Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

I only drink when I people.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Asking “how’s the job hunt going?” is a lot like asking “did you come?” I promise you, you’d hear if there was any success.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

I’m drinking coffee so I don’t say mean things to you. You’re welcome.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

If it hurts you more than it hurts them, you are holding the taser wrong.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

They should invent a day where I don’t wonder why.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

The concept of a drive-by doesn’t really exist in the swamp biome; instead, people rap about doing bog-emerges.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

I was actually about to do a workout when the couch threw itself protectively under me.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

It’s not jingling to you that I’m standing on Christmas.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Twitter is like talking to yourself in public and some random dude walking by agrees with you.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

I love when people say, “It is what it is,” like they just discovered stoicism.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Jan 5, 2026

3,564

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

Facial recognition technology, but for me when I’m talking to people I’ve apparently met before.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Having to pay to read scientific and scholarly articles is a really disgusting and pathetic practice.

Just landed via Reddit:

I mostly stopped responding to emails three years ago, and aside from various consequences, it’s been fine.

Shared recently on Instagram:

“Mom, how did we get so rich?” your father said, “Thanks, nothing from my end,” on thousands of important Zoom meetings.

Spotted on Twitch:

I think I’m emotionally constipated because I haven’t given a shit in months.

Going viral on Twitch:

Nice tweets, bro. What medications are you on?

Going viral on Slack:

Me summer vacation planning: I’m going to Europe. Bank account: You’re going camping.

Spotted on Threads:

When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

Trending via Snapchat:

Being excited to get in bed really is a different level of adulting.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Everyone says “Do what makes you happy”, until you push them down the stairs.

Funny donate quotes

Funny donate quotes bring a smile 😄 while inspiring generosity 💖! Whether you’re fundraising or just spreading good vibes, these witty lines add a splash of humor 🎉 to giving back. Ready to laugh and donate? Let’s make kindness contagious with a little laughter 🤣 and a whole lot of heart! ❤️✨

New funny donate quotes 👇

Millionaires and multi-billion dollar companies be like, “We’re doing our part by asking the poor to donate to the poor.”

0

2 months ago

asking, charity, company, doing, dollar, donate, donation, humor, inequality, millionaire, millionaires, poor, satire, wealth, wealth inequality
You should be able to donate somebody else’s body to science.

0

2 months ago

able, absurdity, body, donate, ethics, humor, joke, science, should, somebody
Wouldn’t it be nice if you could donate your own body fat to those who need it more urgently?

0

2 months ago

body, body fat, donate, fat, health, humor, loss, need, nice, own, urgency, weight, weight loss
You should never donate to people that collect money for marathons. They just take your money and run.

0

2 months ago

donate, fundraising, humor, joke, just, marathon, money, never, people, run, sarcasm, should, take
Don’t donate your plasma. It’s a big scam, and they’re just using it to make TVs.

0

6 months ago

big, donate, donation, humor, just, plasma, scam, TV, TVs, using

All funny donate quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Snapchat this month:

My fridge has brought more light into my life than most people.

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

Even wild things have slow mornings.

49 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My parents grew to like my girlfriend so much, they take her as their own daughter. Now they started looking for a proper boyfriend for her.

37 shares on WeChat this month:

First date idea: you bring me coffee in bed, and we snuggle all morning.

18 shares on Twitch this month:

If you get drunk and message your ex, don’t worry. When you wake up, send bitcoin ads and pretend you were hacked.

69 shares on X this month:

Reading a book and coming across a character’s name that you don’t know how to pronounce, so for the rest of the book, every time you see it, your brain just goes ‘skdjfkskakfk.’

28 shares on WeChat this month:

The older I get, the more I understand why people live in the woods and talk to squirrels.

65 shares on YouTube this month:

Due to unforeskin circumcistances …

23 shares on Threads this month:

Got the zoomies at work, and now HR is chasing me around with a butterfly net.

42 shares on Reddit this month:

There’s two sides to every story, and then there’s these screenshots I got.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

As a child, I had the impression that I would be offered free drugs by strangers much more frequently than the 0 times it’s happened.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My life is just a series of awkward moments separated by snacks.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

What are some fun beginner crimes for someone getting into lawlessness?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Kids be like: “Nice bathroom mirror. It would be a shame if I spat toothpaste all over it.”

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a strong, independent woman, but like, against my will.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to middle age. You now take pictures of instructions so you can enlarge them.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I am both dumber and smarter than you think. Do not estimate me.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I bet oiling and wrapping potatoes in aluminum foil feels so good for the potato.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s being annoyed by stupidity.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Are there any medium rappers? They’re always Big or Lil.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,545

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

I hate having a ton of anxiety and no energy. It’s like having a tank full of gas and no engine.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

“I’m at that stage of Christmas shopping where I start buying myself presents.”

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Customers will say shit like, “Uhh, it’s asking me to remove my card?”

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Sometimes, when I need a really good night’s sleep, I call my burrito guy to come over and tuck me in.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Refusing to make eye contact with anyone while I eat my banana.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Is it just me, or does anybody else get excited about cancelling plans?

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Very disappointed by the symbolism of last night’s dream. Just really obvious, derivative stuff.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Toasters aren’t governed by that little dial. They have free will.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

I tell my kids winning isn’t everything and then I steal money from the monopoly bank.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Are you mad at me? Have you been mad at me? Will you be mad at me? When will you be mad at me?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

Don’t buy roses for her, buy chicken nuggets. Show her you really care.

Seen just now on Discord:

While a leaf blower is a close second, my preferred cleaner is a flamethrower.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

It’s funny how our brains remember that we have forgotten something, but not what we have forgotten.

Trending via TikTok:

One person’s logic is another one’s “what the heck?”

Just shared via Discord:

Why do fruit flies be everywhere but at the supermarket? Ain’t that like their Golden Corral?

Shared recently on Threads:

I’m at that age where someone can call me the wrong name and I’m just like “whatever, I’ll be Dan for a minute”.

Making waves on Facebook:

It’s so cold outside I saw a gangster pull his pants up and walk stiffly.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I’ve already picked out my sweatpants for New Year’s Eve.

Freshly posted on X:

People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.

Going viral on Slack:

You can have kids or you can always know where your scissors are. You can’t have both.

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