76 funny door quotes - Page 2 - Wordgag

A gentleman opens doors and brings flowers. A man smacks your ass and pulls your hair. A soulmate does both.

May 19, 2026

Goodbye, August, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

May 19, 2026

It’s funny how people without pizzas in their hands actually think I’ll answer my door.

May 19, 2026

When a documentary starts with an old person going, ‘We’re a small town, we didn’t lock our doors at night,’ oh, we’re gonna find out what made them start.

May 19, 2026

There’s poetry in walking away without closing the door too loud.

May 19, 2026

If I worked for UPS, there would be a 100% chance I’m falling out that open door when I turn a corner too fast.

May 19, 2026

If a door closes, I’m just going to open it again.

May 18, 2026

Sarcastically saying “you’re welcome” to the people who don’t say thank you when I hold the door for them is something I’ll never stop doing.

Apr 1, 2026

Just realized doors really are floating in the air 24/7. I don’t like that.

Apr 1, 2026

In all the movies, Santa never goes to the house directly next door. He always gets in his sleigh and flies off like 20 miles east.

Apr 1, 2026

The miracle of DoorDash is that I just pick up my phone, punch a few things into it, and within half an hour I have, at my door, a $52 salad.

Apr 1, 2026

I don’t have an advent calendar, so I’m just opening cupboard doors and eating what’s in there.

Apr 1, 2026

If I had a tiny girlfriend, I would love to throw her across gaps so she can pull levers and open doors that get me to her part of the level.

Apr 1, 2026

What age will I grow out of not answering the door when I’m home and sneaking around the house to find out who’s knocking?

Apr 1, 2026

I could be staring at my hand locking my front door, and I still won’t feel 100% sure my front door was locked.

Mar 31, 2026

Parent hack: Shut your child’s bedroom door to make your house cleaner.

Mar 31, 2026

Ignored the small door that appeared in my apartment three days ago, and now it’s gone. That’s how it’s done.

Mar 31, 2026

Texting is so boring. Just show up to my door with roses.

Mar 31, 2026

Aliens probably lock their doors when they fly past Earth.

Mar 30, 2026

My door camera alerts are all just me stepping outside to see how warm it is.

Mar 30, 2026

Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

Mar 30, 2026

‘Another bombshell has entered the villa!’ I say to myself as I walk in the front door of my own home.

Mar 30, 2026

So annoying when your family knocks on the toilet door and asks what you’re doing. I’m baking a cake. HBU?

Mar 30, 2026

Pugs look like regular dogs that ran into a door at full speed.

Mar 30, 2026

Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

Mar 30, 2026

American homes are so strange because, why is your front door in the living room?

Mar 30, 2026

Thanks for leaving my door open; I was running low on houseflies.

Mar 30, 2026

I’m busy watching the vegan couple next door arguing about the Big Mac wrapper I hid in their trash can.

Mar 30, 2026

Just know that somebody out there is thinking of you, and you should really lock your doors.

Mar 28, 2026

I bet aliens lock their door when they go past earth.

Mar 28, 2026

Not a religious man but I do say a short prayer whenever I open a gas station restroom door.

Mar 28, 2026

When God closes a door, he opens a window. Unfortunately, we are in a submarine.

Mar 28, 2026

I have a complicated relationship with push/pull doors.

Mar 28, 2026

When one door closes, lock it securely, along with all your other doors and windows, before any inspirational quotes get in.

Mar 28, 2026

A bird just flew into our glass door. Іt’s not dead. Just really embarrassed.

Mar 28, 2026

Imagine hating me and I’m just here trying to push a door that says pull.

Mar 28, 2026