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New funny quotes: 6 this month

15,831 funny quotes and pics

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Updated: Jun 2, 2026

 

 

 

 

 

459 Funny family quotes

Funny family quotes are the perfect way to bring a smile to your face! 😂🏡 Whether it’s quirky sibling banter, amusing parent-child moments, or those hilarious family gatherings, these quotes capture the essence of family life with humor and warmth. Dive in and enjoy the laughter that comes from the people who know you best. ❤️😆

They say the human body is 60% water, but after extensive observation of my husband and son, I’d like to submit a revision to the data. Those two are at least 50% wind.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I love when women have one daughter as their only child. It’s so incredibly chic.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I want a man to love me so bad his entire family thinks I did witchcraft on him.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Parents be like “Boys are easier,” and then their daughter has to save the family from ruin.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Home is where you can say anything because nobody’s really listening, anyway.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Currently helping my nephew look for his M&M’s that I ate yesterday.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

My favorite kind of gender reveal is the one where the parents find out, and they just tell everyone through text instead of making me go to a party.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

I come from a long line of people with something wrong with them.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Told my girlfriend that Mum is deaf, so speak loud and slow. Also told Mum that my girlfriend has special needs.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

In the 80s, you could literally shrink your kids with a shrink-ray, and your wife wouldn’t divorce you. I’m pretty sure I saw a documentary film about it.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

I love spending my parents’ money, they must pay for bringing me into this world.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

In retrospect, I guess “one drunken night of stupidity” isn’t the best response when a child asks you where babies come from.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Eventually, kids get old enough to see which parent was the problem.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

My family passed down mood swings and anxiety instead of money or houses.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Moms be like, “I needed this,” and it’s really just a break from being the one who holds it all together every single day.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

My favorite part of parenting is when the kids are bored enough to entertain themselves, but getting to that point is excruciating.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Telling my parents they’re like family to me.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

My southern family thinks my daily routine in NYC is that I wake up, try really hard not to get stabbed by a knife, and then I go see a musical.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

One day I’ll have a sassy, know-it-all daughter, and my husband will say, “She got that from you,” and I can’t wait.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

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