132 funny driving quotes - Page 4 - Wordgag

Drove by a woman with her car broke down, I was going to stop and help until I remembered I don’t know anything about cars or women.

Mar 25, 2026

Congratulations on angrily speeding past me to get to the red light first. You’re special.

Mar 25, 2026

If you fall asleep long enough, the steering wheel gives you a pillow.

Mar 25, 2026

The most important thing to remember when driving is that not everyone is smart.

Mar 25, 2026

I bet whenever a pilot drives a car there’s a brief moment of panic like “why isn’t it going up?”

Mar 25, 2026

You know those lines you see painted on parking lots? I know this will come as a shock to some of you, but you’re supposed to park between them.

Mar 25, 2026

I got 3 miles in before breakfast. That’s enough driving for the day.

Mar 25, 2026

Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

Mar 25, 2026

A big F*** YOU to people driving small cars and pulling deep into parking spaces so I think I have a spot until the last second.

Mar 25, 2026

All my small talk is done with a car horn.

Mar 24, 2026

One thing that could really “level-up” the experience of being a pedestrian would be if cars had some kind of feature that could indicate whether or not they were going to turn in a particular direction.

Mar 24, 2026

You want me to sit in the back seat? The thing that killed JFK?

Mar 24, 2026