go?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh, to be a rich, beautiful woman in her big car, driving to buy overpriced groceries to stock up her breathtaking kitchen in her gorgeous house.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Tonight I wanted to stop drinking but then I remembered the owner of the pub has a family to feed.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever a study shows excessive screen time causes brain damage I’m like “yeah, me know”.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Cannabis has many benefits. For example, it makes you retarded. But in addition, it also makes you lazy. No worries though, it also makes you fat and insane.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,324

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Maturing is realizing you’re not stable enough to do mushrooms.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

There are a few certainties in this life: death, taxes and when a Canadian tells you it’s cold out, it’s cold out.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Hanging out with a couple and saying, “May this love never find me,” every time there’s a slight conflict.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

I’m not procrastinating. I’m protecting my peace through active avoidance.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Sorry I’m late. The door said PULL, but I don’t believe everything I read.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

A pessimist is just an optimist playing hard to get.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

I may regret the megabytes I’ve wasted, but I’ll never regret the megabites I’ve tasted.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Just saw two identical twins out in public together. No disrespect to that lifestyle but please keep it private.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

I have heard that people without dogs have to pick up dropped food themselves.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

I wanna be a jellyfish— no heart, no brain, no feelings, no pain— just blub blub blub.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

Yeah, Instagram is bad for our mental health, but what about Outlook?

Live now on WhatsApp:

I love talkative cats. Like, yeah, bro. Meow, meow! You’re so right.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Don’t invite me if there’s nowhere to sit down.

Broadcasted on Slack:

There should be significant punishments for people at the grocery store with no spatial awareness.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Sleep hits different when you’re not supposed to be sleeping.

Live now on TikTok:

There’s two sides to every story, and then there’s these screenshots I got.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Give us this day our daily internet validation.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I’ve spent years struggling to prove that the sunk-cost fallacy isn’t actually a fallacy. No sense in giving up now, though.

Breaking via Twitch:

Please make sure you are only drinking as much water as you REALLY need. We need that for the data centers. If you’re thirsty, AI is thirsty too.

Trending via Messenger:

The secret to being a private person is to overshare dumb shit so people think you are an open book but then not tell them any of the important details of your life.

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