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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand, “kill them with kindness”; can I use a lightsaber instead?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

The only thing worse than a nightmare is waking up from a great dream before you get to see how it ends.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

I know I just ate a snack, but I could really use a snack.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Sometimes I do this fun little thing, where I take the time to write a grocery list, and then I forget it at home.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

I miss when The Weeknd made haunted strip club music. Didn’t know how good I had it.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

If I’ve offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize, I honestly did not think you could read.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

I feel like we’re on like the 50th or 60th horseman of the apocalypse by now.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

We literally used to write an essay by hand.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

I’m not fat. I’m just easy to see.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,395

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to cancel plans.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Professor: Most of you won’t pass this course. Me: Cool, so you’re like, real shitty at your job.

Going bananas on YouTube:

You just can’t live a full life on an empty stomach.

Just landed via Snapchat:

When a man likes you, he talks to you every day, and apparently, when you start to like him back, he is very busy and can’t talk at all. That’s how it works.

Just shared via Telegram:

70% of marriage is yelling “What” from a different room.

Spotted on TikTok:

I can’t believe someone ran over my neighbors loud motorcycle tomorrow morning.

Just shared via Twitch:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.

Trending via Messenger:

I love Fleetwood Mac, but “thunder only happens when it’s raining” is just not true.

Live now on YouTube:

People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing.

Funny entitlement quotes

Funny entitlement quotes bring a hilarious twist to those moments when people think the world owes them something 😂🌍 Whether it’s outrageous demands or quirky attitudes, these quotes shine a light on entitlement with a wink and a smile 😜✨ Perfect for sharing laughs and keeping things light, they remind us not to take life too seriously while poking fun at our human quirks! 🎉🤣

New funny entitlement quotes 👇

All funny entitlement quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on WeChat this month:

Exercise gives you energy, but you need energy to exercise. Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.

15 shares on Facebook this month:

I just went to Crazy Town, and they said you’re a local legend.

22 shares on TikTok this month:

I love how bananas just take over the whole smoothie. You can never dim her light.

11 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m best man at my buddy’s second wedding. Is it appropriate to open my dinner speech with “Welcome back everyone”?

86 shares on TikTok this month:

Grown men carpooling to the strip club so they can get boners and drive home together.

73 shares on Messenger this month:

My weight loss journey is just the three hours in between meals.

19 shares on Instagram this month:

I dream of disappearing into the woods with Wi-Fi.

82 shares on Slack this month:

The first step is admitting that the other person is the one with the problem.

32 shares on Telegram this month:

I wonder how many people think, “What the hell?” after talking to me.

24 shares on Twitch this month:

My husband has reached an age where he reads the menu out loud. The whole menu. And then he has questions. Please send help.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Sharpening pencils at the bin was the biggest link-up.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

“Huh” is 94% of my vocabulary.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Feels like if cicadas are allowed to just sit in a tree and scream, I should also be.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

You better be kissing the screen when I send pics.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Underrated life skill: only doing what feels genuinely right and letting everything else go.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

“You’re so quick to cut someone off!” God forbid a girl actually has self-respect.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Starting your day with an early morning run is a great way to make sure your day can’t get any worse than it started.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

A storm knows it’s laced with destruction, and yet it rages on.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite thing to do on the weekend is not leave my house.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s now socially acceptable again to clap when the plane lands.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,746

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

I tell my kids winning isn’t everything and then I steal money from the monopoly bank.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

My favorite part about going camping is the part where I stay at home, and I don’t go camping.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Shoutout to Netflix for being the only one that checks in on me every few hours. “Are you still watching?” Yeah, babe, thank you for asking.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Brain, I know you’re trying hard, but you are not doing a good job.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Name a better duo than sad and depressed.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

God gives the most irritable bowels to the most beautiful angels.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Some of these fake tans look like an old Tupperware container that’s had marinara sauce in it.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Aura is the real business card.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

I can clean the whole house if I want to, but if someone asks me to do it, suddenly I’m lazy.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

“It is what it is,” I say, not really knowing what it actually is.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.

Going viral on WeChat:

You look like the kind of person who would hit rock bottom and then start drilling.

Making waves on Messenger:

Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m in preschool or school… Oh wait, I’m at work.

Seen just now on Threads:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I mean, sex is all right, but have you ever experienced the sheer sensuality of having rock-solid proof that a problem at work was someone else’s fault, even though it really, really looked like it was yours?

Just landed via YouTube:

Genuinely, why does the logo of every AI chatbot look like a butthole?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

One minute you’re young and wild, the next minute you’re into air fryers.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Many people mistakenly believe that diamond is the hardest substance on earth, but in reality it is my husband’s stubborn head.

Just landed via Slack:

Not only do I turn down my radio to find a house or a parking spot, but I also take off my sunglasses to hear someone better.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

If you have nothing nice to say, I promise you that I’ll have something even worse to say back.

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