Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

I’m at the stage in life where I stay out of arguments. Even if you say 1+1=5, you’re right. Have fun.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Kitchen sex, because it might be your only chance of getting laid on an island this summer.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Still writing the old year on all my ransom notes.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

I’m bringing back “hold your horses” and nobody can stop me.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

90% of the ocean is unexplored, which means there could be a McDonald’s down there.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Bad news. Right now is as young as you’re going to be.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Not again. I mean good morning.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

They should invent going outside without people looking at you.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Eating the rest of the donuts will keep me from eating donuts tomorrow. My logic is flawless.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Saw an article on “100 things to do before you die.” Was surprised Call 911 didn’t make the list.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,599

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

It’s leg day. No, not at the gym, dummy. I’m shaving them.

Breaking via Snapchat:

People in their 20s be like, “This is my emotional support master’s degree.”

Spotted on Discord:

Surround yourself with people who google the menu of the restaurant beforehand.

Making waves on Twitch:

Please go out, have fun, have friends, make connections. That mysterious lifestyle won’t save you.

Trending via Facebook:

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Moose would have been a better name for a cow.

Just shared via Snapchat:

The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

Just landed via Threads:

It’s interesting growing up and discovering that most adults are not that clever. I had my suspicions as a kid but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I finally used a screw from the random screw collection I’ve been accumulating for 25 years, and I’ve never felt so alive.

Seen just now on Discord:

I slept like a baby, knowing I’m a burden to everyone around me.

83 Funny forgetfulness quotes

More funny forgetfulness quotes 👇

If a man says he’ll fix it, he will fix it. There’s no need to remind him every six months.

1 week ago

every, fix, forgetfulness, hell, humor, man, months, need, patience, procrastination, promise, reliability, remind, repair, six
Of course I wrote a grocery list. I carefully wrote it all down and then didn’t bring it with me, like my mother and her mother before her.

2 weeks ago

before, bring, carefully, course, everyday, everyday life, family, forgetfulness, grocery, grocery list, humor, i, life, list, me, mother, procrastination, tradition
No revenge, because I don’t even remember what happened.

2 weeks ago

amnesia, comedy, even, forgetfulness, humor, i, irony, memory, remember, revenge
If my memory gets any worse, I’ll be able to plan my own surprise party.

2 weeks ago

able, forgetfulness, humor, joke, memory, own, party, plan, sarcasm, surprise, surprise party, worse
I forgot my password, failed the captcha and have been accused of being a robot. I don’t even know how to fight these allegations.

2 weeks ago

allegations, being, captcha, comedy, even, failed, fight, forgetfulness, forgot, humor, i, know, password, robot, technology
Lately I have the attention span of wait what?

2 weeks ago

attention, attention span, comedy, confusion, distraction, forgetfulness, humor, i, span, wait, wit
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again because I have a terrible memory.

2 weeks ago

forgetfulness, humor, i, memory, repetition, terrible
I don’t understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can’t remember why I walked into the kitchen.

2 weeks ago

1984, forgetfulness, humor, irony, kitchen, memory, nostalgia, song, word
I enjoy long walks up and down my stairs trying to remember what I was supposed to be doing.

2 weeks ago

daily, daily life, distraction, doing, enjoy, exercise, forgetfulness, humor, i, life, memory, remember, stairs, trying, walk, walks
My brain logged me out due to inactivity, and I can’t remember the password.

2 weeks ago

brain, due, forgetfulness, humor, i, inactivity, login, me, memory, password, remember, technology

For even more funny forgetfulness quotes, hit next 👇

All funny forgetfulness quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on Messenger this month:

Life is so draining, you fix one problem, here come 12 more.

71 shares on Twitch this month:

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

76 shares on YouTube this month:

If you stand too close to me in the check out line, you may as well pay for my stuff while you’re breathing down my neck.

10 shares on Messenger this month:

Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.

35 shares on Twitch this month:

I hope we’re good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.

23 shares on Facebook this month:

As I’m cleaning my room, this is a friendly reminder that you actually don’t need that free t-shirt or tote bag from that event.

42 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I wish people would stop holding back and use social media to tell us how they really feel.

91 shares on Slack this month:

Behind every funny man is a woman who rolls her eyes.

60 shares on Twitch this month:

Just got emotional imagining a worm emerging from its cocoon as a dragonfly and then got even more emotional remembering that’s not what they do.

94 shares on YouTube this month:

Girl dinner, but it’s the hearts of men who wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

“I’m in a really good place right now, not mentally. I’m just indoors with air conditioning.”

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

For Christmas, I’d like to figure it all out.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

69. Some might call it nasty. I call it a romantic dinner for 2.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

I believe in annoyed at first sight.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Millennials aren’t having kids because no one’s made lo-fi hip-hop beats to yell at your kids to.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Is there an app yet that converts voice messages into text messages?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Forced to say “it’s okay” instead of throwing a chair at them.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

I’ve never wrestled an angry alligator, but I have taken off a wet sports bra in the middle of summer. So, same thing.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

I showered with my boyfriend. My breasts have never been so clean! Wow!

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

“What fresh hell is this?“ It’s actually the same hell as yesterday. Not fresh at all, really.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

At a job interview: think of me as the rightful heir to the throne.

Just landed via WeChat:

Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.

Spotted on Telegram:

I refuse to go to a blood bank. I’m not taking your blood money.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I haven’t been with anyone in 3 years. I feel sorry for my next boyfriend. He might not make it through the day.

Just landed via TikTok:

We should make a new internet that’s as hard to use as the old internet was, so anyone that’s too stupid to have used the internet 20 years ago can’t get on it.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Texting random numbers “It’s done.”

Spotted on Twitch:

My body is 70% water and 30% tired of pretending I know what I’m doing.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I had an irrational fear of bees until I saw My Girl and it became rational.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Applying lip balm when you know someone’s watching you is a power move.

Spotted on Discord:

I hate when people say “It could be worse” because it could be better, too.

Activity Log ✨

83 Funny forgetfulness quotes

More funny forgetfulness quotes 👇

All funny forgetfulness quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨