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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Sorry I’m late. My catapult malfunctioned.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

I’m trying to shower you with affection. It doesn’t matter how I got into your bathroom.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

The holidays may be over by my work ethic is still out of the office.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

I told myself I’d behave today. Then I saw my reflection and thought, maybe tomorrow.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Salt is just angry sugar.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Always be kind. You never know who has a pool.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

God: “You’re all really bad at this.”

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Tattoos are a great convo starter. So as an introvert, I kinda regret getting them.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Just saw a bird run across the street if you were wondering if anyone else is wasting their gifts.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Remember the good old days when you didn’t have to wonder if the person messaging you was a bot or not?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,607

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

Twitter is great because you can get good life advice from other emotionally unstable adults.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I’m basically a taxi today for the kids and dogs.

Making waves on Instagram:

Sorry for widening my eyes and whispering “The prophecy” when we first met.

Making waves on Telegram:

In case any nudes of me should appear somewhere: It was very cold that day.

Just landed via X:

Grok just sounds like something that might try to eat me.

Just shared via Messenger:

At my age, “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what you came in there for.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I wish I could put an AirTag on my sanity.

Just shared via Telegram:

“I’m tired of being forced to eat microplastics. I’m ready for big plastics now.”

Seen just now on Twitch:

Attention: will the owner of a small blue planet with tectonic plates please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.

Trending via Telegram:

How do people post 25 times a day? The only thing I can do 25 times a day is pee.

28 Funny honor quotes

Funny honor quotes bring a playful twist to the serious world of respect and recognition 🎉😂 Whether you’re looking to lighten up a speech or add some humor to an award ceremony 🏆😄, these witty lines remind us that honor doesn’t always have to be so stiff and formal. Ready to chuckle while celebrating greatness? Let’s dive into some clever and hilarious takes on honor that’ll have everyone smiling! 😎🎭

New funny honor quotes 👇

Sometimes I can’t believe people have had the honor of experiencing my love and chose to hurt me instead.

0

2 months ago

believe, experience, heartbreak, honor, hurt, i, irony, love, me, people, relationship, sarcasm, sometimes
Fleetwood Mac said that I could go my own way, your honor.

0

2 months ago

courtroom, fleetwood, Fleetwood Mac, go own way, honor, humor, i, independence, joke, mac, music, own, said
I like smoke and lightning, your honor, heavy metal thunder, racing with the wind. You know that feeling I am under.

0

2 months ago

adrenaline, am, excitement, feeling, freedom, heavy, heavy metal, honor, i, know, lightning, metal, music, nature, racing, smoke, thrill, thunder, under, wind
In my defense, Your Honor, I was left unsupervised.

0

2 months ago

court, defense, funnyquote, honor, humor, i, judge, left, legal, unsupervised
Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.

0

2 months ago

achievement, am, education, graduation, honor, humor, i, just, people, pride, sarcasm
His hands wouldn’t stop talking to me, your honor.

0

2 months ago

awkward, communication, courtroom, hands, honor, humor, joke, me, speech, stop, talking
Your honor, I have a role to play as the black sheep of the family.

0

2 months ago

black, black sheep, family, honor, humor, i, identity, play, role, sarcasm, sheep
Your honor, I was in my villain era at the time of those incidents.

0

2 months ago

confession, courtroom, defense, era, honor, humor, i, incident, time, villain
I was neglecting my root chakra at the time, your honor.

0

2 months ago

chakra, court, honor, humor, i, neglect, root, root chakra, self-care, spirituality, time
In my defense, Your Honor, I grossly misunderstood the meaning of Boxing Day.

0

2 months ago

boxing, Boxing Day, court, day, defense, holiday, honor, humor, joke, misunderstanding

For even more funny honor quotes, hit next 👇

All funny honor quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on YouTube this month:

Sorry, I would love to, but I just made a bunch of rules for myself, and I’m actually not allowed to do that.

16 shares on TikTok this month:

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

40 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m sick of diarrhea. I want to livarrhea.

64 shares on Snapchat this month:

Running to the boarding gate is my favorite workout.

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

A female will ghost you, and the whole time she is waiting for you to text back again.

35 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s my birthday, but I’m not gonna post about it for attention like some kind of loser.

48 shares on Pinterest this month:

Channeling my inner forest ghost: hauntingly fabulous and slightly lost.

86 shares on Instagram this month:

Could you even imagine the crime rate if no one drank coffee or ate bacon.

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

I love spending my parents’ money, they must pay for bringing me into this world.

11 shares on Facebook this month:

Wine must breathe. I always hear that wine needs to breathe. I want to drink it and not revive it.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Before they perfected the Q-tip, you have to wonder what kinds of horrific things went wrong with tips A-P.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If two witches watched two watches, which witch would watch which watch? Each witch would watch which watch belonged to which witch’s wrist.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the terms and conditions I do not read.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine hating on me and I’m just in my room also hating on me.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope you celebrate your birthday like your birth – naked and screaming.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband accidentally locked himself out of the house, and I didn’t hear him knocking until I finished eating the rest of his cheesecake. So weird.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Men be like “I hate drama,” and then have love triangles, secret babies, a wife, side chick, ex that’s still around, breadcrumbs, and unhealed trauma.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I do my best to kill everyone with kindness, but they don’t seem to be dying.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Eternal Sunshine of the Thotless Grind.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I can admit that I am intrigued by people weirder than I am.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,615

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

I made you snort laugh, so we’re going out, right?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

I don’t get involved in anyone’s business, let alone their drama. You should try it.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

At least life has music.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Whenever I’m sad, you’re there. Whenever I have problems, you’re there. Whenever I lose control, you’re there. Let’s face it, you are bad luck.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

I hope one day I will sleep before midnight like normal humans do. Every day I sleep tomorrow, even yesterday I slept today.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Don’t forget to be mean to strangers on the internet today, for no reason whatsoever.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Whoever allowed me to become an adult needs to be fired.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

I wish more dumb people were shy.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

I’ve never been cut in half by a magician, but I have worn jeans on Thanksgiving. Same thing.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Hulk Hogan’s gone, so I’ll be ripping shirts and screaming “BROTHERRR!” at strangers in his honor.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

Sorry, my bedroom looks like a child with a credit card decorated it. Do you still want to bone?

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Perfume is designed to be an invisible accessory. It’s not designed to instantly kill the canary when you entered the room.

Going viral on X:

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

Shared recently on Reddit:

It’s like my wish isn’t even your command anymore…

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Me to HR: Okay, but you have to admit that was funny.

Shared recently on Slack:

I regret to inform you that the secret to appearing well-read is to read.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Don’t forget to make everything about you today.

Just shared via Discord:

What you call “Brunch” I call “Breakfast for Alcoholics.”

Going bananas on Instagram:

I don’t even want to talk about the things I had to do to that elf to get back on the nice list.

Spotted on X:

I respect the moon because it controls three of our most precious entities: oceans, wolves & women.

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